Search found 2688 matches
- 14 Jun 2020, 00:14
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Heated Glass
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7753
Re: Heated Glass
Thx, Siva. Your comments are helpful
- 13 Jun 2020, 08:09
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Newly Wed Start Their Marriage At The House Of The Groom's Parents
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11219
Re: Newly Wed Start Their Marriage At The House Of The Groom's Parents
Good descriptions. Overall a good poem. A couple suggestions: 1) nose lift s/b face lift 2) but an attached bathroom as if marriage revolved only in these two room sounds a bit off...should it be but an attached bathroom is as if marriage revolves only in these two rooms and for this line and the ro...
- 09 Jun 2020, 07:50
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Grandma in a Bullet Train
- Replies: 2
- Views: 6643
Re: Granda Travels in a Bullet Train
Enjoyed the charming lines about the tricycle, and more. Just a couple small suggestions: 1) change “with the driver” to “and the driver” 2) place a comma after “hair” 3) be more efficient with this line... she was over excited, and she narrated how a tricycle e.g., Grandma excitedly told how a tric...
- 09 Jun 2020, 07:39
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Heated Glass
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7753
Heated Glass
v2: Heated Glass You vanished into your own world--suddenly deaf to my pleas, as if you’d dropped through a trap door. Yet I hoped our marriage, like the glass leaf that once fell from our highest shelf, could be restored. I was prepared to work at it. Shattered glass should never be tossed. In the ...
- 08 Jun 2020, 07:18
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Summer Unnoticed
- Replies: 2
- Views: 6702
Re: Summer Unnoticed
Good poem, Siva. No criticisms.. I enjoyed it all
- 06 Jun 2020, 23:29
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Walking Home After School
- Replies: 1
- Views: 5745
Re: Walking Home After School
Very nice poem, Siva. I enjoyed it. There are some tweaks that I would suggest. 1) Make book plural 2) put a period after "gates" 3) then put a comma after sky, instead of a semicolon 4) put "past" before "the sight"
Best
Best
- 01 Jun 2020, 21:11
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:
- Replies: 5
- Views: 12379
Re: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:
Thank you, Siva Bob Bradshaw bobbybradshw@yahoo.com The poem is my original and unpublished work and I don't have a poem committed to represent another board in the current IBPC. For Your Love From the stroller you lift your arms toward me as if you’re merely stretching after a long nap, but when Gr...
- 01 Jun 2020, 20:32
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:
- Replies: 5
- Views: 12379
Re: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:
I nominate Siva's "Sunrise at...."
- 31 May 2020, 08:03
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Poems that placed in the April IBPC 2020 (Congrats Bob)
- Replies: 2
- Views: 8830
- 30 May 2020, 01:38
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: For Your Love
- Replies: 11
- Views: 18599
Re: For Your Love
Thx, Michael... enjoyed the link
- 29 May 2020, 22:09
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Kissing the Sky, Or Maybe the Sea
- Replies: 0
- Views: 7669
Kissing the Sky, Or Maybe the Sea
Kissing the Sky, Or Maybe the Sea Hendrix sang of kissing the sky. I prefer your kiss. Can clear or misty skies compete with your kiss? I cannot imagine kissing the sky. On my tiptoes, my mouth forever waiting... Unlike your kiss. Swinburne kissed the sea. Did it slam into him-- bent over-- knock hi...
- 26 May 2020, 05:36
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ode to Olive Oil
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10471
Re: Ode to Olive Oil
Thx, Siva
- 25 May 2020, 01:29
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ode to Olive Oil
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10471
Re: Ode to Olive Oil
Thanks, Ken
- 24 May 2020, 20:40
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Purple Cabbage
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10385
Re: The Purple Cabbage
I like the concept and writing. I just find the next to last stanza too convenient, too implausible to happen at just this moment. I would prefer something more subtle to put off the murder...maybe news that her husband has just come from the doctor, her husband a man who doesn't cry but comes home ...
- 23 May 2020, 01:14
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ode to Olive Oil
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10471
Ode to Olive Oil
Ode to Olive Oil We could be standing on the north side of the Acropolis under a cobalt sky, a twisted olive tree leaning towards us. It was here long before we moved in, with silvery grey leaves and feathery white flowers. Tonight we'll enjoy Bistecca alla Fiorentina and a salad enhanced with virgi...
- 23 May 2020, 01:10
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: For Your Love
- Replies: 11
- Views: 18599
Re: For Your Love
I think both do.
- 22 May 2020, 21:24
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7691
Re: Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur
Very nice...your work has paid off well. Only minor touches are needed. nitpick: You need to change "over track" to "over the tracks". Maybe instead of "I thought", make it "I feared"? Also, 2 tmcft if sounded out would be very long...maybe "millions of cubic feet of water" or a more abstract descri...
- 22 May 2020, 21:17
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: For Your Love
- Replies: 11
- Views: 18599
Re: For Your Love
It's to signal to attract the bachelors. Do fireflies experience anything like love? Who knows?
- 21 May 2020, 20:43
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: You Kissed Me
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8921
Re: You Kissed Me
tweaked again
- 20 May 2020, 06:17
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: You Kissed Me
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8921
Re: You Kissed Me
Revised opening stanza
- 18 May 2020, 20:40
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Her Heart was a Taxi Speeding Out of Town
- Replies: 1
- Views: 5448
Her Heart was a Taxi Speeding Out of Town
Her Heart was a Taxi Speeding Out of Town Inheriting a gold mine wasn't better than the day I met Janie. Even when we had no money we never squabbled-- Janie as upbeat as mid-summer. Yet overnight things changed... why? Beneath the surface a world of permafrost formed. What the hell ....Janie looked...
- 18 May 2020, 02:03
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: For Your Love
- Replies: 11
- Views: 18599
Re: For Your Love
It’s a good question, Siva. Now that you raise it, I’m not sure.
- 16 May 2020, 05:57
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: For Your Love
- Replies: 11
- Views: 18599
For Your Love
For Your Love From the stroller you lift your arms toward me as if you’re merely stretching after a long nap, but when Grandma appears you giggle! My jealousy leapfrogs over reason as she takes you into her arms as if you were a bouquet of long stemmed peonies. Oh my little one, how can I steal your...
- 12 May 2020, 23:22
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: You Kissed Me
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8921
You Kissed Me
Say I’m weary, say I’m sad, Say that health and wealth have miss’d me, Say I’m growing old, but add, Jenny kiss’d me. — from Jenny Kiss’d Me by Leigh Hunt v2: You Kissed Me We were worlds apart till you kissed me. I waxed tipsy in your arms. You kissed me. Every fiber in my body looked up, longing f...
- 07 May 2020, 22:05
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Will We Ever Make Our Forest Trips?
- Replies: 4
- Views: 10758
Re: Will We Ever Make Our Forest Trips?
I am not sure why, but the more I read this poem, the more I like it. Because I love animals, especially elephants? Because there’s an understated humor I find charming? Because I like the unexpected turn to rejections? Or how we’re thrown back into our modern world, the wilderness just a video or d...