Search found 382 matches

by capricorn
15 Apr 2023, 04:02
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Cave Canem revised
Replies: 3
Views: 2126

Re: Cave Canem revised

I agree with Frank's comments, there is so much to like about this poem. I feel st1 could read a little smoother though - the fist couple of lines read a bit jerky and there areb2 of's in line 2. Perhaps something like - Outside his Pompeii house the tragic poet has a mosaic to greet visitors - Cave...
by capricorn
15 Apr 2023, 03:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: the alligator sleeps
Replies: 7
Views: 3865

Re: the alligator sleeps

a really interesting read - I love the ending - thought provoking.

Eira
by capricorn
15 Apr 2023, 03:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Iron Ore Miner (1841) -Final edit
Replies: 7
Views: 3334

Re: Iron Ore Miner (1841)

Wow Frank, this poem is awesome. You have obviously put a lot of work into writing it. Fingers crossed you'll get it published soon, you really deserve it.

Eira
by capricorn
14 Jul 2022, 00:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: I Hesitated Too Long, My Lips Just Beginning to Pucker When She Opened Her Eyes
Replies: 6
Views: 4529

Re: I Hesitated Too Long, My Lips Just Beginning to Pucker When She Opened Her Eyes

I agree with Ken - you have pathos and humour here. I enjoyed the read.

The long title could almost be the 1st stanza - or perhaps a short title and 1st stanza.

I Hesitated

too long, my lips just
beginning to pucker when
she opened her eyes.

Just a thought
Eira
by capricorn
13 Jul 2022, 23:52
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming July IBPC 2022:
Replies: 18
Views: 10358

Re: The 3 were launched the afternoon of Wednesday July 6th

  Hi Eira, Long narrative in short form: Fortunately, my itinerary was modified Tuesday afternoon, starting with a phone call from the doctor, as I was leaving the drive from home. Thus, it became Wednesday afternoon before I launched the 3 to the finals. Good Luck to the Writer's Block 8) Michael ...
by capricorn
06 Jul 2022, 20:25
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming July IBPC 2022:
Replies: 18
Views: 10358

Re: Upcoming July IBPC 2022:

So glad you are ok Michael.

Just noticed that I accidentally missed out St4 from my poem which was quite an important verse. I have added it in now but think I am too late - you must have sent them off by now? :( I suppose there's no chance to change it now?

Eira
by capricorn
05 Jul 2022, 00:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Old Armchair
Replies: 4
Views: 3819

Re: The Old Armchair

Thanks Frank
by capricorn
05 Jul 2022, 00:07
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming July IBPC 2022:
Replies: 18
Views: 10358

Re: Upcoming July IBPC 2022:

Best wishes for Thurs/Fri Michael. My thoughts will be with you.

Eira
by capricorn
05 Jul 2022, 00:04
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming July IBPC 2022:
Replies: 18
Views: 10358

Re: Upcoming July IBPC 2022:

Eira Needham presentideaseira@hotmail.com This is my original and unpublished work and I am not representing another board Old Armchair Leaving the mizzle I turn Mam’s front door key into emptiness - step into her parlour, gold velour drapes the window bay; keepsakes scatter any gloom and past guest...
by capricorn
02 Jul 2022, 23:58
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Old Armchair
Replies: 4
Views: 3819

Re: The Old Armchair

Thanks Bob
by capricorn
02 Jul 2022, 23:56
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: No Curtain Call
Replies: 4
Views: 3760

Re: No Curtain Call

I like this one, Frank. Seconded.

Eira
by capricorn
02 Jul 2022, 23:56
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: No Curtain Call
Replies: 4
Views: 3760

Re: No Curtain Call

I like this one, Frank. Seconded.

Eira
by capricorn
02 Jul 2022, 23:55
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming July IBPC 2022:
Replies: 18
Views: 10358

Re: Upcoming July IBPC 2022:

Thanks for the nom Bob & Ken.

I second Bob's LiPo Adrift
and Franks No Curtain Call

Eira
by capricorn
01 Jul 2022, 00:02
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Old Armchair
Replies: 4
Views: 3819

The Old Armchair

I think this was the first poem I posted at WB and I've been working on it again. The Old Armchair Leaving the mizzle I turn Mam’s front door key into emptiness - step into her parlour, gold velour draping the window bay; keepsakes scatter any gloom and past guests brush by for tea and cakes, gossip...
by capricorn
30 Jun 2022, 23:40
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Owl and the Blackbird (revision 1)
Replies: 14
Views: 22730

Re: The Owl and the Blackbird (revision 1)

Thanks Bob & Frank, I had great fun writing this (and revising). I love birds. We don't live in the countryside, but have so many come into our garden - besides blackbirds we see pigeons, magpies, ravens, thrushes, sparrows, gulls blue tits and a robin ... and occasionally a heron (looking to see if...
by capricorn
30 Jun 2022, 23:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Rhetorical Regarding Engineering
Replies: 6
Views: 4368

Re: Rhetorical Regarding Engineering

Bob makes some good suggestions, Frank. This is a mammoth piece - I feel you should concentrate on one section at a time. It's amazing you wrote it in 20 mins.

Eira
by capricorn
30 Jun 2022, 23:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Letter from Arles
Replies: 15
Views: 8186

Re: Letter from Arles

BobBradshaw wrote:
29 Jun 2022, 04:56
Thanks, Eira. Good point. I have changed the stanza to;

I sense there are more storms
flashing knives
lined up off the coast.
There will be shorter
Yes Bob - that is brilliant now.

Eira
by capricorn
29 Jun 2022, 03:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Owl and the Blackbird (revision 1)
Replies: 14
Views: 22730

Re: The Owl and the Blackbird (revision 1)

I thought it was time to post something again.

My muse has gone! I've decided to revisit old poems to give them an overhaul. Although this poem was ok I thought I'd rewrite with a different slant.
It's got my brain thinking!

Eira
by capricorn
29 Jun 2022, 03:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Indian Pipe
Replies: 4
Views: 3947

Re: Indian Pipe

Amazing poem, Ken. I love the metaphor.

Legend says the plant emerges
only where there is discord or
sadness among family and friends,

Fascinating details. Really enjoyed reading this.

Eira
by capricorn
29 Jun 2022, 03:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Letter from Arles
Replies: 15
Views: 8186

Re: Letter from Arles

Hi Bob, A very moving poem, the last stanza is so sad. On first read I can see nothing to change only perhaps this stanza I sense there are more storms lined up as far as the eyes can see off the coast. Perhaps for conciseness I sense more storms are lined up as far as eyes can see also is 'as far a...
by capricorn
29 Jun 2022, 03:06
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Rhetorical Regarding Engineering
Replies: 6
Views: 4368

Re: Rhetorical Regarding Engineering

Wow! Frank.

This is amazing and must have taken ages to write. I suppose it is more like prose. I agree with Bob about trimming back it will make it more accessible to the reader.

Eira
by capricorn
11 Jun 2022, 19:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Kate, Visiting a Friend During Mating Season on her Ostrich Ranch
Replies: 7
Views: 5265

Re: Kate, Visiting a Friend During Mating Season on her Ostrich Ranch

This made me smile, Bob as I saw something on TV recently about ostrich's mating and their elaborate foreplay. I really enjoyed the details and the humour.
Eira
by capricorn
11 Jun 2022, 19:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Red Garden
Replies: 7
Views: 5298

Re: The Red Garden

Well written, Ken and very thought provoking.
Eira
by capricorn
11 Jun 2022, 19:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Newton's Dream
Replies: 4
Views: 3581

Re: Newton's Dream

Well done for writing this, Frank. It's over my head - wouldn't know where to start.
Eira
by capricorn
27 May 2022, 23:56
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Hi Dad (revision 3)
Replies: 7
Views: 5706

Re: Hi Dad (revision2)

BobBradshaw wrote:
06 May 2022, 05:58
Lovely. I love the tenderness and warmth in that closing line.
Thanks Bob, but I couldn't resist another revision. :D

Eira