Search found 257 matches

by capricorn
22 Jul 2019, 02:54
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Owl and the Blackbird
Replies: 4
Views: 103

The Owl and the Blackbird

The Owl and the Blackbird It’s barely light when he stirs joining the avian choir. I cringe to hear his flutelike trill, listen as he scuttles about. Pulling our feather duvet up over my head, I squint out, see him strut, fully feathered, crest still in disarray. He zooms away, so I doze until he fl...
by capricorn
22 Jul 2019, 02:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: It’ll Grow Back
Replies: 5
Views: 276

Re: It’ll Grow Back

Clever poem, Billy. Really enjoyed.
Eira
by capricorn
22 Jul 2019, 02:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Partnering
Replies: 7
Views: 148

Re: Mating Flamingos

What a beautiful poem, Bob. I loved it from the start.

Dressed in tutus
of sumptuous oranges,
reds and pinks, the ladies
pose en pointe à la pirouette
as if photographers


What gorgeous imagery!

I can offer no suggestions better than Michael offered.

Eira
by capricorn
19 Jul 2019, 22:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Patches Revenge
Replies: 2
Views: 631

Re: Patches Revenge

FranktheFrank wrote:
29 Jun 2019, 01:28
Eria
I prefer this to all that have gone before.
A pal is constantly reminding me of the power of first drafts.
I think I'll nominate this.
Thanks for the nom Frank, but I knew I'd posted too late. Glad you liked it.

Eira
by capricorn
19 Jul 2019, 22:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Church of Pain V2
Replies: 7
Views: 244

Re: Church of Pain

Some good lines Kenneth. I don't think this has failed, just needs a bit of work.
Eira
by capricorn
19 Jul 2019, 22:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Kadaneri Ayyanar
Replies: 6
Views: 148

Re: Kadaneri Ayyanar

You have the bones of a good poem here, Meena, but as Bob says it needs a good trim back.
I too like these lines

Residing in a small temple
in the middle of sparse
vegetation where Banyan
and Palmyrah trees
render life

I look forward to any revisions you make.
Eira
by capricorn
29 Jun 2019, 00:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Patches Revenge
Replies: 2
Views: 631

Patches Revenge

Patches Revenge Dozing, I slip into vivid reverie, see him chase the cat that slept across Sheba’s resting place beneath the Braeburn tree. At breakfast I announce I’ve had a premonition; one day we’ll have a Dalmatian to chase away the cats. Oh yes! My family laugh. Four years elapse; I miss canine...
by capricorn
29 Jun 2019, 00:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"
Replies: 25
Views: 2872

Re: "Newlyweds Start Their Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"

Really like this poem, Siva and your revision has improved it well.
Eira
by capricorn
29 Jun 2019, 00:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "getting antique"   (a diptych)
Replies: 20
Views: 2025

Re: "getting antique"   (a diptych)

Love this poem, Michael and the use of 'antique'

You're certainly not old, but in my experience, once a person gets to 60, they begin to think more about aging.
Eira
by capricorn
29 Jun 2019, 00:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Lot’s Wife
Replies: 8
Views: 1608

Re: Lot’s Wife

Very nicely done, Billy. Good luck with your book of poems!

Eira
by capricorn
03 Jun 2019, 03:28
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2019:
Replies: 17
Views: 1881

Re: Upcoming June IBPC 2019:

Eira Needham presentideaseira@hotmail.com This is my original unpublished work not representing any other board. My Mother's Flashbacks I saw your father last night Two years have passed since his demise shook me, waves radiating from my epicentre. In the aftershock, I whispered to her of his slippi...
by capricorn
03 Jun 2019, 03:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 2254

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

Thanks Michael - that's a big help.

Eira
by capricorn
01 Jun 2019, 14:31
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2019:
Replies: 17
Views: 1881

Re: Upcoming June IBPC 2019:

Thanks Michael & Frank. I can accept the nom ' My Mother's Flashbacks' if chosen.

I second Bob's La Brea and Frank's Vir Triumphalis.

Sorry I'm not here much these days - house renovations take a lot of organizing! :roll:

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Eunuch. Revised
Replies: 11
Views: 2367

Re: The Eunuch. Revised

This is a winner, Ken. Great revision.

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Smuggling Experience
Replies: 5
Views: 1260

Re: The Smuggling Experience

Wow Meena! This had me sitting on the edge of my chair from beginning to end - and what a fantastic end. Most Unexpected. I really enjoyed this.

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 2254

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

This is a poem whose power is muted, yet evident through the use of good poetics. I have one nit Two years have passed since his demise shook me, waves radiating from my epicentre. In the aftershock, I think this earthquakes analogy doesn't fit with the balance of the poem and is stale by compariso...
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 2254

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

Michael (MV) wrote:
22 May 2019, 04:08
empathy in the flashback

the italicized infrastructure is seamless and emotionally fracturing

like a split (divorced) screen

technique effectively in service to the familia trauma



8)

Michael (MV)
Thanks Michael,

I'm glad the italicized words work for you.

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 2254

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

BobBradshaw wrote:
21 May 2019, 20:25
Gorgeous writing....everything works ....great last 2 lines

unaware the broken butterfly would
not settle on her breast again.
Thanks Bob - your opinion means a lot to me.

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:41
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 2254

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

meenas17 wrote:
21 May 2019, 17:53
The poem is an echo of the hurt.
The one liners enhance the pathos.
The love, for the man who divorced her and married another, is well portrayed.
I did feel the hurt and suffering your mom had.
Emotional!
Thanks Meena - I'm glad this worked for you.

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 2254

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

Well Writer Block is on a roll this month some marvellous poems from all members. This has lots of ambition to winkle out every nuance of meaning and feeling in this tale of infidelity and the pain to those closest. No nits, although I wonder if you really need 'shook me' in L2 I Like the implied c...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 2254

My Mother's Flashbacks

Flashbacks I saw your father last night Two years have passed since his demise shook me, waves radiating from my epicentre. In the aftershock, I whispered to her of his slipping away, but she was lost in a mass of tangles. Aw - he looked so handsome He wore a flat cap in winter to warm his shiny pat...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 6
Views: 1698

Re: haiku

Wow, Billy! These are wonderful. A train of kissing haiku.

There is so much to take in here, I'll have to read again.

Eira
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Moonlit Garden
Replies: 5
Views: 1204

Re: Moonlit Garden

Love this one Meena - you are on a roll! A few thoughts below. I Am in a buffet, laid out in a garden. a pond besides the stars twinkle. The moon is full. Walks with me towards the table lights up [a] rows of dishes exotic and delicious. Salads, rice, roti, potato fries, soup, and many more. Veggie...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 1663

Re: untitled senryu

  Hi Eira, Wow Michael, you have given me so much to think on here (which I like!) I have always has a fascination for haiku/senryu but never do very well at writing.   a 3-line micro-form; that 3rd line crowds the senryu - and, too, there is that abstraction "joy" if filtering for a senryu, consid...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 01:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 1663

Re: untitled senryu

BobBradshaw wrote:
17 May 2019, 20:03
Nice
Thanks Bob

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