Your editing helps, to start with. Did you click on the link and see? am thinking of taking away the personal and treating it like an Ekpharistic piece.
S
Search found 960 matches
- 28 Mar 2020, 14:32
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Paperfall (plus an extended title)
- Replies: 9
- Views: 17049
- 27 Mar 2020, 22:07
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Paperfall (plus an extended title)
- Replies: 9
- Views: 17049
Re: Paperfall (Reworked)
I am going to change this also.The shift in the focus,is not what I want.
- 27 Mar 2020, 22:05
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Paperfall (plus an extended title)
- Replies: 9
- Views: 17049
Paperfall (plus an extended title)
Paperfall- (plus an extended title) The speed of the falling paper cascades in an arc. Speechless, a Japanese girl sits outside the attic window shredding paper. Her performance of white cataract matches her fluffy gown. The sound of paper flows and forms a mound on the ground, as a tributary of pap...
- 27 Mar 2020, 13:35
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Alfred Sisley
- Replies: 5
- Views: 11685
Re: Alfred Sisley
Bob
'thx for your help'
This is partaking.Not ' help' With my little understanding, and my Google Guru,I am able to get to appreciate your poem.Some poems however,I am at a loss.
Siva
'thx for your help'
This is partaking.Not ' help' With my little understanding, and my Google Guru,I am able to get to appreciate your poem.Some poems however,I am at a loss.
Siva
- 27 Mar 2020, 09:45
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Alfred Sisley
- Replies: 5
- Views: 11685
Re: Alfred Sisley
Thanks for this funda.
Please read my reworked version of Paperfall.
Please read my reworked version of Paperfall.
- 26 Mar 2020, 20:43
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Alfred Sisley
- Replies: 5
- Views: 11685
Re: Alfred Sisley
It definely needs one more triolet on a positive note that will bring out the passion of Alfred Sisely. And the last couplet also need one more line, a 'volte (something)
- 19 Mar 2020, 14:09
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Lois Lane In Love
- Replies: 6
- Views: 15777
Re: Lois Lane In Love
I smiled. There are nice and stunningly new word combinations in this poem. One moment caught .
S
S
- 18 Mar 2020, 09:51
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Lois Lane In Love
- Replies: 6
- Views: 15777
Re: Lois Lane In Love
Had to google Lois Lane,but still cannot relate to the nuances.
- 16 Mar 2020, 20:27
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
- Replies: 8
- Views: 17211
Re: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
Bob.
I finished with the searching of the palm leaf oracle.
The last lines are prosaic,but I have never been able to write sheer poetry.
Thank you
Siva
I finished with the searching of the palm leaf oracle.
The last lines are prosaic,but I have never been able to write sheer poetry.
Thank you
Siva
- 16 Mar 2020, 04:08
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
- Replies: 8
- Views: 17211
Re: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
Thank you.
- 15 Mar 2020, 20:19
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
- Replies: 8
- Views: 17211
Re: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
Bob
Shall I end it with the 'unexpectedness?'
Siva
Shall I end it with the 'unexpectedness?'
Siva
- 15 Mar 2020, 20:17
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
- Replies: 8
- Views: 17211
Re: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
Bob
I was writing for that Eclectica four words prompt.Let me see if I can round it off.
S
I was writing for that Eclectica four words prompt.Let me see if I can round it off.
S
- 14 Mar 2020, 22:34
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
- Replies: 8
- Views: 17211
Riding a Bike to Cross the Countryside.
V2 "Biking Cross-Country" We rode past a rubber plantation where we couldn't breathe without inhaling the stench --worse than burning tyres emitting smoke pipes. My brother said, be sure you know what it is. ''This light that comes past the rubber trees is fire.'' And so I recalled the many names of...
- 05 Mar 2020, 06:13
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
- Replies: 9
- Views: 22538
Re: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
Thanks to Michael, Bob and Eira
I was worried that I had done something grieviously wrong. Now I am glad to see 'Laika' marching forward.
Siva
I was worried that I had done something grieviously wrong. Now I am glad to see 'Laika' marching forward.
Siva
- 04 Mar 2020, 22:12
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Athenaeum
- Replies: 1
- Views: 7977
The Athenaeum
V2 Outside the library of Alexandria gaping with a not- so-open mouth more wonderful than the pyramids, more shapely than the sphinx magnificent knowledge bank a dream in concrete, an architect's poetry. Zaharaa says ,''look, this great marvel will take us one half day just to go around the circumfe...
- 04 Mar 2020, 21:45
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
- Replies: 9
- Views: 22538
Re: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
Eira
I withdraw Paperfall,this month as I am already representing another board.
Thank you
Siva Ramanathan
I withdraw Paperfall,this month as I am already representing another board.
Thank you
Siva Ramanathan
- 04 Mar 2020, 20:25
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
- Replies: 14
- Views: 29189
Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2020:
Dear Michael
Please tell me if I am representing the Writer's Block for February. If so,I would like to withdraw the poem.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Regards
Siva Ramanathan
Please tell me if I am representing the Writer's Block for February. If so,I would like to withdraw the poem.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Regards
Siva Ramanathan
- 01 Mar 2020, 21:58
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: (Reworked)Paperfall
- Replies: 4
- Views: 11708
Re: Paperfall
B
I will hink about it when my head is clear.
Thanks
S
I will hink about it when my head is clear.
Thanks
S
- 01 Mar 2020, 20:47
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: (Reworked)Paperfall
- Replies: 4
- Views: 11708
Re: Paperfall
Bob
I retained my original version.Is this any better?
S
I retained my original version.Is this any better?
S
- 29 Feb 2020, 21:57
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: (Reworked)Paperfall
- Replies: 4
- Views: 11708
(Reworked)Paperfall
V4 Paperfall (Reworked) 1 The speed of the falling paper cascades in an arc. The Japanese girl shredding A4 paper is speechless. Her performance of white cataract matching her fluffy gown. 11 Lady! Looking so intense steadfast with scissors amplified sound that paperflows and pyramids as a cone, on ...
- 24 Feb 2020, 21:52
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Boys of Summer
- Replies: 7
- Views: 15477
Re: Boys of Summer
Bob
Your revision gives propulsion to the poem.
I also want to tell you I enjoyed reading it.Now,all the more,after you revision, I will use the present tense and say,I enjoy reading it.
S
Your revision gives propulsion to the poem.
I also want to tell you I enjoyed reading it.Now,all the more,after you revision, I will use the present tense and say,I enjoy reading it.
S
- 24 Feb 2020, 21:52
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Boys of Summer
- Replies: 7
- Views: 15477
Re: Boys of Summer
Bob
Your revision gives propulsion to the poem.
I also want to tell you I enjoyed reading it.Now,all the more,after you revision, I will use the present tense and say,I enjoy reading it.
S
Your revision gives propulsion to the poem.
I also want to tell you I enjoyed reading it.Now,all the more,after you revision, I will use the present tense and say,I enjoy reading it.
S
- 22 Feb 2020, 20:54
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Boys of Summer
- Replies: 7
- Views: 15477
Re: Boys of Summer
Bob I like the way you begin and take the poem forward. But the way you end invokes self pity,you can do without. My father didn't show up at the station to say goodbye. Is a 'douche of cold water on the face.'Avoid the 'if ' questions of self doubt. But keep the last two lines. Even at ten I knew t...
- 18 Feb 2020, 20:58
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Man on Moon
- Replies: 8
- Views: 17094
Re: Man on Moon
To 'discover' is like 'creation' itself, a whole world out there,inviting.
Compared to this,'shared' is a milk and water word,it does not 'vibrate.'
Compared to this,'shared' is a milk and water word,it does not 'vibrate.'
- 17 Feb 2020, 20:48
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Man on Moon
- Replies: 8
- Views: 17094
Re: Man on Moon
Bob
This time also,I missed the first draft.
Siva
This time also,I missed the first draft.
Siva