Search found 1559 matches

by BobBradshaw
15 Mar 2020, 21:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
Replies: 8
Views: 5127

Re: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.

I'm not sure...possibly...although I'm thinking ending it on a stanza about a death close to the narrator would work better
by BobBradshaw
15 Mar 2020, 00:31
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
Replies: 8
Views: 5127

Re: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.

There is some lovely writing here: I love the long opening you have laid down; We went past a rubber plantation where the stench had to be inhaled to breathe; worse than burning tyres emitting fire-light. My brother said, be sure you know what it is. And so I recalled the many names of after death. ...
by BobBradshaw
14 Mar 2020, 21:23
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Lois Lane In Love
Replies: 6
Views: 5779

Re: Lois Lane, In Love

shortened
by BobBradshaw
14 Mar 2020, 06:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Separation
Replies: 3
Views: 3973

Re: Conjoined Twins Go Their Separate Ways

Thanks, Michael.... especially for your enthusiastic support. It means a lot.

I like the idea of “Separation” for the title.
And I also like your improvement for the last line.

Yes. I’d appreciate a nom for April.
Again, much thanks!
Bob
by BobBradshaw
12 Mar 2020, 06:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Lois Lane In Love
Replies: 6
Views: 5779

Re: Superman and Lois Lane

A slight cut...
by BobBradshaw
12 Mar 2020, 06:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Separation
Replies: 3
Views: 3973

Separation

V2: Separation Conjoined at the hip and chest, we were partners in a slow dance. Though our parents were divorced, we never knew loneliness. When talk of separation came up we looked at each other the way a pilot and co-pilot in a piper plane do when flying at low altitude, and the engine stalls. Ou...
by BobBradshaw
08 Mar 2020, 21:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Lois Lane In Love
Replies: 6
Views: 5779

Lois Lane In Love

V2: Lois Lane In Love He’s always diving out an open window waving goodbye, but when he does find time for a quick kiss, a surge of energy floods my nerves. It's like a power surge after an outage, every suburb in my body lighting up. All night as he circles the planet, saving Paris, New Delhi, Min...
by BobBradshaw
06 Mar 2020, 01:52
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
Replies: 9
Views: 5696

Re: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:

Thx, Michael, for the link.... enjoyed the poem.... especially liked the idea of flames flying from the inside out
by BobBradshaw
05 Mar 2020, 21:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Athenaeum
Replies: 1
Views: 3507

Re: The Athenaeum

I like this, Siva. I like the closing especially. I like some of the details, like the reference to the circumference of the library. I like the imagination in "a dream in concrete" and the spaces in google earth opening...I would replace "treasure" with something else...avoid the cliche when possib...
by BobBradshaw
05 Mar 2020, 04:19
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
Replies: 9
Views: 5696

Re: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:

Thx, Michael Bob Bradshaw bobbybradshw@yahoo.com This is my original, unpublished work, not representing any other forum. Laika Don't do this, I whimpered. He held me squirming in his beefy hands. “Congrats, comrade, you’re now a cosmonaut.” For weeks I trained, circling in dizzying orbits around a ...
by BobBradshaw
04 Mar 2020, 21:20
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
Replies: 9
Views: 5696

Re: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:

Thank you, Eira. Michael, Siva wrote to me and wants to withdraw her nom since she has a nomination at another forum. So please withdraw "Paperfall". Thx, Bob
by BobBradshaw
02 Mar 2020, 22:39
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
Replies: 9
Views: 5696

Re: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:

I nominate Eira's "Found You Again on Facebook" and Siva's "Paperfall"
by BobBradshaw
01 Mar 2020, 21:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: (Reworked)Paperfall
Replies: 4
Views: 3966

Re: Paperfall

Between these two last stanzas I think you need another one, expanding on the artist herself, something personal and maybe disturbing...also, the cataract stanza that "falls in a flow"....cataract alone tells us it is plunging....so "falls in a flow" just repeats what we already know....maybe a whit...
by BobBradshaw
01 Mar 2020, 06:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: (Reworked)Paperfall
Replies: 4
Views: 3966

Re: Paperfall

As I said before, I like the quiet restraint of this poem. Especially sections I and II. The third section doesn’t work as well. I am expecting it to tie in with the first 2 sections more clearly. The conclusion doesn’t seem to grow naturally out of what preceded it. Should you go with just the firs...
by BobBradshaw
28 Feb 2020, 06:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Laika
Replies: 4
Views: 4631

Re: Laika, First Dog in Space

I used your suggestions, Michael...the poem is much improved. Thank you
by BobBradshaw
27 Feb 2020, 21:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Laika
Replies: 4
Views: 4631

Re: Laika, First Dog in Space

A lot of good suggestions, Michael. I will use some of them. Thx
by BobBradshaw
25 Feb 2020, 00:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Boys of Summer
Replies: 7
Views: 4677

Re: Boys of Summer

Thanks, Siva
by BobBradshaw
23 Feb 2020, 21:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Boys of Summer
Replies: 7
Views: 4677

Re: Boys of Summer

Thanks, Michael... and to Siva for her suggestions
by BobBradshaw
22 Feb 2020, 21:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Boys of Summer
Replies: 7
Views: 4677

Re: Boys of Summer

Thx, Siva... I simplified the poem. Let me know your thoughts.
by BobBradshaw
22 Feb 2020, 01:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Boys of Summer
Replies: 7
Views: 4677

Boys of Summer

V2: Boys of Summer A ball leaped past my glove like a hare through a hole in a hedge, runners circling the bases. Other fathers raced onto the field, the game over, chattering like infielders. My father sulked in the car behind tinted glass. There were only errors in 1960, the year I was given a bus...
by BobBradshaw
21 Feb 2020, 01:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 9800

Re: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)

This is a nom for sure, and I believe a winner... such a charmer...
by BobBradshaw
21 Feb 2020, 01:31
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 9800

Re: Found you Again on Facebook (revision 2)

Yes! Your revision is terrific.... love the ending
by BobBradshaw
20 Feb 2020, 05:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Man on Moon
Replies: 8
Views: 4753

Re: Man on Moon

Thx, Eira
by BobBradshaw
18 Feb 2020, 22:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Man on Moon
Replies: 8
Views: 4753

Re: Man on Moon

Thanks, Siva
by BobBradshaw
17 Feb 2020, 22:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Man on Moon
Replies: 8
Views: 4753

Re: Man on Moon

The only difference is that the first version ended on "shared" instead of "discovered". Let me know which you prefer, shared or discovered, as the last line.

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