New York Pitch Conferences and Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, Poetry and Authors

Perhaps what has been lost is the contrast in the two worlds colliding, which you hinted at in v1. So after the Horne stanza, contrast the couple: for example, the girl’s history like Lena’s skin, almost flawless, the guy’s past a rap sheet thicker than the Gospel... or a bookie’s journal... you get...

The never mind and they say don’t work as well as some of the writing in the first version.... maybe replace the 3rd stanza with this from earlier? Seventeen horns and a rhythm section, Lena Horne could almost pass when back-lit. Also, “universe” ... would “world” work better, along with tweaking th...

Thanks, Michael, for the options...best, Bob

Really like this... I like both versions... love this image

It's early and the joint is
quiet as a paid- off cop.

Nitpick: in the last stanza the tense changes from present to past

Ken, Frank — thank you

Love's Arrival Our mothers and grandparents admired this same dusting of stars... I slip my palm into your hand. Somewhere a spaceship from an outer pocket of the universe is speeding towards us with another couple in love. Like us they will face minor problems, too. Maybe their luggage will be lost...

I agree... an excellent subject for a poem, and one that is handled well with gentleness and subtlety.

It’s a good poem, Ken. Just not as powerful as some of your gems.... your bar is set so high

The last line is much better

Thanks, Frank...I like how you have thought this out

Thx for the explanation....Bob

I like this, the reefer odor mixing with the Pomade, and especially the last stanza. My first thought when reading this was that it was a bit too generic, and maybe it is. But it is good. A keeper. What I would also like to see is a second poem that zooms in, immerses me in a specific moment. Instea...

We can't praise that generation enough...they saved Europe. Out of curiosity, who publishes found / erasure poems? Personally, I don't get the attraction, but I have never been a big fan of collage either. Or Slam Poetry for that matter. But that's me. And it isn't a criticism of you or anyone else ...

I like the last 2 stanzas best... especially the smoldering boots. I am not sure how the ants image relates, or what it’s trying to tell me. Maybe it’s me.

Pretty well done exercise.... the ending needs to be stronger, the history written in blood too common.... just curious, why are you doing this type of exercise? You have a good, imaginative voice which interests me more

I just listened to this song, Frank, on Youtube... enjoyed... thx for mentioning it

This is hilarious.... love the narrator’s voice... stellar from top to bottom

This is my original work, and I’m not posting at another forum. Bob Bradshaw bobbybradshw@yahoo.com La Brea Tar Pits I came to Los Angeles for the Strip, the nightclubs, the famous restaurants where celebrities gather, picking at their salads, and sipping wines that would cost me a year’s rent. In t...

I don’t know this song but thx. for sharing it....I. Will look it up

Thanks, guys... I accept the nom for La Brea if chosen

Meenas, Ken —. Glad you enjoyed it

What a fascinating take...I take the mice to be memories, and associated with the phantom that shares the N’s bed— the phantom someone once close to the speaker. Fresh imagery as well as a fresh way to tell a familiar story... very creative. A big thumb’s up. I like the sinister turn at the end, the...

I second Meenas' "The Smuggling Experience"

I nom Kenneth’s “Jesus Was” poem and Frank’s “Vir Triumphalis” poem. I am still pondering a third nom.

The Worst Things About You The worst things about you? You love babies and huskies, dalmatians, wiener dogs, anything attached to a lovely woman with thin wrists, and you love the best restaurants, the waiters bringing you vintage wines as if you were the food critic for the New York Times while we ...