New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

Congratulations Bernie
very well done, second place marvellous.

Congratulations to all who were placed from other boards.

Eira So impressed you have worked on this for a year and not afraid to take advice when it agrees with you and change. The quatrains have worked a treat and it looks a lot tidier, not that is so important. I also think Gracy has a point on: "gaping cavity".. It did not jar first time around, but loo...

Gracy, This is the format Michael requires every time a poem is submitted: 1/Your name 2/e-mail address 3/statement that the poem is your original 4/and unpublished work 5/and that you are not representing in the current IBPC 6/and the poem as you would like it forwarded to the finals. ^^ All of the...

Thanks for the help Eira
shows the strength of workshopping I think.

From the poem we are quite unaware of the angry group the letter signed by 50 citizens his indecency the hard time you had putting it right the other emotions you left out of the poem if you don't like my critique ignore it. When workshopping we post our work hoping for comments that improve the poe...

I still wish you well whatever befalls you in this life
and for what you choose to do
with no rancour.

Meena this is excellent up to S9. Pefect punctuation, concise not overly wordy, but then the last three you seem to display a savageness about the character. I might be a little over the top Meena, maybe cut bad the venum a tad would balance the poem a little. For instance: Displays an arrogance, un...

Linda I don't run this site I welcomed you when you arrive and I gave you my best wishes when you decided to leave. I've said nothing bad to you since you've been here, I've tried to help you find your way explaining how to accept a nom. I even spent an hour explaining why we can't sue the dead. I'v...

I am sorry you are leaving Linda and I hope nothing of what I have written has upset you. I find your poem to be 'not my cup of tea' is hardly scathing criticism. I think you will find most poetry workshops will give a variety of views depending on their own experience and likes. I have had my work ...

My image of Marilyn is entirely different to that in this poem, that's why I have refrained so far from commenting. It is a work of fiction and in 1st voice, i.e. the person is speaking in her own voice, not someone else speaking for her. The poem wasn't exactly my cup of tea but that's no reason fo...

Thanks for the honour Ken
You can of course, but I don't think it is ready.

Added a bit to meet demand. I noticed it myself Billy, quite a jar, what to do think. Valid comment, thank you. B. Cox's Bazaar, 75 miles long beach, will that do? and thanks for marvellous input to all of us this month. Quite remarkable. Thanks Bob, went back, tidied up. Thanks G. marvellous crit.,...

Thank you Kenneth
Wasn't sure I'd pitched it right
Battle of Crecy 1346

I remember this from before Eira now cut back severely, I must say I like the removal of the emotional language of before, we don't need promoting the love and the pain comes through at the end. I think you could cut 'in memorial' we get it already. Maybe 'in solar warmth' as well, in the sun, would...

Ten thousand of us trapped in the narrows of the trees, in dire straits with the river running behind, the slope against us promising to funnel the French into that narrow acre. They faced us from the heights, prancing, dancing their mares, gnashing teeth, crashing shields, clashing armour. They cou...

Bob many thanks, to all on the forum really for good advice. It was just a doodle when I first wrote it, now it is taking shape. I don't finish all my poems, but this one I like and shall do as you recommend. If it's not ready for this month maybe next month, but there are so many good poems already...

Hope you read Klingon ole buddy.

I get your meaning Bernie, too much sweetness makes one sick. Okay I have tried to introduces some sombre moments But I fear to expect me to come up with one of your gems maybe a bridge too far. GhIlDeSten Dun DawI' noHmo' tonSaw', loD mu'mey luq, jIHvaD ghojmoH mIw vIparHa'. chaq chotlhejbe'mo' gho...

Thank you
Ieuan

The rib wasn't borrowed Linda, it was removed. The Hebrew word means curved, the curved part of man, some think flank is the proper translation and refers to to side of Adam, all flesh, and made a woman from it, from man. Man made in the glory of God woman made in the glory of man, both made from th...

Thanks you gys Bernie is angling for something a close something dramatic. We used to sit on the back porch with a 40 watt bulb and just listen to the breeze at end of day the bats were awesome, not creepy like some want to portray them no, they squeaked and whistled their way through the shadows si...

We took to Number One, ambled under a wormwood arch, like an old familiar lover with no inhibitions. A corner plot, low wire fences in front of wild mava and peppermint scented pelargonium hedges. Cicadas spat, chirped as we passed through into a large garden surrounded by oak and beech that shaded ...

He was surprised to see the battlefield laid out before him like a huge table cloth with figures charging on one part, flags waving, men dying valiantly, some blown to bits. Cannons to the right of them, cannon to the left of them and cavalry pounding into the jaws of certain death. Smoke covered a ...

Okay, good thoughts there Bernie
thanks for your input.

Ah, yes, I forgot, and here I am giving lessons on punctuation to Siva.

I will work on this for a month, but thanks for input Ken.