Search found 247 matches

by capricorn
03 Jun 2019, 03:28
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2019:
Replies: 17
Views: 875

Re: Upcoming June IBPC 2019:

Eira Needham presentideaseira@hotmail.com This is my original unpublished work not representing any other board. My Mother's Flashbacks I saw your father last night Two years have passed since his demise shook me, waves radiating from my epicentre. In the aftershock, I whispered to her of his slippi...
by capricorn
03 Jun 2019, 03:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 1517

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

Thanks Michael - that's a big help.

Eira
by capricorn
01 Jun 2019, 14:31
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2019:
Replies: 17
Views: 875

Re: Upcoming June IBPC 2019:

Thanks Michael & Frank. I can accept the nom ' My Mother's Flashbacks' if chosen.

I second Bob's La Brea and Frank's Vir Triumphalis.

Sorry I'm not here much these days - house renovations take a lot of organizing! :roll:

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Eunuch. Revised
Replies: 11
Views: 1564

Re: The Eunuch. Revised

This is a winner, Ken. Great revision.

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Smuggling Experience
Replies: 5
Views: 849

Re: The Smuggling Experience

Wow Meena! This had me sitting on the edge of my chair from beginning to end - and what a fantastic end. Most Unexpected. I really enjoyed this.

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 1517

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

This is a poem whose power is muted, yet evident through the use of good poetics. I have one nit Two years have passed since his demise shook me, waves radiating from my epicentre. In the aftershock, I think this earthquakes analogy doesn't fit with the balance of the poem and is stale by compariso...
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 1517

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

Michael (MV) wrote:
22 May 2019, 04:08
empathy in the flashback

the italicized infrastructure is seamless and emotionally fracturing

like a split (divorced) screen

technique effectively in service to the familia trauma



8)

Michael (MV)
Thanks Michael,

I'm glad the italicized words work for you.

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 1517

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

BobBradshaw wrote:
21 May 2019, 20:25
Gorgeous writing....everything works ....great last 2 lines

unaware the broken butterfly would
not settle on her breast again.
Thanks Bob - your opinion means a lot to me.

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:41
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 1517

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

meenas17 wrote:
21 May 2019, 17:53
The poem is an echo of the hurt.
The one liners enhance the pathos.
The love, for the man who divorced her and married another, is well portrayed.
I did feel the hurt and suffering your mom had.
Emotional!
Thanks Meena - I'm glad this worked for you.

Eira
by capricorn
28 May 2019, 02:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 1517

Re: My Mother's Flashbacks

Well Writer Block is on a roll this month some marvellous poems from all members. This has lots of ambition to winkle out every nuance of meaning and feeling in this tale of infidelity and the pain to those closest. No nits, although I wonder if you really need 'shook me' in L2 I Like the implied c...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 13
Views: 1517

My Mother's Flashbacks

Flashbacks I saw your father last night Two years have passed since his demise shook me, waves radiating from my epicentre. In the aftershock, I whispered to her of his slipping away, but she was lost in a mass of tangles. Aw - he looked so handsome He wore a flat cap in winter to warm his shiny pat...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 6
Views: 1206

Re: haiku

Wow, Billy! These are wonderful. A train of kissing haiku.

There is so much to take in here, I'll have to read again.

Eira
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Moonlit Garden
Replies: 5
Views: 829

Re: Moonlit Garden

Love this one Meena - you are on a roll! A few thoughts below. I Am in a buffet, laid out in a garden. a pond besides the stars twinkle. The moon is full. Walks with me towards the table lights up [a] rows of dishes exotic and delicious. Salads, rice, roti, potato fries, soup, and many more. Veggie...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 1163

Re: untitled senryu

  Hi Eira, Wow Michael, you have given me so much to think on here (which I like!) I have always has a fascination for haiku/senryu but never do very well at writing.   a 3-line micro-form; that 3rd line crowds the senryu - and, too, there is that abstraction "joy" if filtering for a senryu, consid...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 01:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 1163

Re: untitled senryu

BobBradshaw wrote:
17 May 2019, 20:03
Nice
Thanks Bob
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 01:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 1163

Re: untitled senryu

FranktheFrank wrote:
17 May 2019, 18:31
Very nice
should it be:
Father unaware.
Not sure, Frank - possibly Father is unaware
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 01:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 1163

Re: untitled senryu

SivaRamanathan wrote:
17 May 2019, 18:03
Love this!
Thank you Siva
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 01:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 1163

Re: untitled senryu

meenas17 wrote:
17 May 2019, 16:16
Classic! Eira.
Thank you Meena
by capricorn
17 May 2019, 16:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 1163

untitled senryu

the test-tube baby
brings a mother untold joy;
father's unaware
by capricorn
17 May 2019, 16:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Path I Traverse
Replies: 3
Views: 611

Re: The Path I Traverse

An interesting poem, Meena, making me aware that everyone is different. I Love this description - especially L3.

Books,trading
and family pull
the threads along the folds
I succumb and survive.

Eira
by capricorn
17 May 2019, 15:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Haiku - Bulimia Nervosa
Replies: 8
Views: 994

Re: Haiku - Bulimia Nervosa

A great mini poem, Ken although I agree with Michael about it not being a haiku because of the use of simile. Good read all the same.

Eira
by capricorn
17 May 2019, 15:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Splinter In Your Palm
Replies: 5
Views: 1302

Re: Splinter In Your Palm

I like this very much, Bob. It's different. Your first line really drew me in. I love the metaphors and occasional inner rhyme and the way the story unfolds. The ending is brilliant I am also smoke from a fire you can't put out, sometimes a wisp of smoke as subtle as the perfume you don’t quite wash...
by capricorn
20 Apr 2019, 19:43
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Belated April IBPC 2019 thread:
Replies: 22
Views: 2514

Re: Belated April IBPC 2019 thread:

So glad you were able to do this for April, Michael. I wanted to nominate Frank's 'Rosebud' (although as the revision was done in April it could go later) I second Bob's 'Salmon Run' and Ken's Butterfly effect Letter' As mine has been seconded here are the details if chosen. presentideaseira@hotmail...
by capricorn
20 Apr 2019, 19:14
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: waited until International Haiku Poetry Day to share this good news:
Replies: 3
Views: 898

Re: waited until International Haiku Poetry Day to share this good news:

Well done Michael! I have a fascination for haiku/senryu. Perhaps I'll post some to get some expert help. :D
Eira
by capricorn
05 Apr 2019, 15:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Innocence Lost
Replies: 24
Views: 4025

Re: 'Rosebud' - Citizen Kane [edit 2 formerly No Voice]

I like your revision Frank and the change to 'bewildered' at the end - I think that word sums it all up very well.

I would nominate this, but notice there is no thread for this month??

Eira

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