Search found 777 matches

by Bernie01
11 May 2018, 07:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Night Lowers Jet Blue Wings*
Replies: 17
Views: 3231

Night Lowers Jet Blue Wings*

Gang--- how can i thank you? this poem has hung around my desk much too long. your comments helped greatly to nail this more final version. for now, mastodons , but thinking hard. Rains wash across the grain carriers, the massive ships lumber a glassine sea, the occasional whistle like a woman spea...
by Bernie01
11 May 2018, 06:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ashlyn, Attending a Friend’s Wedding Reception, Meets a Youn
Replies: 6
Views: 1494

Re: Ashlyn, Attending a Friend’s Wedding Reception, Meets a

Bob--- just wonderful. I was right there, every twist and glimpse. wish the poem could find something more feminine here: like a chameleon, one moment part of a branch's lichen, like a couple at the rail of a sea borne cruiser, the way to an aperitif table. You pause, look around, beautiful oh that...
by Bernie01
10 May 2018, 08:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Trying to Get Motivated Now That it's Spring
Replies: 11
Views: 3307

Re: Trying to Get Motivated Now That it's Spring

gang... check kate tempest... british rapping poet. bernie https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-pty-pty_email&hsimp=yhs-pty_email&hspart=pty&p=kate+tempest+youtube#id=2&vid=45a6685aa4af57625f10088d920e0507&action=click https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-pty-pty_email&hsimp=...
by Bernie01
10 May 2018, 07:59
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Adjunct American Lit (final revision)
Replies: 12
Views: 3330

Re: Adjunct American Lit (final revision)

The Woman at the Washington Zoo Randall Jarrell The saris go by me from the embassies. Cloth from the moon. Cloth from another planet. They look back at the leopard like the leopard. And I. . . . This print of mine, that has kept its color Alive through so many cleanings; this dull null Navy I wear...
by Bernie01
10 May 2018, 07:21
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Trying to Get Motivated Now That it's Spring
Replies: 11
Views: 3307

Re: Trying to Get Motivated Now That it's Spring

K--- high test heartbreak. i would drop the ending dream ref....for? well i'm thinking. i'd add a metal walker. a wallet penned in a pouch. an orthopedic shoe and raspy basal cough, ubiquitous telephone holster strung on a worn brown belt. faded green tattoo of Singapore and Port Royal. really dig t...
by Bernie01
02 May 2018, 23:13
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming May IBPC 2018:
Replies: 13
Views: 4314

Re: Upcoming May IBPC 2018:

Thanks for the nom. Bernard Henrie mojave216bernard@aol.com 1. my original work 2. not representing any other Forum 3. unpublished 4. hard copy follows Alien Sedition Guests dodge the withering rain, pack the church, cough and stamp. A bridesmaid, then two more, mixed ages, breasts at the neckline n...
by Bernie01
01 May 2018, 03:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Gentle Clapping Found Erased in a Wood - V3
Replies: 11
Views: 3239

Re: A30-Erased Clapping Found in a Wood

Frank----


great find, but most of all how to present this scene in a modern context. rich, touching and memorable. great job.



bernie
by Bernie01
29 Apr 2018, 02:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Letter to Emma
Replies: 5
Views: 1776

Re: Letter to Emma

I like this quiet discussion, the writer seems enmeshed in memories.


bernie
by Bernie01
29 Apr 2018, 02:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Shelley's Heart
Replies: 10
Views: 2536

Re: Shelley's Heart

Shelley's Heart...


a third nom from me....loved the ending. the narrative flow handles a lot of detail, but does so smoothly and without interrupting the building mood.

very very nice.


bernie
by Bernie01
29 Apr 2018, 02:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Alien Sedition
Replies: 24
Views: 4916

Re: Alien Sedition

OH, IF ONLY WE COULD PUT ALL OUR NAMES AS AUTHOR....


IN ANY CASE, MU[CH THANKS.



BERNIE
by Bernie01
24 Apr 2018, 06:33
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Adjunct American Lit (final revision)
Replies: 12
Views: 3330

Re: American Lit Adjunct

Dale---


enjoyed the originality of theme, the descriptions.

pondered the pronouns.


is a contrast projected in the poem the traditional, older woman vs the woman in the final image:

She turns on her cell,
scoots between desks,
her Malcom X t-shirt
worn as a dress.


excellent poem.


bernie
by Bernie01
24 Apr 2018, 04:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: South Florida Fashion Shoot
Replies: 4
Views: 1461

South Florida Fashion Shoot

Great comments, very helpful with this poem and another in the incubator. thanks. here is our IBPC judge, a comment and a pom: C. Wade Bentley : “Over the past year or so, I have several times decided to be done submitting poems, maybe even to be done writing poems. And it’s not because I’m bitter o...
by Bernie01
21 Apr 2018, 11:37
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: South Florida Fashion Shoot
Replies: 4
Views: 1461

South Florida Fashion Shoot

R#1 She found sailor pants and wore them damn well, the ocean sashayed behind her with green hues and shadow. She glistened in South Florida where the heat is both eccentric and glamorous, a royal on holiday seeming to roam a private island. My wife grabbed her for photos and we sold the lot to a S...
by Bernie01
20 Apr 2018, 05:37
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Spider Orchids
Replies: 4
Views: 1441

Re: Spider Orchids

Bob--- a joy and wonder. so original, beginning to end. one fresh, unexpected image after another. My favorite? I choose an orchid from my childhood: the great plains white fringed orchid, her tresses of snowy flowers unloosening evening perfumes (I almost blush.) the lady's slipper, her labellum s...
by Bernie01
19 Apr 2018, 05:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Meeting my Father-in-law - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 3093

Re: Constanze - revised

Bob--- not crazy for the narrative here---it seems to move without compelling line. is there a zig zag? just asking? Version two: Constanze Hadn’t Wolfi's "Papa" made it clear that I was unwelcomed as a Mozart? must we start with less than a declarative? "hadn't....that I...." What musical talent d...
by Bernie01
19 Apr 2018, 03:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Oklahoma (revision)
Replies: 10
Views: 2781

Re: Oklahoma (revision)

Dale--- shining in the red okla sun. and it isn't closing time. final revision Near old photographs of oil fields and dust bowl refugees a Rock-Ola jukebox plays Earnest Tubb. I’m drinking shots, ready to stop driving trucks, to start selling cars for my brother in East Sacramento. The bartender po...
by Bernie01
16 Apr 2018, 21:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Alien Sedition
Replies: 24
Views: 4916

Re: Alien Sedition

Guys---


i'm no longer deep in wanton soup---not even the wonton.

smoother? great!

red envelope....now decorously placed on the gift table. i love that word here, decorous. oh yes, decorous. and that ruby colored tuxedo.

I saw all this on my travels....LOL.


thanks, one and all.


bernie
by Bernie01
15 Apr 2018, 21:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Alien Sedition
Replies: 24
Views: 4916

Re: Alien Sedition

Guys---

thanks for holding in with this endless series of revisions.

done now.

(promise.)


bernie
by Bernie01
14 Apr 2018, 20:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Oklahoma (revision)
Replies: 10
Views: 2781

Re: Oklahoma (revision)

Hank Williams and Anita Carter (1949, NBC / Kate Smith Hour sponsored by Bab-o I can't Help It If I'm Still In Love With You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orM1yplEltI Ernest Tubb I'm Walking the Floor Over You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWmbFXJDHrM Kitty Wells It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Ton...
by Bernie01
14 Apr 2018, 00:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Oklahoma (revision)
Replies: 10
Views: 2781

Re: Oklahoma

Dale--- plenty going on...and all of it edged with wit and barely hidden sadness. not your intent...but you reference this at the opening...the Discobolus. a maverick part of my brain wanted to see this OK bar over laid by a Greek Taverna....the ...Cherokee maiden with masculine shoulders ...etc. p...
by Bernie01
13 Apr 2018, 23:36
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Automobile Rescue Repairmen - Fred and Joe - V2
Replies: 5
Views: 1554

Re: Automobile Rescue Repairmen - Fred and Joe

Frank--- only the ten commandments are in stone. any photo....can be retouched.... I like the refrain, the ending lines....for the poem. the details of the repair, might go the way of the dodo bird. His voice percolates through from the dining room, reflects impatience, his frustration. I try to fo...
by Bernie01
13 Apr 2018, 23:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Alien Sedition
Replies: 24
Views: 4916

Re: Alien Sedition

Dale:


maybe...

water chestnuts....

A bridesmaid, then two more,
mixed ages, breasts at the neckline
no bigger than water chestnuts.



thinking about the image...i don't want to signal desire----he is focused on his lost love who now marries another man.

thinking...


bernie
by Bernie01
13 Apr 2018, 23:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Cat Walk
Replies: 4
Views: 1648

Re: The Cat Walk

M--- very nice. i especially like the long whiskers. now, everything relates to a cat....to gently suggest this might be also be a certain type of man ... what can the poem say? The long whiskers twitching striped body in mixed colours yellow and black, or black and white A poor cousin of the feroc...
by Bernie01
10 Apr 2018, 07:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Meeting my Father-in-law - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 3093

Re: Constanze Mozart

Bob--- can i talk you into a major revision? too many names, for one thing. interesting only because Mozart if mixed in, but not interesting because of the poem. and then, a lot of close reasoning---in flat diction, to set the poem for the wonderful final verse. alas, the poem could be about any mo...
by Bernie01
08 Apr 2018, 01:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: To Win at all Cost
Replies: 4
Views: 1501

Re: To Win at all Cost

Frank---

i suppose you know ann coulter:


https://www.aol.com/article/news/2018/0 ... /23405612/

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