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Yep

Terrific piece. The images are imaginative and the closing just right.

Cormorant Fishing Only a cormorant can love a bird like me, goofy looking, with black plumage, and a bill with a hooked tip. Any fish I grab I slip deftly into my pocket, my pouch. If I don't sail back with my catch, my boss drags me back by my roped ankle. A noose loosely tied around my neck guaran...

Good topic.... just thoughts...S1 can be trimmed a bit. I really like S2, and the breaks. s3 is good. s4 can be simplified? s5...Shakespeare doesn't need to be mentioned...we all know it. excites...bears lots of fun...choose one, not both descriptions....enjoyable poem....just needs some simplifying...

Ken, Meenas — thank you for your comments

good point, Michael.....I'll change shaking to quivering

Percy Shelley Mary confessed to me how in St. Pancras' cemetery-- her mother's grave a stone's throw away-- Percy pulled her down, moaning and swearing a loyalty as steadfast as the sky is to land and sea. She was sixteen, and afraid to ask, Had he pledged the same to his pregnant wife, Harriet? As ...

I like your suggestions, how you have simplified the poem, meenas... thank you...

nice... I like S2 the best... love the verb flipped. Agree with Ken.... good restraint.

I have read a number of poems on shooters recently... this one is by far the best

Wow.... terrific and to say the least disquieting... well done!

Splendid writing..not crits...

Well, I really like what you're doing...stretching your skill set, trying new voices. You nail the voice, the local dialect. The details pulled me in, too....love the writing as seen here: I coaxed them with oats and apples, rigged a sling truss in the barn to work their fetlocks, used poultices and...

The 2nd stanza is a stunner...really good. The 3rd and 4th stanzas are good as well... I enjoyed the conversational deftness . I am uncertain how I feel about the 1st stanza... it is clever but not the same tone as the following stanzas. I might cut it. The ghost-cheater ending doesn’t carry the kin...

Ken, I love your suggestions. I will repost with them. The poem is much better with your cuts. Thank you

I am sorry to hear about your cat. We lost our cat, and go was nearly 20 years old, awhile back.... heartbreaking

V2: Let Go I'm like a violin player reading the notes ahead on my perched sheet, even as I’m scraping faster and faster, determined to catch up with the notes. How could I have expected turning towards the kitchen to whisk up an omelet, as I do every morning, to see you toppled over onto the linoleu...

Thx, Michael, for the interesting response. I googled auto Thanatographt, but found the articles confusing. Perhaps you could explain in layman terms... thx

Thanks, guys, for commenting

Just lovely, and so well done! Your best, or one of your best. The way you keep us guessing is a lot of fun. Kudos

Note: now that you're writing at such a high level, I would welcome, and I'm sure others would welcome, constructive criticisms from you on our pieces. Teamwork....thanks, meenas

Love that opening stanza... love the narrator’s strong voice... excellent poem!

I have revised the poem... let me know your thoughts

I like it, especially the ending. My only criticism... to say these lines a bit more simply, conversationally:

the not
so versatile repeat
in chorus a simple line,
' we want rain" competes.

I echo Ken... great to have another poet here. I like some of the phrases, especially “I am a fish”...I am liquid”. Ken is right... toss “Mayest”. I have only seen a couple of the shows... thought they were original and funny... but having only seen 2 shows, I am not qualified to comment on the poem...

V2: Wordsworth on the Second Edition of Lyrical Ballads Dorothy smiles sadly as Coleridge lumbers up the stairs, his losses growing, his heart heaving like a widow's-- William having turned down "Christabel" for the second edition, the poem like a relative too embarrassing to be seen with. Worse, Co...

Bob Bradshaw bobbybradshw@yahoo.com Original and unpublished poem Only for this forum Algernon Charles Swinburne Lean like a flamingo, he boasted a cataract of red hair— but was just as famous for his drunken pratfalls, his poetry accused of being just as confused as he was when sloshing about a roo...