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Save it Frank your rhetoric is meaningless

For Bernie and Frank, This is the last time I will allow you to stifle my work and my creativity, Your critiques go far and beyond the limits of a constructive crit. Really Bernie, Libel, Notes on technique, invasion of privacy??? And you Frank, giving a sermon on the rules of critique and then you ...

I'm done,
Best regards to the rest

Frank and Bernie, the Forum is all yours, just the way you want it ... I don't have time for this psychobabble
Linda

B.
I think the disagreement is, you assume my words written are quotes, my understanding is that
A Persona poem as an interpretation of what the author feels the character would say or feel.
Which is where I was coming from.
Linda

Yes K. you are right, it is about her death, a slow and gentile one, in a semi coma, hence the testing of the waters.
Thanks for looking in
Linda

Thank You Bernie,
you have given me much to ponder with your valid suggestions
Best,
Linda

She has navigated through the relentless, became proficient at when to hold on or let go. now she's testing the waters, see how she floats-- eyes closed, heart open, trusting the currents, And when white waves rise roll over her weary body-- the choice has already been made, lungs pumped, adrenaline...

Really beautiful Eira,
both the language, content and clear images,
A feat in itself to control the sentiment in a piece like this.
I find no changes to suggest.
Best Linda

just read your reply, first poem eh, so the talent was there just waiting to be tapped.
Linda

This is great from several aspects. The content brings you down the page, the line breaks feeds the pace. There's alliteration throughout the piece..Piston Powered grasshoppers....monumental mountains...and distance is determined by the difficulty of the terrain. Both beginning and ending stanzas do...

Such a unique take on Creation. I admire how well you maintained the nonchalant tone throughout, like having coffee and chatting with Micheal. I wouldn't suggest any changes.
Your last stanza My fav.
Best,
Linda

Thanks for looking in, Gee Bernie, I never knew that you had to earn the right to write a Persona Poem. My research was based on published sources. Persona poems have been written about the dead, the famous and the mundane without standards being compromised. I understand that you look through the l...

Beautiful piece Bernie,
each stanza is a striking image, S2 is gorgeous,
and the last Stanza especially the last line is my favorite.
Well done.
Linda

thanks bob any suggestions for Cornflower eyes? , I'm thinking on the other line
Best, Liinda

I Like this sweet journey into dusk, I was drawn in by your opening, and your images esp in S2 are great.. Like a black cat waking from its lethargy....very effective so too is the closing lines....reality will be dissolved under the tepid moon.... S2 the word fragrancies, did you mean fragrances? V...

I like this, it is sweet, short but leaves a definite impression on the reader, at least it did for me,
especially the image of the lanterns trembling upon someone passing, hit home. bold in a different way.
Very Nice.
Linda

Thanks Bob,
I didn't realize there were any. Except for Tinseled wings, which I felt completed the phrase perfectly so I left it in,
Best,
Linda

thanks for the catch in the first S, and your suggestions, I removed one of the...do you recall..in S3, the original title was Unforgettable, I am thinking of changing it back.
Appreciate the imput
Linda

such an enjoyable read, I like what you've done with it. 2 things....S4 I pause at the line....I brush with past guests...maybe ....past guests brush by... Next to last stanza , the line....her aura drenches me...perhaps envelopes me... the image of an aura drenching?? just MHO take what you like, d...

Not offended Kenneth, .
My ego is not that fragile.

Frank,
the narrator is gazing at the stars, kind of thinking out loud, in her own words, about creation, not really going by the book, the Good Book that is.
Best Linda

Enjoyed the read F.
I think you just penned the ending that Bernie was after--
the last reply before mine, read it aloud its great
Best
Linda

thought I'd take a little poetic license concerning the rib, if it seems to offend I will re-word
Thanks all

Thanks Ken,
I took your suggestion and omitted (I think) from S6.
I think it reads better, thinking on the title.
Best
Linda

Gazing at the constellations, I think about Creation, Adam and Eve, a rib taken, try to fathom the fathomless. Maybe it was the brutal bang, hydrogen, helium hurling through space. A stellar mix of gas and dust pressed into boulders. The oceans--a living froth glazed with life that slithered from wa...