Search found 333 matches

by capricorn
05 Mar 2020, 03:11
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
Replies: 9
Views: 9427

Re: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:

Thanks Michael Eira Needham presentideaseira@hotmail.com This is my original, unpublished work, not representing any other forum. Found You Again on Facebook That college disco, the group sang Let’s Dance . A feather-touch on my shoulder and husky whisper ‘Dance with me?’ He was a sandy haired Paul ...
by capricorn
04 Mar 2020, 20:52
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
Replies: 9
Views: 9427

Re: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:

Thanks for the nom, Bob. I can accept.

I second Siva's 'Paperfall' and nominate Bob's 'Laika' and Bob's 'Man on the Moon'(can't chose between them :D )

Eira
by capricorn
20 Feb 2020, 01:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 14123

Re: Found you Again on Facebook (revision)

KolaKubes wrote:
17 Feb 2020, 16:34
The soundtrack goes so well with the poem. It's like it was meant to be.
Thank you KolaKubes and welcome to Writers Block. I have added a few more songs to the poem, hoping they go well too.
I hope you may post one of your poems soon - look forward to it.

Eira
by capricorn
20 Feb 2020, 01:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 14123

Re: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)

Thanks for sharing that Michael.
Eira
by capricorn
20 Feb 2020, 01:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 14123

Re: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)

Thanks for your suggestions, Bob. I've made some changes.

Eira
by capricorn
20 Feb 2020, 01:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Man on Moon
Replies: 8
Views: 7294

Re: Man on Moon

Thumbs up to discovered at the end - share would have a different intent.
Eira
by capricorn
15 Feb 2020, 23:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 14123

Re: Found you Again on Facebook (revision)

I just found the original of this under a different name. It was a very detailed poem but I've included some of the details in this version as I felt it needed filling out a bit.
by capricorn
15 Feb 2020, 23:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur
Replies: 4
Views: 5443

Re: Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur

Bob has given some great suggestions here, Siva. I look forward to your revision. I like this very much.

Eira
by capricorn
15 Feb 2020, 23:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nestling (rev2)
Replies: 9
Views: 8016

Re: The Nestling (rev2)

SivaRamanathan wrote:
02 Feb 2020, 20:43
Eira

I seconded.I thought it was understood. Wish you all the best.Though I did not comment I have been following your revisions,which is a good exercise.

Siva
No problem Siva - I just didn't want to break any rules :D

Eira
by capricorn
15 Feb 2020, 23:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Laika
Replies: 4
Views: 6372

Re: Laika, First Dog on Space

As a dog lover I was very moved by this, Bob. I'm surprised I hadn't given the situation more thought before. As humans we have a choice in what we do, but not so animals. The only suggestion I can make is 'my heart shaking '. Is this the right description? On feeling apprehensive I would think a he...
by capricorn
02 Feb 2020, 02:45
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Replies: 14
Views: 11133

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:

This hasn't been seconded but Bob said I should post it here - so here goes! Eira Needham presentideaseira@hotmail.com My original and unpublished work, not representing any other board. The Nestling Hunched over the breathless body tumbled from its sycamore cradle, her mind takes flight. He arrived...
by capricorn
02 Feb 2020, 02:37
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nestling (rev2)
Replies: 9
Views: 8016

Re: The Nestling (rev2)

BobBradshaw wrote:
01 Feb 2020, 22:53
Eira, you need to post this on the nomination page for ibpc
Thanks Bob, I didn't realise it had been seconded
by capricorn
31 Jan 2020, 02:58
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Replies: 14
Views: 11133

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:

Thanks Bob

I second Siva's 'Black as the coal workers and nominate Bob's 'Sleeping on a Roof'

Eira'
by capricorn
29 Jan 2020, 03:40
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sleeping on a Roof
Replies: 10
Views: 7427

Re: Sleeping on a Roof

I'd like to nominate this one, Bob, unless there is another you'd prefer to go.

Eira
by capricorn
29 Jan 2020, 03:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nestling (rev2)
Replies: 9
Views: 8016

Re: The Nestling

Eira, let me know whether you would like this poem or the Christmas poem nominated.... Thanks Bob. My Christmas poem went in November (although it has been revised recently) I think I'll hold onto it and send it off somewhere nearer next Xmas. This poem would be better. I have been looking at it ag...
by capricorn
27 Jan 2020, 03:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nestling (rev2)
Replies: 9
Views: 8016

Re: The Nestling

BobBradshaw wrote:
26 Jan 2020, 10:22
I like the metaphor. This poignant and unusual story works....nit: I don't know if you need entwined and wrapped both.
Good catch, Bob, I have rearranged those 2 stanzas which seems to help.

Eira
by capricorn
27 Jan 2020, 03:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sleeping on a Roof
Replies: 10
Views: 7427

Re: Sleeping on a Roof

Perfect!
by capricorn
26 Jan 2020, 03:59
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Christmas Remembrance (revision 3)
Replies: 13
Views: 10087

Re: Christmas Remembrance (revision 3)

I couldn't resist another revision
by capricorn
26 Jan 2020, 03:58
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nestling (rev2)
Replies: 9
Views: 8016

The Nestling (rev2)

The Nestling (revision 2) Hunched over the breathless body tumbled from its sycamore cradle, her mind takes flight. He arrived quietly, entwined. Voices hushed, they rushed him away in a hospital blanket. One glimpse no caress no goodbye The attic keeps her secret for forty years, a white shawl fold...
by capricorn
26 Jan 2020, 02:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Black as the coal workers, soot collects in her hair.
Replies: 8
Views: 7150

Re: Black as the coal workers, the soot collects in her hair.

Great revision, Siva and a fascinating poem.

I love 'the rain coughed' - such a good description.

'I saw my tiny grandchild praying to the iron box.' makes the poem so personal.

Good ending.
Eira
by capricorn
26 Jan 2020, 01:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sleeping on a Roof
Replies: 10
Views: 7427

Re: Sleeping on a Roof

Hi Bob, Brilliant poem - unusual topic. I feel it might need a little trim in parts - a few suggestions below (only if they suit your intentions.) She brought me home from a reading, saying no poet should sleep so rough then [she] trimmed my long hair, [her] scissors striding expertly. Personally, ...
by capricorn
05 Jan 2020, 23:36
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Escape from Routine
Replies: 5
Views: 4792

Re: Escape from Routine

Thanks Bob!
by capricorn
05 Jan 2020, 23:35
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 11437

Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:

Thanks Bob & Michael. This is my unpublished poem; my email is presentideaseira@hotmail.com. I am not representing any other forum. Escape from routine Rhythmically humming, the washer tumbles dolphin towels with multicoloured swimwear. On top, a plastic pail of gulfweed gathered for grandma’s achin...
by capricorn
31 Dec 2019, 04:11
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 11437

Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:

Bob's 'Coming Back' and Siva's 'Marakuli'. I am still considering a third.

Eira
by capricorn
27 Dec 2019, 03:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Coming Back
Replies: 16
Views: 9648

Re: Chicken Soup In Times of Disaster

Hi Bob, I'm never too clever with titles. If you keep the present one, then a question mark at the end. Is There A Chicken Soup That Can Save Me? Now you mention it, I think st 1&2 could be deleted - stanza 2 certainly could. I still like St 1, but this could be trimmed back to I have become a strip...

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