Search found 1048 matches

by BobBradshaw
21 Mar 2019, 21:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Harbinger
Replies: 2
Views: 18

Re: Harbinger

Good points...thx...I will take some lines out.
by BobBradshaw
21 Mar 2019, 20:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Harbinger
Replies: 2
Views: 18

Harbinger

Harbinger I admit I don't have the body of a dancer as I tiptoe up the stairs from the kitchen in the middle of the night. Still I'm implausibly happy. I should take better care of my body, should love it the way I did my first car, buffing and polishing it. Do I have twenty years left? Fifteen? I s...
by BobBradshaw
18 Mar 2019, 22:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Bees
Replies: 0
Views: 114

Bees

Bees I first worked in the nursery, tenderly stroking my sibling larvae. My next job was to dispose of rubbish, family slumped on the hive's floor. O my dead sisters... "Hurry," I was instructed. "There are deadlines to meet." With help I pushed them out through the hive's entrance, an omen of what ...
by BobBradshaw
18 Mar 2019, 21:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Broken
Replies: 3
Views: 211

Re: Broken

This is very good. Good, strong last line. The only nits I can come up with...I don't like the ending of lines on "were" and "Her". They don't deserve the weight. And if read with emphasis on the endings, they would read awkwardly. Of course one doesn't have to put emphasis on the last word of a lin...
by BobBradshaw
18 Mar 2019, 01:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Salmon Run - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 372

Re: Salmon Run - revised

Thx, Michael... this is a big improvement
by BobBradshaw
18 Mar 2019, 00:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Salmon Run - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 372

Re: Salmon Run - revised

I like this, Michael. I will probably use it... thank you
by BobBradshaw
17 Mar 2019, 20:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: 4 photojournalism (3-17-2019)
Replies: 2
Views: 169

Re: 4 photojournalism (3-17-2019)

I like this... clever. The line that bothers me is “every day Sunday”.... I don’t know what that means
by BobBradshaw
17 Mar 2019, 07:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Salmon Run - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 372

Re: Salmon Run - revised

Thanks, Eira
by BobBradshaw
16 Mar 2019, 20:02
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Trysting with Morpheus (rev 1)
Replies: 11
Views: 676

Re: Trysting with Morpheus (rev 1)

Good one... the revision makes it better
by BobBradshaw
16 Mar 2019, 09:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Salmon Run - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 372

Re: Salmon Run - revised

Thanks, Siva
by BobBradshaw
15 Mar 2019, 21:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Whistler's Mother
Replies: 10
Views: 441

Re: Whistler's Mother

Tweaked S3...thx, Michael
by BobBradshaw
15 Mar 2019, 20:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Salmon Run - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 372

Re: Salmon Run

Some excellent thoughts, guys... thank you... I will make adjustments... Frank, like especially the “pebbled shallows”
by BobBradshaw
15 Mar 2019, 06:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Whistler's Mother
Replies: 10
Views: 441

Re: Whistler's Mother

You’re right. They’re good suggestions... I will take advantage... thx, Billy, for confirmation
by BobBradshaw
14 Mar 2019, 22:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Salmon Run - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 372

Salmon Run - revised

V3: Salmon Run He squirms under fallen branches leaps over toppled trees his gills burning as he hurdles over boulders his hump slicing the water as eagles' talons like trawling hooks skim the surface all while females at the run's end scoop redds in the riffle dropping their roe in pebbled shallows...
by BobBradshaw
14 Mar 2019, 20:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Whistler's Mother
Replies: 10
Views: 441

Re: Whistler's Mother

Thanks, Michael, especially for the time to make suggestions. Bob
by BobBradshaw
14 Mar 2019, 20:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Shed
Replies: 3
Views: 259

Re: Shed

I agree with everything Kenneth said. Excellent poem....the descriptions put you right there in the shed.
by BobBradshaw
13 Mar 2019, 21:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: History By A Lesser Known
Replies: 10
Views: 371

Re: History By A Lesser Known

This is a good, dramatic story to pursue. However, don't just tell us about the protests, the bloodshedding, etc. Put us in the middle of a protest. Make us feel it. Make us see it. The "Go Away" slogan being shouted is good. Extend...give us more pictures. There is too much violence in our daily li...
by BobBradshaw
13 Mar 2019, 09:23
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Tired of Winning
Replies: 5
Views: 315

Re: Tired of Winning

I like the first stanza best....a subtle parallel with Mussolini might be a good approach to explore... political poems are incredibly difficult to make work....I admire your ambition They love his Mussolini pout, his windswept hair that flaps in the wind. They love his weaving hands that move sensu...
by BobBradshaw
12 Mar 2019, 20:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Whistler's Mother
Replies: 10
Views: 441

Re: Whistler's Mother

Meenas, Frank - thank you. Frank, I will think about your suggestion...thx for making it
by BobBradshaw
11 Mar 2019, 23:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Butterfly Effect Letter
Replies: 8
Views: 365

Re: Butterfly Effect Letter

Terrific poem... metaphor extended throughout... and that closing line is to die for... wonderful imaginative piece
by BobBradshaw
11 Mar 2019, 20:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Whistler's Mother
Replies: 10
Views: 441

Re: Whistler's Mother

Thank you, Ken, for saying that... many thanks
by BobBradshaw
10 Mar 2019, 22:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Whistler's Mother
Replies: 10
Views: 441

Whistler's Mother

V2: Whistler's Mother Who would have thought a simple woman from Paterson would live on in the Musée d'Orsay? When the painting was first unveiled the critics were outraged as if their own sister had posed nude in a brothel. Some wag chirped her son must have positioned me that way to avoid gazing a...
by BobBradshaw
10 Mar 2019, 22:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Paul Gauguin on Atuona - revised
Replies: 9
Views: 1133

Re: Paul Gauguin on Atuona - revised

Thanks, Michael, for your thoughts
by BobBradshaw
08 Mar 2019, 04:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Trysting with Morpheus (rev 1)
Replies: 11
Views: 676

Re: Morpheus' Tryst

This is close... there’s plenty to like, you paint a good scene. The tantalizingly tender and titillations lines aren’t needed. I like the warbler image, and might end the poem there. The last stanza is flat. Maybe you could either merge it with the previous stanza, but close on the warbler image or...
by BobBradshaw
08 Mar 2019, 04:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Paul Gauguin on Atuona - revised
Replies: 9
Views: 1133

Re: Paul Gauguin on Atuona - revised

Eira, Billy — thank you so much for your comments

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