Search found 863 matches

by SivaRamanathan
20 Sep 2012, 12:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: the passenger seat
Replies: 3
Views: 3759

Re: the passenger seat

Frank
There is no hard and fast rule that says

Titles must have capital letters for each word, no period or full stop.
by SivaRamanathan
19 Sep 2012, 11:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: prey
Replies: 5
Views: 5177

Re: prey

Octo
it is impossible to figure out how you have edited,because there is only one version.This poem should not have been abandoned.
by SivaRamanathan
19 Sep 2012, 11:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Museum
Replies: 0
Views: 2307

Museum

There are these favourite spots Papa took us on Sundays to sit and gaze at the museum by night.’ Look at the spot–light focused on coconuts till they gleam like burnt gold,’’ he said. The nuts shine, the leaves cast black shadows, the red and white building sits like a painting on a mound the loud s...
by SivaRamanathan
17 Sep 2012, 15:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sister Valeria
Replies: 4
Views: 2960

Sister Valeria

Sister Valeria And so she made me stay with her for two years teaching me how to look at and for objects. — the hazy achieved preciseness like the focusing of a lens. wavering lights became static liquid solid. Valeria was my looking glass, my pair of German lenses both convex and concave; she showe...
by SivaRamanathan
17 Sep 2012, 13:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Games We Played
Replies: 0
Views: 2250

The Games We Played

While the house slept at noons mostly, we played indigenous doctor compounder, not nurse ; crushed flowers, leaves, roots on stone using stone to grind, filled the concoction in bottles so that the bottle assumed the colour of the liquid but we took care not to drink our own medicine only often maki...
by SivaRamanathan
16 Sep 2012, 07:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Vatsala’s House
Replies: 0
Views: 2360

Vatsala’s House

In the mid-portion there was a shallow washing place. The steps, the verandah threw us into an old fashioned Brahmin house. Above the shallow there was an open glass to let in light. The roof stood on four pillars on the four corners of the washing space which had moveable glass panes above to permi...
by SivaRamanathan
07 Sep 2012, 05:10
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Our 2 IBPC-bound for September 2012:
Replies: 6
Views: 5759

Re: Our 2 IBPC-bound for September 2012:

The second nomination

I suggest we nominate Michael's 'triad.'
by SivaRamanathan
06 Sep 2012, 22:43
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Our 2 IBPC-bound for September 2012:
Replies: 6
Views: 5759

Re: Our 2 IBPC-bound for September 2012:

Michael,
Thank you and please edit this version. Yoly,are you there? I am experimenting,so I am not confident about the changes.
by SivaRamanathan
06 Sep 2012, 22:40
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Our 2 IBPC-bound for September 2012:
Replies: 6
Views: 5759

Re: Our 2 IBPC-bound for September 2012:

I do not have any other poem representing another house,this month.This is my poem, and it is unpublished.I am Sivakami Velliangiri,and my e-mail id is sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com The Cathartic Effect Of A Butoh Dancer Atsushi Takenouchi unwinds slowly like a robot keyed up let loose on a spring. ...
by SivaRamanathan
05 Sep 2012, 21:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Train At Three Levels
Replies: 1
Views: 3129

Train At Three Levels

Edit-5 Train At Three Levels the first 'thrain' lisped from your stories, how as a child you enlarged two anna coins on the tracks with the weight of the Salem Express then tossed into the pulp of the Cauvery for the peace of your ancestors; the poet in me borrowed it and I made it all mine as a you...
by SivaRamanathan
02 Sep 2012, 07:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "triad"
Replies: 1
Views: 2648

Re: "triad"

Michael
I like this version better than the previous one. I think you are experimenting with new styles.Beyond that I am not able to suggest any
variations.
by SivaRamanathan
28 Aug 2012, 12:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Baying at the Moon edit 2
Replies: 10
Views: 7645

Re: Baying at the Moon edit 2

Frank This whole chunk reads very prosaic. If you do not want to work on it please post another poem. At one time in the British prison system Governors and planners Arranged their prisons so that prisoners were seperated throughout the day and night. This system brought peace there were no fights, ...
by SivaRamanathan
27 Aug 2012, 14:07
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Poems that placed for IBPC July 2012: (Congrats! Siva)
Replies: 1
Views: 5986

Re: Poems that placed for IBPC July 2012: (Congrats! Siva)

My thanks are due to Frank Dyer for his first interest,, though the final edit is Yoly’s. Michael for having faith in the poem and recommending it. I also applaud the warm camaraderie in the groups and feel good to have so many poet friends. My Thanks are also due to: Right from Cassky, Alison, Mar(...
by SivaRamanathan
16 Aug 2012, 06:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Baying at the Moon edit 2
Replies: 10
Views: 7645

Re: Baying at the Moon edit 1

Frank
I am merely trying to push this up,meaning raise it to the top of the forum.

The burned Joan didn't they(They burnt Joan,didn't they?
by SivaRamanathan
15 Aug 2012, 09:30
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Sky Blue Convent Uniform
Replies: 2
Views: 4901

Re: The Sky Blue Convent Uniform

Frank
Thanks for reading.

they dragged me inside,
congratulating unnecessarily.
Look at the me in the previous line; one ‘me’ is enough.

on a tainted skirt.
I have used this in a general sense.

Amma I have used the capital and italicized
by SivaRamanathan
14 Aug 2012, 20:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Sky Blue Convent Uniform
Replies: 2
Views: 4901

The Sky Blue Convent Uniform

Edit-3 The Sky Blue Convent Uniform One evening I was playing, running between trees when Amma came up with a rolled ball of my pinafore and a hoard of relatives walking behind saying, `'Yes yes, it is the sure thing, your daughter has rained a shower of flowers.' And the women dragged me inside, co...
by SivaRamanathan
14 Aug 2012, 17:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Red Murder
Replies: 2
Views: 3393

Re: Red Murder

Yoly
I have a better poem than this.I will find it for you.
by SivaRamanathan
14 Aug 2012, 17:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Now My Brothers Office Room
Replies: 3
Views: 3826

Re: Now My Brothers Office Room

Yoly
I wish you would say something on the craft of the poem. I wrote it in one go,but Frank has put it into couplets.
I do not know how many poems I can post in this forum in a week. I wish I could post a few more.
by SivaRamanathan
14 Aug 2012, 17:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Symptomatic
Replies: 24
Views: 14193

Re: Symptomatic

Yoly
It is what my manuscript is about.It has to become a book of poems.
Thanks.
by SivaRamanathan
13 Aug 2012, 19:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Baying at the Moon edit 2
Replies: 10
Views: 7645

Re: Baying at the Moon edit 1

Frank
The whole 'poem' is very prosaic.There are snatches of poetry here and there. You are not inside the soul of the poem.It sounds like reportage.
Please don't give up trying.I have not even kept a copy of the original poem so I do not know where you have edited.
by SivaRamanathan
13 Aug 2012, 09:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Baying at the Moon edit 2
Replies: 10
Views: 7645

Re: Baying at the Moon edit 1

Frank Please don't misunderstand.This poem has potential.Just don't give up on the editing. I consider the poem ready for publication. I know when a poem is ready for nomination.At least I know when a poem is a poem, and this just isn't. The second part reads like this At one time in the British pri...
by SivaRamanathan
12 Aug 2012, 20:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Baying at the Moon edit 2
Replies: 10
Views: 7645

Re: Baying at the Moon edit 1

I wondered if this poem is good enugh to go forward for the next IB thing? Frank Why would you want that? It is but at the larva stage.This poem has to not merely grow, but transform itself, before it can sprout wings and fly. When we write a poem we do it out of sheer necessity,because the words wi...
by SivaRamanathan
11 Aug 2012, 19:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Baying at the Moon edit 2
Replies: 10
Views: 7645

Re: Baying at the Moon

Frank Forgive me for this nonsense,but I could not resist. Better riots than a thousand howling madmen baying at the moon; They burned Joan, didn't they hung her out on her own gibbet, long ago didn't they? I assumed that each was in his own cell grinning from his own pigeon hole going about with hi...
by SivaRamanathan
10 Aug 2012, 05:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Baying at the Moon edit 2
Replies: 10
Views: 7645

Re: Baying at the Moon

Frank
read this through.But it needs more readings.

Most of the inmates had
bec(o)[a]me raving lunatics.

The last couplet fascinates me.What a nice way it would be, if you began with those lines.
by SivaRamanathan
10 Aug 2012, 03:23
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Dry Dock Road - edit 1
Replies: 5
Views: 5129

Re: The Dry Dock Road - edit 1

Frank
I am thinking.As a long narrative poem we are led into the story.But if you looking for impact then a shorter version of this would hit the reader,pat.

Go to advanced search