Search found 777 matches

by Bernie01
23 Jun 2018, 21:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for publishing
Replies: 31
Views: 41068

Re: Wooden Shed at Laugharne - V4 Final Version

Frank--- the issue is this j ournalist didn't get her facts right. simple as that. and you base a very ugly charge (Dylan beat his wife) on that cribbed account. published online, not in a newspaper of record. And even the cribbed account does not say that Dylan beat his wife---that is simply your ...
by Bernie01
23 Jun 2018, 02:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Marital Adventures
Replies: 11
Views: 16302

Re: Marital Adventures

M---


especially appreciate the comment about sequencing.

i gave especial attention to that element of this poem.


bernie
by Bernie01
23 Jun 2018, 01:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for publishing
Replies: 31
Views: 41068

Re: Wooden Shed at Laugharne-V3

Frank---


Francesco, the son of Caitlin and Giuseppe Fazio was born well after the death of Dylan Thomas...he had no first hand information about the domestic life of Caitlin and Dylan, more, he never says that his mother told him Dylan beat her.

the poem is yours, the facts are not.



bernie
by Bernie01
22 Jun 2018, 04:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Marital Adventures
Replies: 11
Views: 16302

Re: Marital Adventures

hullo Frank--- rewriting, fussing, never satisfied: 14 May 1953 The first stage performance of Under Milk Wood, at the Poetry Center, NY. Liz Reitell recalled: “The curtain was going to rise at 8.40. Well, at 8.10 Dylan was locked in the back room with me. And no end to Under Milk Wood. He kept say...
by Bernie01
22 Jun 2018, 01:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Marital Adventures
Replies: 11
Views: 16302

Re: Marital Adventures

Bob--- thanks. i urge others to doggedly rewrite, took my own advice. swallowed my own medicine. and a little francoise hardy...her image of a ship, and others made me think.....now, she said quarter moon---thinking still about that. https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video;_ylt=Awr9IkqN.itbvWUAO...
by Bernie01
21 Jun 2018, 06:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Iolo's Stand - V3
Replies: 15
Views: 19809

Re: Iolo's Stand - V3

Frank--- great idea. I see a young woman rubbing a muscled right arm of a warrior. her hand traces a large scar. the man's dog at their feet, but vigilant, we back away and see his bow. the fire is low, it is almost sunrise. he stands, she does not release his arm and is pulled slowly, reluctantly,...
by Bernie01
21 Jun 2018, 02:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Iolo's Stand - V3
Replies: 15
Views: 19809

Re: Iolo's Stand - V3

Frank--- the ecstasy of gold, from the movie w clint eastwood. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pyZt-BsgnI&list=RD4niv522mbtM&index=8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkM71JPHfjk&list=RD4niv522mbtM&start_radio=1 good bad and ugly with danish national orchestra whistler, soprano, clap board, female c...
by Bernie01
20 Jun 2018, 22:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Daguerreotype of Edgar Allan Poe - August version
Replies: 14
Views: 21088

Re: A Daguerreotype of Edgar Allan Poe, 1849 - June version

a tough choice, but I think V5.

glad to see you stay with this troubled man and get the poem you wanted for him.


bernie
by Bernie01
20 Jun 2018, 21:59
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Marital Adventures
Replies: 11
Views: 16302

Re: Marital Adventures

Guys---

the aged lion in winter, feeling romantic.


bernie
by Bernie01
20 Jun 2018, 04:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Iolo's Stand - V3
Replies: 15
Views: 19809

Re: Iolo's Stand - V2

As the Romans abandoned Pretania, the Frisian raiders invaded the undefended Brittainy coast bringing new slaughter and mayhem. They made sacrifice to their gods by cutting out the pulsing lungs of victims to form angels wings. i suggest making this a little less like a history lesson with dates......
by Bernie01
20 Jun 2018, 03:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Marital Adventures
Replies: 11
Views: 16302

Marital Adventures

V-1 My wife kisses slowly, A fortune teller with secrets At each turn of the cards. I kiss back, Indian Summer Opens for us in gold leaves Under frail, wandering stars. Love folds us in stupor, We are picnickers lolled On the grass of a city park. She is a Courvoisier Napoleon Running inside my brai...
by Bernie01
20 Jun 2018, 02:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: One Of A Macabre
Replies: 10
Views: 15838

Re: One Of A Macabre

M--- we met four years ago. you wrote this poem: The Umbilical Cord -- Invisible A Year After Three hours from the last one the baby had to be fed. Unusual of all times the baby , Veda, slept Maitiri, the mother was fast asleep while the hours eloped in speed milk from Maitiri's bosom tripped, drop...
by Bernie01
19 Jun 2018, 00:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Daguerreotype of Edgar Allan Poe, 1849 -- revised
Replies: 26
Views: 34710

Re: A Daguerreotype of Edgar Allan Poe, 1849 -- revised

Bob: Ah, V4 works far better for me. ....thin, closed lips. Two years before his child bride and wife of eleven years, Virginia-- might reconsider: Virginia-- --as charming as a robin singing at dawn-- of blood. But when that first small drop trembled on her lower lip, Poe had assured her it was ju...
by Bernie01
16 Jun 2018, 20:31
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for publishing
Replies: 31
Views: 41068

Re: Wooden Shed at Laugharne-V3

Frank--- version 3 is smooth. but i ask again, what is the source for this: ...in drink, debauched in decadence he beat Caitlin for her troubles, beat that beautiful woman, beat the devil in . but still no indication that he was a rock star poet, no indication of his humor, self abnegation, long ma...
by Bernie01
15 Jun 2018, 22:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: One Of A Macabre
Replies: 10
Views: 15838

Re: One Of A Macabre

M--- clever, exceptional. That is his procedure, governed by integers the accounting practice commensurate with his tactics but i want a plot. your poem does not delight and shiver me, your poem seems to request admiration, but not counsel for the broken hearted, the estranged and dumped. poetry lo...
by Bernie01
15 Jun 2018, 22:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for publishing
Replies: 31
Views: 41068

Re: Wooden Shed at Laugharne

Frank--- he died in new york. 1953. Caitlin in this marvelous and lashing interview with Vincent Kane, says she went to see him, drunk on the plane. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQzcQ1KVFaM ushered in to him, and Dylan silent under an oxygen tent, she sat and and rolled a cigarette.... no, no ki...
by Bernie01
15 Jun 2018, 20:54
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for publishing
Replies: 31
Views: 41068

Re: Wooden Shed at Laugharne

Frank--- better, but still much too long. and too many warblers.... and the symphony of the sedge warbler's call, an infinite variety of songs in series, ratchet trills and warbled peeps. No one warbler's-call the same, and other uses of the words later in the poem. still seems flat. this man was o...
by Bernie01
14 Jun 2018, 19:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The First Time I Drank With My Father
Replies: 9
Views: 15628

Re: The First Time I Drank With My Father

Kenneth: This poem never forgets to introduce plot . the idea, in the title and last verse, that a tension exists between son and father---the reasons are not given, good. not needed. the poem is almost savage in its building and compilation of facts, history and mood. a great triumph here, a memora...
by Bernie01
13 Jun 2018, 21:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Man Smoking Cigarette at the Beach
Replies: 8
Views: 14192

Re: Man Smoking Cigarette at the Beach

Revision (2) And now sad to say it is too short we are left wanting prose....Frank OK, Frank, here's more...bernie His cigarette smoke is pushed softly by burrows of wind to ocean cliff diners gathered to parse grilled mussel, they order bass under rippled umbrellas and flags, among orders for a ca...
by Bernie01
13 Jun 2018, 21:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for publishing
Replies: 31
Views: 41068

Re: Wooden Shed at Laugharne

Frank---



ah, there's your poem.....


bernie
by Bernie01
13 Jun 2018, 04:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Puffins
Replies: 9
Views: 13848

Re: Puffins

Bob:


sweet, adult and replete with warmth.


i like the tenderness that the poem uses to tell the story. the details, the contrasts and insights.


bernie
by Bernie01
13 Jun 2018, 04:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for publishing
Replies: 31
Views: 41068

Re: Shed at Laugharne

I had not seen this film about Dylan, just magnificent.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDAXkhTwTFM






bernie
by Bernie01
11 Jun 2018, 22:33
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for publishing
Replies: 31
Views: 41068

Re: Shed at Laugharne

Frank--- not a cooperative subject---distance, language and poetry. ,. . . on a clifftop overlooking a brick built boathouse painted lemon. No ty bach here. what does this mean? distance does not improve the heart....i wish to see the man, to become engaged quickly....no what i mean? The poet once ...
by Bernie01
10 Jun 2018, 01:40
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for publishing
Replies: 31
Views: 41068

Re: Wooden Shed sat opn a Hill at Laugharne

Frank---- telly. poem runs the risk of becoming maudlin, making thomas boring... let's hear the rage....feel the man. what smells can you offer? he liked cockle and bacon chowder. frying sausage. nights curled with his wife against the wind, a short glass of Penderyn single malt...finishing with a ...
by Bernie01
08 Jun 2018, 20:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Teuton Golden Haired Maiden
Replies: 5
Views: 9372

Re: Teuton Golden Haired Maiden

Frank--- the first 11 or 12 lines daze and blur. here's the pom: There she was browned, with sweat gathered in the dimple of her back, downy hair sun-goldened that disappeared into her bikini and it was as if all foot traffic stalled as it came across her, stalled, slowed to take in, glance and bas...