Search found 163 matches

by IndianaDP
20 Jan 2019, 01:08
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Poems that placed in the November IBPC 2018 (Congrats Ken)
Replies: 10
Views: 2118

Re: Poems that placed in the November IBPC 2018 (Congrats Ken)

Congratulations Ken, great poem, your the IBPC master.
by IndianaDP
18 Jan 2019, 20:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Pongal
Replies: 8
Views: 1738

Re: Pongal

Great writing, lovely descriptions. IMO, I would rephrase S1 and S2 to eliminate the word ‘pongal’ I see this in the title, if I need help knowing it’s a festival perhaps title, ‘the festival of pongal, otherwise the first stanza reads like a definition. Perhaps start, ‘ We rejoice with gratitude, a...
by IndianaDP
15 Jan 2019, 23:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Het Gele Huis - Edit 3 - 17 Jan 2019
Replies: 10
Views: 1851

Re: Het Gele Huis - edit 2

I get a bit confused towards the end, does the narrator see himself as the landlord for the shop owners? If so, when he says ‘my customers’ they are his because they enable the shop keepers to pay rent?
by IndianaDP
03 Jan 2019, 18:36
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2019:
Replies: 15
Views: 2851

Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2019:

1/Dale Patterson 2/dalepatterson@comcast.com 3/the poem is mine 4/and is an unpublished work 5/and that I am not representing in the current IBPC Fusions Prussian Blue street, headlights, horns, stiletto heels clipping down stairs to a small basement club where pink neon shapes a mood we fall into, ...
by IndianaDP
01 Jan 2019, 16:59
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2019:
Replies: 15
Views: 2851

Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2019:

I nominate-

Bob’s Renaming Constellations
Sivas’s Appa Took Me...
Michael’s Celebrating a 53rd Anniversary
by IndianaDP
29 Dec 2018, 20:06
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Wedding Of The Year
Replies: 10
Views: 1900

Re: Wedding Of The Year

Great subject, well written. I agree with Bob concerning the final lines.
by IndianaDP
29 Dec 2018, 20:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Fusions
Replies: 6
Views: 1769

Re: Fusions

Thanks Bob.

Thanks Capricorn, you have me thinking about the ‘And’

Thanks Siva, I’ll think some on the title.
by IndianaDP
21 Dec 2018, 02:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Fusions
Replies: 6
Views: 1769

Fusions

Prussian Blue street headlights, horns, stiletto heels clipping down stairs, a small basement club where pink neon shapes moods we fall into, blushes your cheeks, your hands as we order Rioja, eat crumbled cheese, wafers of rye. And music, played by a young Asian artist, silver sax rolling, narrow b...
by IndianaDP
21 Dec 2018, 02:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Renaming Constellations
Replies: 9
Views: 2204

Re: Renaming Constellations

Looks good Bob, I like it.
by IndianaDP
21 Dec 2018, 02:21
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Running on the Spectrum (revised first 3 stanzas)
Replies: 30
Views: 5869

Re: Running on the Sprectrum (a new revision)

I like the shorter line lengths Bob suggests.
by IndianaDP
16 Dec 2018, 06:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Whiskey for Buffalo Nickels
Replies: 4
Views: 1710

Re: Whiskey for Buffalo Nickels

Thanks Bob,

Just trying to get my mind working on something.
by IndianaDP
15 Dec 2018, 22:36
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Whiskey for Buffalo Nickels
Replies: 4
Views: 1710

Whiskey for Buffalo Nickels

Rough wood
Western themed bar.

A widow in a red tasseled vest
Puckers her lips saying please.

Photos on the wall
Wild Bill Cody

A cowgirl
Throwing her lasso.
by IndianaDP
15 Dec 2018, 20:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Koodangkulam Power Plant
Replies: 5
Views: 1480

Re: The Koodangkulam Power Plant

Hi Siva, for myself this reads too much like an editorial, not enough poetics. I want to know about what the lives of the people are like without power, to know better why it is needed.
by IndianaDP
01 Dec 2018, 21:55
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming December IBPC 2018:
Replies: 9
Views: 2552

Re: Upcoming December IBPC 2018:

Thanks for the nom Bob. Here is the poem should it be selected. 1/Dale Patterson 2/dalepatterson@comcast.com 3/the poem is mine 4/and is an unpublished work 5/and that I am not representing in the current IBPC The Miracle of Flight A man walks through corn dank furrows towering green that absorbs hu...
by IndianaDP
30 Nov 2018, 22:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Miracle of Flight
Replies: 6
Views: 1701

Re: The Miracle of Flight

Thanks Ken, in this I am using the plane as a subtle metaphor for God, so the tipping wing is like a signal. None-the-less the man still has doubts even with signs.
by IndianaDP
27 Nov 2018, 18:54
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Miracle of Flight
Replies: 6
Views: 1701

Re: The Miracle of Flight

Thanks Bob
by IndianaDP
26 Nov 2018, 18:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Miracle of Flight
Replies: 6
Views: 1701

The Miracle of Flight

A man walks through corn dank furrows towering green that absorbs humid yellow. He is angry and tired of fighting his wife things that are set and beyond his control. As he reaches the edge of the field a silver plane drones dips its wing to the earth. He waves then wonders if the pilot can see him ...
by IndianaDP
26 Nov 2018, 18:00
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: From the Wooden Hut - V3
Replies: 6
Views: 2061

Re: From the Wooden Hut - V3

Beautifullly written Frank. I ditto the accolades of others then add a bravo for the final stanza.
by IndianaDP
26 Nov 2018, 17:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Nannerl on Wolfi’s Tour Through Italy
Replies: 5
Views: 1341

Re: Nannerl on Wolfi’s Tour Through Italy

I especially like, ‘mama piles my hair in this dusky apartment.’ The story flows well, I was also bothered some by the multiples of firefly. Great poem.
by IndianaDP
26 Nov 2018, 17:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Indian Summer -revision
Replies: 5
Views: 1272

Re: Indian Summer -revision

Solid poem, I like the revision.
by IndianaDP
15 Nov 2018, 18:23
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ghost
Replies: 7
Views: 1545

Re: Ghost

Just caught your post, interesting how this memory runs ahead of you in the mall, when we often drag our memories behind us. Nicely done.
by IndianaDP
05 Nov 2018, 03:37
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2018:
Replies: 17
Views: 3808

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2018:

If selected here is my poem and entry information. 1/Dale Patterson 2/dalepatterson@comcast.com 3/the poem is mine 4/and is an unpublished work 5/and that I am not representing in the current IBPC Selective Breeding She is a beautiful woman who likes Chinese silk and French beaded bags, has a Master...
by IndianaDP
28 Oct 2018, 04:34
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2018:
Replies: 17
Views: 3808

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2018;

I nominate-

Bob’s - Verlaine’s Young Wife Boards a Train
Billy’s - For Daryl
Frank’s - Welch Cakes of War
by IndianaDP
27 Oct 2018, 06:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Eugenics (revision)
Replies: 11
Views: 1880

Re: Eugenics (revision)

Ha ha, will do.

I’m sure I’ll be nominating one of yours when the link is posted, let me know if you have a preference.
by IndianaDP
26 Oct 2018, 18:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Eugenics (revision)
Replies: 11
Views: 1880

Re: Eugenics (revision)

Thanks Ken, that would be great, I am changing the title to ‘Selective Breading.’

I have been waiting for a link for new nons.

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