Search found 1466 matches

by BobBradshaw
22 Feb 2020, 21:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Boys of Summer
Replies: 2
Views: 36

Re: Boys of Summer

Thx, Siva... I simplified the poem. Let me know your thoughts.
by BobBradshaw
22 Feb 2020, 01:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Boys of Summer
Replies: 2
Views: 36

Boys of Summer

V2: Boys of Summer A ball leaped past my glove like a hare through a hole in a hedge, runners circling the bases. Other fathers raced onto the field, the game over, chattering like infielders. My father sulked in the car behind tinted glass. There were only errors in 1960, the year I was given a bus...
by BobBradshaw
21 Feb 2020, 01:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 3124

Re: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)

This is a nom for sure, and I believe a winner... such a charmer...
by BobBradshaw
21 Feb 2020, 01:31
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 3124

Re: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)

Yes! Your revision is terrific.... love the ending
by BobBradshaw
20 Feb 2020, 05:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Man on Moon
Replies: 8
Views: 341

Re: Man on Moon

Thx, Eira
by BobBradshaw
18 Feb 2020, 22:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Man on Moon
Replies: 8
Views: 341

Re: Man on Moon

Thanks, Siva
by BobBradshaw
17 Feb 2020, 22:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Man on Moon
Replies: 8
Views: 341

Re: Man on Moon

The only difference is that the first version ended on "shared" instead of "discovered". Let me know which you prefer, shared or discovered, as the last line.
by BobBradshaw
17 Feb 2020, 06:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Man on Moon
Replies: 8
Views: 341

Re: Man on Moon

Thx, Michael.... discovered it is
by BobBradshaw
17 Feb 2020, 01:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Man on Moon
Replies: 8
Views: 341

Man on Moon

Man on Moon How I've longed to be that woman folded within a man's arms that I always see at an airport. Others sweep by like water past a creek's stone. I stop and watch. My arms hold the emptiness of a sleepwalker as I gaze at the moon and wonder about the astronaut shuffling across its chalky sur...
by BobBradshaw
16 Feb 2020, 22:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 3124

Re: Found you Again on Facebook (revision)

I like this, especially the mix of song names intertwined in it. I think you have one too many descriptive lines though...I like this one the least...Taking it out would improve the poem. hungry lips mouthing frisky fingertips I like the poem's concept( an old one, but updated with the Facebook inte...
by BobBradshaw
14 Feb 2020, 07:41
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Laika, First Dog in Space
Replies: 1
Views: 208

Laika, First Dog in Space

Laika, First Dog in Space Don't do this, I whimpered. He held me squirming in his beefy hands. “Congrats, comrade, you’re now a cosmonaut.” For weeks I trained, circling in dizzying orbits around a centrifuge's roaring axis, my heart shaking like a furiously rattled cage. I kept barking out my conce...
by BobBradshaw
11 Feb 2020, 21:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur
Replies: 4
Views: 352

Re: Sunrise At Pugalur

I like this. I would replace "to be submerged and dead" with "to drown". I would add "the" before track. I would cut "I suppose". I have a question....Do the oxen actually walk across the water? Or through it? These are minor questions or nits. I like the closing couplet a lot. Although being picky ...
by BobBradshaw
06 Feb 2020, 21:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: So
Replies: 3
Views: 345

Re: So

This is a terrific subject, Siva. Keep mining your rich culture. Stanza 1 is a lovely beginning, with a nice flow to it. It sets the table clearly. It says we can choose our next life...however, the second stanza muddles this idea...it seems to say we will simply extend whatever conflict we're in wh...
by BobBradshaw
04 Feb 2020, 04:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Darker Side of Watermelons
Replies: 6
Views: 701

Re: The Darker Side of Watermelons

Thx, Suva.... I will use your suggestions. I have tweaked the piece. A poem drafted a few years back, that I wanted to work on...
by BobBradshaw
01 Feb 2020, 23:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Darker Side of Watermelons
Replies: 6
Views: 701

The Darker Side of Watermelons

The Darker Side of Watermelons Rows of watermelons dozed in bins, assured of their future as students on full scholarship. Days later they came crashing down. Witnesses leaped back as the watermelons wobbled left down a sloping road. We followed as they zigzagged for the beach. One man reported glan...
by BobBradshaw
01 Feb 2020, 22:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nestling (rev2)
Replies: 9
Views: 1065

Re: The Nestling (rev2)

Eira, you need to post this on the nomination page for ibpc
by BobBradshaw
01 Feb 2020, 22:53
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 1216

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:

Click the little exclamation point icon to edit it(you may need to login first to see it) on your post.
by BobBradshaw
01 Feb 2020, 10:18
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 1216

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:

Siva, you have a typo...."very evening" s/b every evening. By the way, I really like what you have done with this poem....strong and poignant at the same time.
by BobBradshaw
01 Feb 2020, 03:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Going Back to Amma’s House
Replies: 6
Views: 642

Re: Going Back to Amma’s House

Maybe just add a comma at the end of the previous line.
by BobBradshaw
31 Jan 2020, 22:13
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 1216

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:

1/Bob Bradshaw 2/bobbybradshw@yahoo.com 3the poem is my original 4/and unpublished work 5/and I don't have a poem committed to represent another board in the current IBPC. Sleeping on a Roof She brought me home from a reading, saying no poet should sleep so rough-- then trimmed my long hair. She wai...
by BobBradshaw
31 Jan 2020, 22:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Going Back to Amma’s House
Replies: 6
Views: 642

Re: Going Back to Amma’s House

Much, much better. The warmth comes through here....couple nits: This line is prosy. Can you simplify it? latent heat of water higher than that of milk Also Grandamma, she drank her coffee holding the cup with the tip of her sari. can you put a period after Grandmma, and Start a new sentence with "S...
by BobBradshaw
31 Jan 2020, 01:18
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 1216

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:

I nominate Siva's "Black as the coal workers..." and Eira's "The Nestling".
by BobBradshaw
30 Jan 2020, 22:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Going Back to Amma’s House
Replies: 6
Views: 642

Re: Going Back to Amma’s House

I like S1 the best. It's the simplest, and most clearly written. S2 needs the quotation marks corrected....S3...I like the part about holding with the loose end of the sari. I might put a line break after "sari". Why is there a fry in the poem? What relation does it have with the milk? I know the li...
by BobBradshaw
29 Jan 2020, 08:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sleeping on a Roof
Replies: 10
Views: 1038

Re: Sleeping on a Roof

Thx... that would be great
by BobBradshaw
28 Jan 2020, 21:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nestling (rev2)
Replies: 9
Views: 1065

Re: The Nestling

Eira, let me know whether you would like this poem or the Christmas poem nominated....

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