Search found 1432 matches

by BobBradshaw
23 Jan 2020, 21:58
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: In My Cell with Alicia on New Year's Eve
Replies: 3
Views: 83

Re: In My Ce

a new version, suggested by Poetema(mignon)...thx
by BobBradshaw
23 Jan 2020, 07:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Paperfall
Replies: 6
Views: 65

Re: Paperfall

Oh that's great...so happy those 2 lines were useful to you....best
by BobBradshaw
22 Jan 2020, 23:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Paperfall
Replies: 6
Views: 65

Re: Paperfall

I hope you don't mind. Seeing your lovely poem, and following up on Sachico's Cut Paper, I have written something as well on this subject....maybe down the road I'll post it, if it's okay with you. Bob
by BobBradshaw
22 Jan 2020, 21:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Paperfall
Replies: 6
Views: 65

Re: Paperfall

This is lovely, with its imagery and restraint. The quiet dignity captures the artist's work. I like it very much. I wanted a stronger closing stanza, but otherwise no criticisms, just enjoyment.
by BobBradshaw
21 Jan 2020, 22:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: In My Cell with Alicia on New Year's Eve
Replies: 3
Views: 83

In My Cell with Alicia on New Year's Eve

V2: In my Cell with Alicia on New Year's Eve I won’t drive to see you this year. Outside my window, snow flies like shredded love letters as I fold you into my arms and pray you'll never slip out of them-- here inside these walls where there's never the ringing of bells, just clanging doors V1: Anot...
by BobBradshaw
21 Jan 2020, 09:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Emily Dickinson, In Love
Replies: 8
Views: 429

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

major trim....
by BobBradshaw
21 Jan 2020, 09:00
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Black as the coal workers, the soot collects in her hair.
Replies: 4
Views: 160

Re: Black as the coal workers, the soot collects in her hair.

Plied is fine. Chug-chugging? No....maybe "opening up" the western ghats, ie. making them accessible. Or "rumbling across the western ghats"...."thundering", "steaming"
by BobBradshaw
19 Jan 2020, 23:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Follow the Poem
Replies: 4
Views: 290

Re: Follow the Poem

shortened
by BobBradshaw
19 Jan 2020, 22:33
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Black as the coal workers, the soot collects in her hair.
Replies: 4
Views: 160

Re: Black as the coal workers, the soot collects in her hair.

This is good, Siva. I like how your work your culture into your poems, sometimes in surprising ways. An example is here, in these lines: so she begged oil and the powder of green leaves ‘shikaki’to help them scrub. Some small suggestions: 1) remove "real" from S1...unnecessary 2) in S2, simplify it ...
by BobBradshaw
17 Jan 2020, 10:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Emily Dickinson, In Love
Replies: 8
Views: 429

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

Thx, Siva....the period at the end has been rolled into place. By the way, happy new year, and may you write many wonderful poems in 2020....best, Bob
by BobBradshaw
16 Jan 2020, 22:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Follow the Poem
Replies: 4
Views: 290

Re: Follow the Poem

Revised...see V2
by BobBradshaw
16 Jan 2020, 22:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Emily Dickinson, In Love
Replies: 8
Views: 429

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

I “borrowed” that image from an Emily Dickinson poem...wanted to make the poem more authentic. However, that doesn’t keep it from sounding contrived in this poem. Thx for commenting,Siva
by BobBradshaw
16 Jan 2020, 06:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Follow the Poem
Replies: 4
Views: 290

Follow the Poem

V3: Follow the Poem I am a poem for you. Believe in me as you would a valentine from a secret admirer. I will find you a love. Like a Hollywood studio I will dispatch my best talent scouts to discover her. While other couples sit across from each other at meals, heads bowed, lost in their phones as ...
by BobBradshaw
09 Jan 2020, 21:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Emily Dickinson, In Love
Replies: 8
Views: 429

Emily Dickinson, In Love

Emily Dickinson, In Love

Though never spoken of
marriage had been in the air—

as inevitable as pollen
or birdsong in mid-summer.

Imagine when she heard—
Henry—engaged—

her heart's chandelier--
wrecked on the heart's floor.
by BobBradshaw
06 Jan 2020, 23:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: It Is About Algi
Replies: 2
Views: 354

Re: It Is About Algi

Good poem....Don't wince, but I have some very minor suggestions. I would cut the first stanza, and change the first line of S2 to read "Every Sunday, my chef Algi", moving "has" to the next line. On S3 change the last line to "totaling their costs"....one action instead of 2 actions(segregating and...
by BobBradshaw
05 Jan 2020, 21:30
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Escape from Routine
Replies: 5
Views: 1162

Re: Escape from Routine

Eira, your poem is nominated for the IBPC. Can you post it? Thx
by BobBradshaw
04 Jan 2020, 20:41
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 872

Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:

"Escape from Routine", if I had to choose
by BobBradshaw
04 Jan 2020, 00:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Marakuli
Replies: 6
Views: 1387

Re: Marakuli

Your poem is nominated
by BobBradshaw
02 Jan 2020, 21:31
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 872

Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:

Thanks, Michael Bob Bradshaw bobbybradshw@yahoo.com the poem is my original and unpublished work and I don't have a poem committed to represent another board in the current IBPC. The Moon Walk It’s nearly another anniversary of the day Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin bounced across a powdery surface,...
by BobBradshaw
31 Dec 2019, 21:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Wishing All A Happy 2020
Replies: 1
Views: 447

Re: Wishing All A Happy 2020

That's sweet, meenas. Happy New Year to you and the rest of WB as well!
by BobBradshaw
30 Dec 2019, 21:49
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 872

Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:

I nominate Siva's "Marakuli", Eira's "Escape from Routine" and Meenas' "A Manoeuvre"..... Michael, happy new year...may it be fun and filled with good writing....
by BobBradshaw
30 Dec 2019, 21:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Eyes Grow Yellow
Replies: 3
Views: 573

Re: My Eyes Grow Yellow

Ok.....but first let me wish you a Happy New Year, and many glorious poems in 2020
by BobBradshaw
29 Dec 2019, 23:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Eyes Grow Yellow
Replies: 3
Views: 573

Re: My Eyes Grow Yellow

This is a terrific subject..."an ordinary woman" comparing herself to her beloved mom. You do a good job, but again compressing the poem will improve it. I've tried to come up with an example. I rush off to school, juggling awkward books, always stooping to pick one up, as Mom, dressed in a pretty s...

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