Search found 3 matches

by StephanieIannuzzi
21 Jul 2014, 22:31
Forum: New York Pitch Conference Novel Execution Forum
Topic: Group I
Replies: 22
Views: 102729

Re: Group I

Christine, as you know from the conference… I am fully hooked by the first chapter of your book! 1. Scene length and structure (1-5): 5 – I enjoyed the way you dropped us right into the action to set the scene. The spy flies are a great way to start and sets the stage for Big Brother to be watching ...
by StephanieIannuzzi
21 Jul 2014, 22:14
Forum: New York Pitch Conference Novel Execution Forum
Topic: Group I
Replies: 22
Views: 102729

Re: Group I

Corina – You have definitely given the reader a clear understanding of just how disgusting Shay’s boss is both in appearance and behavior. It’s clear that he will be an antagonistic force. I agree with Ben that your first paragraph could be expanded a bit to show just how abhorrent her job is. I do ...
by StephanieIannuzzi
21 Jul 2014, 22:01
Forum: New York Pitch Conference Novel Execution Forum
Topic: Group I
Replies: 22
Views: 102729

Re: Group I

Ben, I really like the new first paragraph. I think it flows well and gives clarity to the opening scene. Your narrative style is funny and engaging. It made me want to keep reading. I too was a fan of the Ducky mask and Care Bear pajamas. You definitely gave us a glimpse into the character of your ...