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by SivaRamanathan
11 Feb 2020, 22:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur
Replies: 3
Views: 152

Re: Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur

Bob
I will work on it tomorrow .Thanks
S
by SivaRamanathan
10 Feb 2020, 23:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur
Replies: 3
Views: 152

Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur

I thought I was going to be submerged and dead. But the train kept going over track. 2 tmcft water was released at Mettur Dam, February 6th 8 pm, to save the standing crops from drying up. I see the sun rise, hear the heavy heaving sound of sand-stealers. Every government needs its TASMAC and sand b...
by SivaRamanathan
07 Feb 2020, 18:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: So
Replies: 3
Views: 198

Re: So

Bob

Even in the West this has been proven by Dr. Brian Weiss and Edgar Casey--The Many Mansions. However I am not into all this. This is what I overheard--a little bit and then I made it up.

Siva
by SivaRamanathan
06 Feb 2020, 23:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: So
Replies: 3
Views: 198

Re: So

Thanks Bob.

I will have to think when my mind is receptive,and I feel your argument holds good.Yet I wrote this only to illuminate the second stanza.Maybe I will discuss the subject with a few people before coming to some conclusion.

Siva
by SivaRamanathan
05 Feb 2020, 22:12
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: So
Replies: 3
Views: 198

So

so it is we who choose what we want to be born as we who choose when and where we who choose in which family and through whom. so even though my horoscope may match with your brother's if we had to finish off some fight, we will be quarrelling spouses or fighting sisters, or bitching enemies, and we...
by SivaRamanathan
04 Feb 2020, 20:27
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 996

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:

Michael
Please note that I just now changed these two lines--

When a bicycle was brought down from the train,
a man pedalled in circles making her head spin,

Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience.

Siva
by SivaRamanathan
03 Feb 2020, 09:58
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Darker Side of Watermelons
Replies: 6
Views: 533

Re: The Darker Side of Watermelons

The Darker Side of Watermelons Rows of watermelons dozed in bins ------------- newborns (nestled) (curled up) but days later they came crashing down. Witnesses leaped back as the watermelons made a left turn down a sloping road. We followed as they zigzagged for the beach. One man reported glancing ...
by SivaRamanathan
03 Feb 2020, 09:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Darker Side of Watermelons
Replies: 6
Views: 533

Re: The Darker Side of Watermelons

Bob

This is a surreal poem,half dream-half real and some of the lines are brilliant. Will come to it later in the day.

Siva
by SivaRamanathan
03 Feb 2020, 07:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Darker Side of Watermelons
Replies: 6
Views: 533

Re: The Darker Side of Watermelons

The Darker Side of Watermelons Rows of watermelons dozed in bins {as sweetly as } newborns, (replace with one word) but days later they came crashing down. Witnesses leaped back as the watermelons made a left turn down a sloping road. We followed as they zigzagged for the beach. One man reported gla...
by SivaRamanathan
03 Feb 2020, 07:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Darker Side of Watermelons
Replies: 6
Views: 533

Re: The Darker Side of Watermelons

They were 'like' kids
to
they were kids







they look as harmless as students
on graduation day,

to

They are harmless students
on graduation day
by SivaRamanathan
03 Feb 2020, 07:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Darker Side of Watermelons
Replies: 6
Views: 533

Re: The Darker Side of Watermelons

Bob Everything is fine except the 'sweetly',which sounds cloyed. Do newborns sleep sweetly? Surely you can replace it with another word that comes to that effect. Also avoid 'as' ---'-as. with one word and not two words. 'Dash newborns',not dash dash newborns. They were 'like' kids to they were kids...
by SivaRamanathan
02 Feb 2020, 20:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nestling (rev2)
Replies: 9
Views: 779

Re: The Nestling (rev2)

Eira

I seconded.I thought it was understood. Wish you all the best.Though I did not comment I have been following your revisions,which is a good exercise.

Siva
by SivaRamanathan
02 Feb 2020, 07:38
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 996

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:

Michael

I second Eira's poem,'The Nestling'.


PS
Eira,I wondered what was taking you so long to post your poem -I thought it was understood.
by SivaRamanathan
01 Feb 2020, 06:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Black as the coal workers, soot collects in her hair.
Replies: 8
Views: 1134

Re: Soot, Black as the Coal Workers, Collects in her Hair

Bob and Aira,

Please read this once,before it is being sent.

Siva
by SivaRamanathan
31 Jan 2020, 22:46
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 996

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:

' Black as the coal workers, soot collects in her hair. ' is my orginal,unpublished poem and I am not representing any other board.My mail id is sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com Black as the coal workers, soot collects in her hair. Grandmother ran to pick up a fallen mango during her own wedding proces...
by SivaRamanathan
31 Jan 2020, 22:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Going Back to Amma’s House
Replies: 6
Views: 469

Re: Going Back to Amma’s House

B

latent heat of water being higher than that of milk?

S
by SivaRamanathan
31 Jan 2020, 21:08
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 996

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:

Thanks Bob and Capricorn
I second Bob's 'Sleeping on a Roof.'

Siva
by SivaRamanathan
31 Jan 2020, 20:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Going Back to Amma’s House
Replies: 6
Views: 469

Re: Going Back to Amma’s House

Bob

I am happy with V3.Thanks for showing me how to work.

S
by SivaRamanathan
31 Jan 2020, 05:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Going Back to Amma’s House
Replies: 6
Views: 469

Re: Going Back to Amma’s House

Bob

Just seen this.Will get to work today.

S
by SivaRamanathan
29 Jan 2020, 21:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Going Back to Amma’s House
Replies: 6
Views: 469

Going Back to Amma’s House

V3 Going Back to Amma’s House A reversal of roles, I make coffee for Dad waiting at the dining table. He sips and says not quite like Somu’s ; steam rises, though not quite as it did a few days ago. I ask Somu , ‘’how do you manage? I too double boil the decoction, just like you.’’ The trick is to a...
by SivaRamanathan
29 Jan 2020, 10:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sleeping on a Roof
Replies: 10
Views: 752

Re: Sleeping on a Roof

Bob

And I will second the nomination.

Siva
by SivaRamanathan
28 Jan 2020, 13:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Latent Heat of Milk
Replies: 2
Views: 321

Re: The Latent Heat of Milk

Bob

Thank you. Seen and will work on it.

S

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