New York Pitch Conferences and Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, Poetry and Authors

Somber Billy.

Health is a faraway land inhabited
by everyone else, it seems-

Reminds me of Plath

You need to get out more then
.

Bob, I confess I had to read Wikipedia after this....

I've not written anything in a couple of months

Well good theme. Great line and stanza breaks too. An experience easy to relate to. Nice work

with its one bottle of wine
on a small, wobbly table
offered no lobby for patrons,

Strongest stanza for me. Captures his isolation. Solid poem in a genre you do so well

Poets are fickle and we run hot and cold. The bigger picture is future of IBPC. I echo what Michael says.

There aren't enough poets to go around as is.

I think of Palestine when it comes to olive trees. There is a satisfying warmth in this Bob. Very approachable

Yes. Lithium.

Nice. A good little poem eith a deep concept

Thanks Bob. I cannot accept.

Yes congrats indeed. Fine fine work. Both of you

Thank you Michael

There is the danger of being too "preachy" in s poem like this. I think the first stanza could be left out.. The last 2 lines are masterful. If there was a way to cut say, " to keep us moving forward" after carrot and stick, and similarity throughout so what precedes the last two lines sets them up ...

This is a poetry workshop, a forum where we help each other improve our craft. It isn't a forum on faith, personal religious beliefs or non-beliefs. Tolerance of others' beliefs(or non-beliefs) is a low threshold we should all be able to meet. A reasonable person would know this without having to be...

Judy. Just to say, 99.9% of the poets here are not offended by poems like this. We don't see a spiritual battle, or feel a compulsion to correct the beliefs of another. We don't abuse the forum.

That being said, I'll be back later to comment on the work itself

No such thing as too long. However some judicious stanza breaks might benefit the poem. I think it a good poem. Engaging, easily relatable

Agreed

I love my brother.

I get that it's a dreamscape and thus the feelings are not necessarily rooted in some event. I've had those kind of nightmares and they feel horrible.

Kenneth. I believe with all my heart
Donald Trump is a Christian.

You're shitting me. The man
is a serial adulterer.

God is a forgiving God
His hand is on Trump.

Well if there is a place for him
in Heaven, I don't want to go.

Be careful what you ask for !

Oh go fuck yourself.

Yeah this is clever. And like the use of music to heighten tension, the narrator doesn't give any details about her life. This is highly imaginative. Good job.

Thanks Meenas, Michael

Just make sure it's on this page the way you want it so Michael can forward

You did it right.

Eira, hope you're welll