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by BobBradshaw
15 Sep 2019, 04:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Yanar Dag
Replies: 8
Views: 1513

Re: Yanar Dag

Terrific piece. The images are imaginative and the closing just right.
by BobBradshaw
14 Sep 2019, 20:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Cormorant Fishing
Replies: 2
Views: 862

Cormorant Fishing

Cormorant Fishing Only a cormorant can love a bird like me, goofy looking, with black plumage, and a bill with a hooked tip. Any fish I grab I slip deftly into my pocket, my pouch. If I don't sail back with my catch, my boss drags me back by my roped ankle. A noose loosely tied around my neck guaran...
by BobBradshaw
14 Sep 2019, 19:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: On The Shelves
Replies: 4
Views: 1143

Re: On The Shelves

Good topic.... just thoughts...S1 can be trimmed a bit. I really like S2, and the breaks. s3 is good. s4 can be simplified? s5...Shakespeare doesn't need to be mentioned...we all know it. excites...bears lots of fun...choose one, not both descriptions....enjoyable poem....just needs some simplifying...
by BobBradshaw
13 Sep 2019, 20:00
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Percy Shelley
Replies: 7
Views: 1530

Re: Percy Shelley

Ken, Meenas — thank you for your comments
by BobBradshaw
13 Sep 2019, 09:54
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Let Go
Replies: 8
Views: 1442

Re: Let Go

good point, Michael.....I'll change shaking to quivering
by BobBradshaw
13 Sep 2019, 09:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Percy Shelley
Replies: 7
Views: 1530

Percy Shelley

Percy Shelley Mary confessed to me how in St. Pancras' cemetery-- her mother's grave a stone's throw away-- Percy pulled her down, moaning and swearing a loyalty as steadfast as the sky is to land and sea. She was sixteen, and afraid to ask, Had he pledged the same to his pregnant wife, Harriet? As ...
by BobBradshaw
13 Sep 2019, 05:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Let Go
Replies: 8
Views: 1442

Re: Let Go

I like your suggestions, how you have simplified the poem, meenas... thank you...
by BobBradshaw
12 Sep 2019, 19:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: So Many Memories
Replies: 5
Views: 1335

Re: So Many Memories

nice... I like S2 the best... love the verb flipped. Agree with Ken.... good restraint.
by BobBradshaw
11 Sep 2019, 00:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Note From the School Shooter's Therapist
Replies: 7
Views: 1252

Re: Note From the School Shooter's Therapist

I have read a number of poems on shooters recently... this one is by far the best
by BobBradshaw
10 Sep 2019, 19:12
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Note From the School Shooter's Therapist
Replies: 7
Views: 1252

Re: Note From the School Shooter's Therapist

Wow.... terrific and to say the least disquieting... well done!
by BobBradshaw
09 Sep 2019, 20:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Dante's Outer Circles
Replies: 12
Views: 3307

Re: Dante's Outer Rings

Splendid writing..not crits...
by BobBradshaw
09 Sep 2019, 09:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Rockaway Farms, East Islip -1908.
Replies: 4
Views: 1070

Re: Rockaway Farms, East Islip -1908.

Well, I really like what you're doing...stretching your skill set, trying new voices. You nail the voice, the local dialect. The details pulled me in, too....love the writing as seen here: I coaxed them with oats and apples, rigged a sling truss in the barn to work their fetlocks, used poultices and...
by BobBradshaw
08 Sep 2019, 00:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Downsizing the Dead
Replies: 4
Views: 915

Re: Downsizing the Dead

The 2nd stanza is a stunner...really good. The 3rd and 4th stanzas are good as well... I enjoyed the conversational deftness . I am uncertain how I feel about the 1st stanza... it is clever but not the same tone as the following stanzas. I might cut it. The ghost-cheater ending doesn’t carry the kin...
by BobBradshaw
07 Sep 2019, 22:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Let Go
Replies: 8
Views: 1442

Re: Let Go

Ken, I love your suggestions. I will repost with them. The poem is much better with your cuts. Thank you

I am sorry to hear about your cat. We lost our cat, and go was nearly 20 years old, awhile back.... heartbreaking
by BobBradshaw
07 Sep 2019, 20:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Let Go
Replies: 8
Views: 1442

Let Go

V2: Let Go I'm like a violin player reading the notes ahead on my perched sheet, even as I’m scraping faster and faster, determined to catch up with the notes. How could I have expected turning towards the kitchen to whisk up an omelet, as I do every morning, to see you toppled over onto the linoleu...
by BobBradshaw
06 Sep 2019, 02:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Wordsworth on the Second Edition of Lyrical Ballads
Replies: 9
Views: 1690

Re: Wordsworth on the Second Edition of Lyrical Ballads

Thx, Michael, for the interesting response. I googled auto Thanatographt, but found the articles confusing. Perhaps you could explain in layman terms... thx
by BobBradshaw
05 Sep 2019, 19:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Who Could She Be?
Replies: 4
Views: 947

Re: Who Could She Be?

Just lovely, and so well done! Your best, or one of your best. The way you keep us guessing is a lot of fun. Kudos

Note: now that you're writing at such a high level, I would welcome, and I'm sure others would welcome, constructive criticisms from you on our pieces. Teamwork....thanks, meenas
by BobBradshaw
05 Sep 2019, 08:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Anniversary Reaction
Replies: 3
Views: 760

Re: Anniversary Reaction

Love that opening stanza... love the narrator’s strong voice... excellent poem!
by BobBradshaw
05 Sep 2019, 05:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Wordsworth on the Second Edition of Lyrical Ballads
Replies: 9
Views: 1690

Re: Wordsworth on the Second Edition of Lyrical Ballads

I have revised the poem... let me know your thoughts
by BobBradshaw
04 Sep 2019, 21:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Monsoon Bliss
Replies: 4
Views: 882

Re: Monsoon Bliss

I like it, especially the ending. My only criticism... to say these lines a bit more simply, conversationally:

the not
so versatile repeat
in chorus a simple line,
' we want rain" competes.
by BobBradshaw
04 Sep 2019, 20:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Find's His Pride
Replies: 3
Views: 849

Re: Find's His Pride

I echo Ken... great to have another poet here. I like some of the phrases, especially “I am a fish”...I am liquid”. Ken is right... toss “Mayest”. I have only seen a couple of the shows... thought they were original and funny... but having only seen 2 shows, I am not qualified to comment on the poem...
by BobBradshaw
03 Sep 2019, 20:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Wordsworth on the Second Edition of Lyrical Ballads
Replies: 9
Views: 1690

Wordsworth on the Second Edition of Lyrical Ballads

V2: Wordsworth on the Second Edition of Lyrical Ballads Dorothy smiles sadly as Coleridge lumbers up the stairs, his losses growing, his heart heaving like a widow's-- William having turned down "Christabel" for the second edition, the poem like a relative too embarrassing to be seen with. Worse, Co...
by BobBradshaw
03 Sep 2019, 00:58
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming September IBPC 2019:
Replies: 11
Views: 1886

Re: Upcoming September IBPC 2019:

Bob Bradshaw bobbybradshw@yahoo.com Original and unpublished poem Only for this forum Algernon Charles Swinburne Lean like a flamingo, he boasted a cataract of red hair— but was just as famous for his drunken pratfalls, his poetry accused of being just as confused as he was when sloshing about a roo...
by BobBradshaw
01 Sep 2019, 08:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Lord of the Crows
Replies: 4
Views: 908

Re: Lord of the Crows

Interesting... I like the crows as a history lesson, and the irony in this piece... are you familiar with Ted Hughes’ book “Crow”?

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