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The last stanza makes this poem work...

I am not available for WB this month, but I am delighted to nominate:
1) Billy’s “She Smiles through the Inevitable”
2) Michael’s “remember September”
3) Ken’s “Devils Courthouse...”

Good from start to finish. No criticisms. The surprise ending delights. A nom from me. Hope you and Billy will accept.

storm cloud moving
through the valley like a black fish,

the dispensation of rain and life,
storm and fire, darkness and thunder.
God cutting a rug with his sweetie.

Good piece. So good to have you back, and to read your work.

Love these 3 lines especially:

Nothing has changed here in a century.
The same derelict wrecks on the bottom,
the same dialectical wheel of gulls.

Hope you'll accept a nom for this...

Michael, Siva -- thank you....

Thanks, Billy

Yep, you nailed a universal experience...who can't like these lines:

a smile
opening larger
like a fully blossoming

flower as I continue to look
without guilt, embarrassed,
in need of nothing more.

Yeah, great line...and everything from this point on is really good.

Health is a faraway land inhabited
by everyone else,

love these lines as well:

The usually talkative nurses
moving in unison as if in a practiced
ritual performed in secret--a secret
we know that doesn't need telling.

Terrific haiku, Michael!

Time to start. You are one of the most talented poets I know...

Thanks, Ken. It's great to see you commenting. I'm looking forward to your poems!

v2: Oscar Wilde in the Hotel d'Alsace As Oscar wandered the streets of Paris, he sought only company to converse with, to talk about anything but memories of prison where at night a blanket rough as whiskers had been his only comfort. Yet it wasn't regrets that had kept him awake. It was the hard pl...

Lovely imagery in the opening and closing stanzas. The summer line... it doesn’t feel necessary

I like the simple, clear language in this revision. Should “one” in S1 be “he”? I think so. For the last stanza I think a slight lead in would help...maybe something along the lines of “when the bland earth again greens”? Think about it...

It’s interesting to read a poem of another culture, another belief system. But I also wanted more, an emotional connection with the narrator. A sense of comfort from faith or tradition, a sense of wonder...the awe of time passed and passing...but I am left with a history lesson. This poem might be b...

Siva, it’s peanut butter & jelly

Good one! I didn’t see that punch to the guy coming... stellar end

I was moved by your story of your mother and sister. Thx for sharing.

Also, your help on this poem made a huge difference. Much thanks

You're very kind, Michael. I appreciate all the support you've provided. I really like "disrobing the ghost"....

Thx, Michael. I like your suggestions, especially the last line. May I ask if your last name is Neff?

Your poem is nominated. Pls post it on the nom page.

v2: A Friend's Wedding Reception I remember looking up at a chandelier with all its glass and lights winking at the bride and groom as they danced in an open clearing on the floor, the guests ooh-ing and ahhh-ing on the perimeter like children seeing a meadow of fireflies ascending from the grass. W...

Thanks, Michael, for your help in getting Siva past her login issues....

I nominate Michael's poem "therefore I am".