Search found 1673 matches

by BobBradshaw
03 Dec 2020, 05:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Way Of Coyote
Replies: 2
Views: 115

Re: In The Way Of The Coyote

This is so good! I love the analogy being drawn between coyote and the narrator. Great last line.

Looking away when I felt them looking.
by BobBradshaw
03 Dec 2020, 00:39
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming December IBPC 2020:
Replies: 1
Views: 50

Re: Upcoming December IBPC 2020:

I nominate Meenas' "Long Hair Named Desire", Ken's "Body in the River" and Michael's "All Lives Matter".
by BobBradshaw
29 Nov 2020, 23:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Body In The River
Replies: 5
Views: 225

Re: Body In The River

A strong objective poem....love these lines best

His clothes.

It is hard not to admire
the well groomed hair.
by BobBradshaw
27 Nov 2020, 23:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: All Lives Matter
Replies: 2
Views: 343

Re: All Lives Matter

A nice uplifting poem....enjoyed, Michael
by BobBradshaw
24 Nov 2020, 23:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Moving Heaven
Replies: 3
Views: 348

Re: Moving Heaven

Strong poem. I like "infected with righteousness." The closing 2 lines work well, especially with the reference of "rice".

inculcated the locals with
doctrine and dogma and rice.
by BobBradshaw
22 Nov 2020, 22:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Plays for Mozart
Replies: 9
Views: 1007

Re: Beethoven Plays for Mozart

Thanks, Ken. Michael, I like your suggestion...I'll think about it.
by BobBradshaw
22 Nov 2020, 10:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Plays for Mozart
Replies: 9
Views: 1007

Re: Beethoven Plays for Mozart

Ken, I appreciate your comment. Can I bug you one more time and ask you to point out the lines in v2 that are telling? Appreciate it. Bob
by BobBradshaw
19 Nov 2020, 09:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Plays for Mozart
Replies: 9
Views: 1007

Re: Beethoven Plays for Mozart

Thanks, Ken, for your help and honesty. I have reworked the poem with your advice in mind. Unfortunately, the poem is even longer. But it is told from another person's viewpoint, his wife's. Let me know what you think. I always value your opinion.
by BobBradshaw
19 Nov 2020, 02:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Plays for Mozart
Replies: 9
Views: 1007

Re: Beethoven Plays for Mozart

Ken, thx for commenting. Fiddle with it how? I'm open to any suggestions.
by BobBradshaw
17 Nov 2020, 22:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Plays for Mozart
Replies: 9
Views: 1007

Beethoven Plays for Mozart

v2: Beethoven Plays for Mozart I was busy, in the middle of packing, our no longer affordable rent due. Wolferl was feverishly working on Don Giovanni , its score strewn about the floor. “ What now? ” he asked, exasperated at Gaukerl’s barking. An intruder walked through the door— a sixteen year old...
by BobBradshaw
15 Nov 2020, 04:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: While I Was Burning
Replies: 4
Views: 896

Re: While I Was Burning

I'm not sure what the poem's about, but I really like the tone of it, especially these lines...said with so much confidence

I told you I'd love you as best
I can and that's all there is to it.
by BobBradshaw
13 Nov 2020, 23:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Theresia Constanzia Adelheid Friedericke Maria Anna Mozart
Replies: 2
Views: 737

Theresia Constanzia Adelheid Friedericke Maria Anna Mozart

Theresia Constanzia Adelheid Friedericke Maria Anna Mozart With Johann I constantly itched, and my lower back ached from carrying a hill up a mountain. I could feel his feet nudge me for sweets, sweets, sweets--and me hungry the way I once was for Wolferl’s kisses. I knew he was a boy the way he kic...
by BobBradshaw
13 Nov 2020, 23:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Long Hair Named Desire
Replies: 6
Views: 1074

Re: Long Hair Named Desire

Lovely. Your imagery is good, pleasing. Enjoyed immensely
by BobBradshaw
08 Nov 2020, 22:33
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Shivapuranam
Replies: 2
Views: 985

Re: Shivapuranam

I like the idea of gods being flawed like the rest of us, enjoying the same things....My only suggestion...when you have a chance at imagery versus telling, go for the image...for example, the line enjoying conjugality, give us a picture of a couple or friends raising toasts, slipping an arm around ...
by BobBradshaw
02 Nov 2020, 01:24
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2020:
Replies: 14
Views: 1980

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2020:

I am not available this month but I am happy to nominate Meenas’ poem “ Navaratri”,
Billy’s “ Antlers” ( a tough choice, Billy... so many good ones to pick from”,
Michael’s “ I am always with you”.
by BobBradshaw
31 Oct 2020, 23:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sunflowers
Replies: 11
Views: 2768

Re: Sunflowers

revised the ending
by BobBradshaw
31 Oct 2020, 21:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Antlers
Replies: 3
Views: 1159

Re: Antlers

I am amazed and wowed how often your poems bloom naturally into such surprising and lovely endings. This piece does this as well. Kudos
by BobBradshaw
30 Oct 2020, 21:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Floods Down The Road
Replies: 4
Views: 1233

Re: Floods Down The Road

Fine poem, Meenas. Good imagery, from cars floating to the toppled rice(an image I love)....If you want me to nitpick I will, but I just want to enjoy this strong piece...

cooked rice topples over
seemingly like offerings
to water Gods.
by BobBradshaw
29 Oct 2020, 22:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: String of Flowers
Replies: 4
Views: 1303

Re: String of Flowers

I like the tone of this poem, and the flow. It would be stronger if it relied more on imagery and less on telling, though. As an exercise, try using just imagery to convey the same scene and emotions. William Carlos Williams often uses images alone, as in "Flowers by the Sea". Flowers by the Sea By ...
by BobBradshaw
27 Oct 2020, 08:12
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: To My Old Age
Replies: 9
Views: 1870

Re: To My Old Age

Thx, Michael
by BobBradshaw
27 Oct 2020, 08:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Nature of Man
Replies: 5
Views: 1456

Re: Nature of Man

Improved but it’s “Navaratri” that stands out. I plan to nominate it. If you want to tweak it between now and then, this is a heads up...
by BobBradshaw
27 Oct 2020, 05:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Return of the fox revised
Replies: 10
Views: 2461

Re: Return of the fox revised

It’s better

Go to advanced search