New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

Ah ha, fair enough. I find it rather sad when I shop for my grandchildren, not many toy wreckers or dump trucks. They want video games.

Revision- Near old photographs of oil fields and dust bowl refugees a Rock-Ola jukebox plays Earnest Tubb. I’m drinking shots, ready to stop driving trucks, to start selling cars for my brother in East Sacramento. The bartender pours another and knows she is striking, a Cherokee maiden with masculin...

I am left wondering who the ‘he’ in the opening line is?

Hi Bob, I am unfamiliar with the life of Mozart so following the story was a bit difficult. For me some of what you said in your last comment injected into the poem would be helpful. I do like the style, use of couplets. The ending is great.

Having grandchildren of my own I can appreciate your story, an endearing tale indeed. For me, it needs to be fleshed out more like a short story. As a poem I think too many of the dots are connected. I will be curious to see where this goes.

OK, just a thought, breasts like small tomatoes, perhaps over used; no bigger than green grapes, no not appealing; crescent moons, I,m thinking distant. The narrator is longing for love, he desires, I want the bridesmaids breasts to be inviting, like some kind of Asian confection, white flour dumpli...

Oh ya, I just saw this on the news the other day, and I always forget about reading titles.

These are are all interesting objects but perhaps need to be more specific in some cases. For example those electrical guitars- a gold top Les Paul, Chet Adkins Gretch and a Rickenbacker bass like Paul played for ‘Fool on the Hill.’ And I want to know why that jock strap is so expensive- worn by Hus...

Ah ha, you have me searching wedding photos, not many black pumps, but there are some. I’m beginning to see it especially on an Asian woman.

Hi Bernie, I like the story very much, the narrator’s jealousy, the final dig at the groom. Frank has left you many valid and thoughtful suggestion I know you will consider. I was only thrown a bit in s2. Loved the toe cleavage, but didn’t understand the black pumps. These don’t seem like a great ch...

An unexpected honor, I’m glad to represent WB with these other outstanding poets. Good luck to all.

Thanks meanas, glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks Bob, your opinion is highly valued.

Thanks for the nomination Bernie. Dale Patterson dalepatterson2666@gmail.com my poem is original, unpublished and not represented in current IBPC The Direction I Walk in the Morning My left leg is longer than the right, orthopedic shoes keep me level. I meet an old friend at Fourth Street Cafe, step...

Thanks for the nomination Bernie. Dale Patterson dalepatterson2666@gmail.com my poem is original, unpublished and not represented in current IBPC The Direction I Walk in the Morning My left leg is longer than the right, orthopedic shoes keep me level. I meet an old friend at Fourth Street Cafe, step...

Thanks Bernie, thrilled that you like it. It got started as I was sitting and looking at all my stuff, thinking I wonder what my children will keep and what goes to the dump. I also thought of going through my parents possessions with my sister, how we each valued different things.

The orange plaid recliner tilts like an astronaut’s chair pushed to the side, askew to the faux walnut bookcase, condensed Reader’s Digests and bundles of Field and Stream double knotted. Two feral cats, one on the cushions, the other with tight weepy eyes, hunt in the piles of cans, the dry rotted ...

Well written and easy to follow. It depicts very well a time when war was depicted in more glamorous ways, romantic, sorrow and pain painted to make the viewer want to be in the picture. Not at all like watching the Viet Nam newsreels in the 60’s and 70’s. Love the dialect, especially love, ‘foot in...

A very respectful and peaceful reflection of passing. I find it interesting to consider what images we retain after a death and passage of time. My grandmother passing a plate of her homemade fudge, grandfathers lunchbox, mother’s crippling shyness, etc. The poem, a plain spoken, straight forward na...

Bernie, so happy you like the revision and honored with your nomination. I began making cuts yesterday and with the aid of your suggestions will surely get it all pulled together. I’m not sure of procedures, but I’m sure there are many nomination, should mine be selected I will be happy to represent...

Thanks Michael, you are most likely correct that the final poem will be a melding of the two versions. My original idea was a simple relationship of two friends. In the second I wanted to go deeper, and reveal a jealousy brought on by the narrators handicap. We will see how it goes from here.

Or perhaps a ‘straw broom’

I read and commented on your poem in another forum, glad to see it here. You have gotten many great suggestions, so I don’t wish to get in the way of your revisions. I do have one nit, when you say, ‘In Haste I strike them with a vacuum cleaner’ I see someone swinging the whole machine through the a...

Thanks frank, you got it, midwestern USA.

Thanks Kenneth, nice to meet you.