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by BobBradshaw
01 Nov 2019, 02:09
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: IBPC Poems of the Year May 2018 April 2019 (Congrats Bob)
Replies: 2
Views: 1469

Re: IBPC Poems of the Year May 2018 April 2019 (Congrats Bob)

Thx, Ken....”Radium Girls” is splendid...and at least equally good
by BobBradshaw
31 Oct 2019, 21:58
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:
Replies: 19
Views: 5514

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:

Thank you, guys. bobbybradshw@yahoo.com This is my original poem, and it hasn't been published anywhere. Neither is it at any other forum. Red Spider Lilies Spider lilies line our garden path, like a crowd carrying red candles. It's said they guide the dead to their afterlife. We strode this same wa...
by BobBradshaw
31 Oct 2019, 00:36
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Honor and Obey
Replies: 3
Views: 1971

Re: Honor and Obey

Good slice of life but I would cut this... unnecessary

I promise we'll come right home."
I said no.
by BobBradshaw
30 Oct 2019, 00:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Flight
Replies: 9
Views: 3065

Re: Flight

A poem isn't meant to be a hoarder's collection. But details can be revealing, and allow the reader to immerse herself into the poem, to feel more of a connection. Irrelevant details obviously aren't what we are talking about. This is a nice poem....but a detail or two, even a right adjective, could...
by BobBradshaw
29 Oct 2019, 23:12
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:
Replies: 19
Views: 5514

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:

I second Judy's "Across the River".
by BobBradshaw
29 Oct 2019, 23:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Flight
Replies: 9
Views: 3065

Re: Flight

I agree...the best line is "the weather brewing in your eyes"....a good premise, yes, and one which could be expanded on...adding some details to the breakfast cooling on the table, for example. As always, I like your conversational voice. It carries me along so easily.
by BobBradshaw
29 Oct 2019, 21:37
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Red Spider Lilies
Replies: 4
Views: 2013

Re: Red Spider Lilies

Thank you, guys....
by BobBradshaw
29 Oct 2019, 20:56
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:
Replies: 19
Views: 5514

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:

Ken's "Planters Moon"
Billy's "I Could Only Write This Today"
Siva's "Big House"
by BobBradshaw
28 Oct 2019, 09:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Red Spider Lilies
Replies: 4
Views: 2013

Red Spider Lilies

Red Spider Lilies Spider lilies line our garden path, like a crowd carrying red candles. It's said they guide the dead to their afterlife. We strode this same walkway, hands laced together. Under August nights, we shared moon cakes and Li Bo's poems... By fall you had dropped your hand for the last ...
by BobBradshaw
26 Oct 2019, 20:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Wild Palms
Replies: 7
Views: 2355

Re: The Wild Palms

I like the world weary tone and ending. And I like these lines especially....feathers of the least little ones...is there a reference here? I don't know it.

The water's rising, the banks

are overflowing. Hallelujah!
by BobBradshaw
26 Oct 2019, 08:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Big House at Mambalam
Replies: 13
Views: 3407

Re: The Big House at Mambalam

Great details...I could quote from anywhere... one of your finest
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 23:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Planters Moon
Replies: 7
Views: 2477

Re: Planters Moon

What a wonderful bleak poem! Love the imagery, the topknot, the drunken sky, etc. Terrific close after setting it up with the farmer who has lost his wife and children....
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 23:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Joseph Haydn
Replies: 8
Views: 2113

Re: Joseph Haydn

No, either one is fine. Thank you, Ken....
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 20:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Sparrow Found (1917) - V2
Replies: 5
Views: 3177

Re: A Sparrow Found (1917)

Yes, quite good. I would cut the "divine sound...." line. A well developed mood piece....
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 08:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Joseph Haydn
Replies: 8
Views: 2113

Re: Joseph Haydn

Thanks, Billy....you're right.
Judy, thank you too. I've taken up one of your suggestions: "After all, one must eat."
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 08:54
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: I Could Only Write This Today
Replies: 10
Views: 3419

Re: I Could Only Write This Today

Terrific poem, Billy....kudos
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 04:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Across The River
Replies: 10
Views: 3338

Re: Across The River

Good one...what Ken said
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 00:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Smelling the Roses
Replies: 9
Views: 2146

Re: Smelling the Roses

It helps, and poetry is usually best when it’s a team effort
by BobBradshaw
25 Oct 2019, 00:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Joseph Haydn
Replies: 8
Views: 2113

Re: Haydn

Thanks, Ken.... I have change you to “he” instead of you and then I have Joseph and Haydn available as well.
by BobBradshaw
24 Oct 2019, 21:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Joseph Haydn
Replies: 8
Views: 2113

Joseph Haydn

Joseph Haydn School thrashings were regular, expected, like prayers on Sunday. Hunger was a constant, like the quivering stars. Joseph took singing jobs on off days, because food was proffered to the musicians, but when his voice, like old paint, began to crack, he was kicked out of Choir School— si...
by BobBradshaw
24 Oct 2019, 21:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Maze I Am In
Replies: 9
Views: 2513

Re: A Maze I Am In

I like the 1st version better...
by BobBradshaw
24 Oct 2019, 20:12
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Smelling the Roses
Replies: 9
Views: 2146

Re: Smelling the Roses

I don't think it's a cliche...it starts with a cliche and finds a new way of expressing its idea...I like the humor and the voice in this
by BobBradshaw
24 Oct 2019, 07:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Someone's Hallelujah (revised(
Replies: 10
Views: 2386

Re: Someone's Hallelujah (revised(

I like the tow rope image....I would stick "Somewhere" before "someone else's...."....

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