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by BobBradshaw
09 Nov 2019, 03:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Walt Whitman, 1863
Replies: 7
Views: 341

Re: Walt Whitman, 1863

Thanks, Meenas, for your POV. I appreciate it.
by BobBradshaw
09 Nov 2019, 03:33
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Walt Whitman, 1863
Replies: 7
Views: 341

Re: Walt Whitman, 1863

Judy, thx to your encouragement I have shortened the poem a bit. Thank you
by BobBradshaw
09 Nov 2019, 03:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Walt Whitman, 1863
Replies: 7
Views: 341

Re: Walt Whitman, 1863

Judy, I disagree about those lines being confusing. But I appreciate your taking so much time to look at this poem. I value your input.
by BobBradshaw
08 Nov 2019, 07:36
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Walt Whitman, 1863
Replies: 7
Views: 341

Re: Walt Whitman, 1863

You make interesting points, Judy. Perhaps I should start the poem with the third stanza....and tweak the title accordingly
by BobBradshaw
07 Nov 2019, 05:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Walt Whitman, 1863
Replies: 7
Views: 341

Walt Whitman, 1863

V2: Walt Whitman, 1863 He was frequently asked by wounded and dying soldiers to write home for them, or to seek out their friends. Often the "men", many teenagers, were out of their heads— dreams and waking mixed like fog and smoke. One legless soldier kept calling Walt his sister. Walt held his han...
by BobBradshaw
06 Nov 2019, 09:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 599

Re: Manifesto

This is a poetry workshop, a forum where we help each other improve our craft. It isn't a forum on faith, personal religious beliefs or non-beliefs. Tolerance of others' beliefs(or non-beliefs) is a low threshold we should all be able to meet. Personally I don't care if a poem is about religious fai...
by BobBradshaw
01 Nov 2019, 02:09
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: IBPC Poems of the Year May 2018 April 2019 (Congrats Bob)
Replies: 2
Views: 316

Re: IBPC Poems of the Year May 2018 April 2019 (Congrats Bob)

Thx, Ken....”Radium Girls” is splendid...and at least equally good
by BobBradshaw
31 Oct 2019, 21:58
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:
Replies: 18
Views: 1455

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:

Thank you, guys. bobbybradshw@yahoo.com This is my original poem, and it hasn't been published anywhere. Neither is it at any other forum. Red Spider Lilies Spider lilies line our garden path, like a crowd carrying red candles. It's said they guide the dead to their afterlife. We strode this same wa...
by BobBradshaw
31 Oct 2019, 00:36
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Honor and Obey
Replies: 3
Views: 656

Re: Honor and Obey

Good slice of life but I would cut this... unnecessary

I promise we'll come right home."
I said no.
by BobBradshaw
30 Oct 2019, 00:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Flight
Replies: 9
Views: 952

Re: Flight

A poem isn't meant to be a hoarder's collection. But details can be revealing, and allow the reader to immerse herself into the poem, to feel more of a connection. Irrelevant details obviously aren't what we are talking about. This is a nice poem....but a detail or two, even a right adjective, could...
by BobBradshaw
29 Oct 2019, 23:12
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:
Replies: 18
Views: 1455

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:

I second Judy's "Across the River".
by BobBradshaw
29 Oct 2019, 23:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Flight
Replies: 9
Views: 952

Re: Flight

I agree...the best line is "the weather brewing in your eyes"....a good premise, yes, and one which could be expanded on...adding some details to the breakfast cooling on the table, for example. As always, I like your conversational voice. It carries me along so easily.
by BobBradshaw
29 Oct 2019, 21:37
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Red Spider Lilies
Replies: 4
Views: 676

Re: Red Spider Lilies

Thank you, guys....
by BobBradshaw
29 Oct 2019, 20:56
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:
Replies: 18
Views: 1455

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:

Ken's "Planters Moon"
Billy's "I Could Only Write This Today"
Siva's "Big House"
by BobBradshaw
28 Oct 2019, 09:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Red Spider Lilies
Replies: 4
Views: 676

Red Spider Lilies

Red Spider Lilies Spider lilies line our garden path, like a crowd carrying red candles. It's said they guide the dead to their afterlife. We strode this same walkway, hands laced together. Under August nights, we shared moon cakes and Li Bo's poems... By fall you had dropped your hand for the last ...
by BobBradshaw
26 Oct 2019, 20:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Wild Palms
Replies: 7
Views: 1034

Re: The Wild Palms

I like the world weary tone and ending. And I like these lines especially....feathers of the least little ones...is there a reference here? I don't know it.

The water's rising, the banks

are overflowing. Hallelujah!
by BobBradshaw
26 Oct 2019, 08:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Big House at Mambalam
Replies: 13
Views: 1141

Re: The Big House at Mambalam

Great details...I could quote from anywhere... one of your finest
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 23:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Planters Moon
Replies: 7
Views: 854

Re: Planters Moon

What a wonderful bleak poem! Love the imagery, the topknot, the drunken sky, etc. Terrific close after setting it up with the farmer who has lost his wife and children....
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 23:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Joseph Haydn
Replies: 8
Views: 725

Re: Joseph Haydn

No, either one is fine. Thank you, Ken....
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 20:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Sparrow Found (1917) - V2
Replies: 5
Views: 783

Re: A Sparrow Found (1917)

Yes, quite good. I would cut the "divine sound...." line. A well developed mood piece....
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 08:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Joseph Haydn
Replies: 8
Views: 725

Re: Joseph Haydn

Thanks, Billy....you're right.
Judy, thank you too. I've taken up one of your suggestions: "After all, one must eat."
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 08:54
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: I Could Only Write This Today
Replies: 10
Views: 1176

Re: I Could Only Write This Today

Terrific poem, Billy....kudos
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 04:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Across The River
Replies: 10
Views: 1135

Re: Across The River

Good one...what Ken said

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