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by SivaRamanathan
21 Apr 2019, 19:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My First Book of Poems has been published.
Replies: 3
Views: 167

Re: My First Book of Poems has been published.

Some of the poems were workshopped here. Thank you,my writing friends.
by SivaRamanathan
21 Apr 2019, 19:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My First Book of Poems has been published.
Replies: 3
Views: 167

My First Book of Poems has been published.

Some of the poems were workshopped here. Thank you,my writing friends.

Siva Ramanathan
by SivaRamanathan
28 Mar 2019, 06:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: 'Rosebud' - Citizen Kane [edit 2 formerly No Voice]
Replies: 22
Views: 1975

Re: No Voice

Frank
I did not quite get the Citizen Kane;the last couplet makes the poem. After all that violence,there is tenderness.

S
by SivaRamanathan
21 Mar 2019, 20:54
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Harbinger
Replies: 12
Views: 1471

Re: Harbinger

Bob

The last line is good,but there are some lines you can do without.I mean the poem can do without.Like those introverted questions that need no answers. It is too colloquial as it is,more like a first draft.Try tightening it,like a taut body.

S
by SivaRamanathan
16 Mar 2019, 06:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Salmon Run - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 1522

Re: Salmon Run - revised

Bob
Read a good poem first read of the morning. I did not quite get the girls,only got it after Frank's 'females. I also love the sound of those sibilant words which are quite new to me.

S
by SivaRamanathan
15 Mar 2019, 11:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Salmon Run - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 1522

Re: Salmon Run

I too found that line a bit odd, especially the negative 'but'.
by SivaRamanathan
28 Feb 2019, 20:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Former Captain Speaks His Love Story
Replies: 3
Views: 1233

A Former Captain Speaks His Love Story

To be alone on a ship at sea to look at sunrise and sunset the fauna and flora of the sea to sail fifty miles towards the land and wish to go the same fifty into the sea the power of being captain challenging nature the sea receding, the ship squatting on land thirteen at a table with gin and tonic ...
by SivaRamanathan
28 Feb 2019, 20:06
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: I Only Slept There
Replies: 5
Views: 1528

Re: In My Room As Little As Possible

Lovely last line.
Is this a prose poem,Billy? It works as it is.

S
by SivaRamanathan
30 Jan 2019, 20:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Athenaeum
Replies: 11
Views: 1727

Re: The Athenaeum

I am not able to work on this immediately. Maybe I will let it be for a week or so.Thank you all for your edits and ideas to edit.
by SivaRamanathan
28 Jan 2019, 13:06
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Athenaeum
Replies: 11
Views: 1727

Re: The Athenaeum

Thank you Frank.
by SivaRamanathan
28 Jan 2019, 05:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Athenaeum
Replies: 11
Views: 1727

Re: The Athenaeum

Kenneth and Bob

Thank you. I will start working.

Sivakami
by SivaRamanathan
27 Jan 2019, 20:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Athenaeum
Replies: 11
Views: 1727

Re: The Athenaeum

Please critique Frank. It is very cumbersome. Tighten,tighten and edit. Please.
by SivaRamanathan
27 Jan 2019, 08:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Athenaeum
Replies: 11
Views: 1727

The Athenaeum

Never in my wildest dreams had I pictured myself outside the library of Alexandria daping with an open mouth. More wonderful than the pyramids, more shapely than the sphinx I stand in awe of such magnificent knowledge bank a dream in concrete, an architect's poetry. Zaharaa the tour guide says,''loo...
by SivaRamanathan
17 Jan 2019, 22:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Survival
Replies: 5
Views: 1286

Re: Survival

Some lines are too dramatic.

S
by SivaRamanathan
05 Jan 2019, 14:08
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2019:
Replies: 15
Views: 2854

Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2019:

Michael
I have made a few small changes.Yesterday I did not know how to edit from this page. If you have not already forwarded the poems,please consider sending this version. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Siva
by SivaRamanathan
05 Jan 2019, 14:01
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2019:
Replies: 15
Views: 2854

Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2019:

Thank you team for asking me. 'Appa Took Me to a Village Nearby Called Agaram to Pay Homage to Agaram Swamiji and a Sanyasini ' is my original,unpublished poem and I am willing for it to represent the IBPC. My mail id is sivakamivelliangiri@ gmail.com Appa Took Me to a Village Nearby Called Agaram t...
by SivaRamanathan
01 Jan 2019, 15:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Fusions
Replies: 6
Views: 1776

Re: Fusions

I agree with Michael.The title fits. The workshop is also good. Sort of sums up.

Siva
by SivaRamanathan
26 Dec 2018, 09:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji
Replies: 17
Views: 2857

Re: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji

Thanks Meena. I also have to think like a seven year old.That is the difficult part.
by SivaRamanathan
26 Dec 2018, 09:30
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji
Replies: 17
Views: 2857

Re: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji

Thanks Meena. I also have to think like a seven year old.That is the difficult part.
by SivaRamanathan
24 Dec 2018, 22:12
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Fusions
Replies: 6
Views: 1776

Re: Fusions

Perhaps the title need not be so obvious.
by SivaRamanathan
23 Dec 2018, 19:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji
Replies: 17
Views: 2857

Re: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji

I fear it is too loquacious. Thank you.
by SivaRamanathan
21 Dec 2018, 22:31
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji
Replies: 17
Views: 2857

Appa Took Me to the Village Nearby Called Agaram In a Black and Yellow Taxi To Meet Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji

Appa took me to the village nearby called Agaram in a black and yellow taxi to meet a Sanyasini. That Swami Thatha who stayed in Vatsala’s house and fed us with morsels of epics, came from Agaram. where there was a Mata-Sanyasini, and if Swamijis didn’t marry, then who was she with a quarter-anna si...
by SivaRamanathan
21 Dec 2018, 21:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji
Replies: 17
Views: 2857

Re: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji

Thank you Bob. I will work on this.It is too loquacious.

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