New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

Sister Valeria And so she made me stay with her for two years teaching me how to look at and for objects. — the hazy achieved preciseness like the focusing of a lens. wavering lights became static liquid solid. Valeria was my looking glass, my pair of German lenses both convex and concave; she showe...

While the house slept at noons mostly, we played indigenous doctor compounder, not nurse ; crushed flowers, leaves, roots on stone using stone to grind, filled the concoction in bottles so that the bottle assumed the colour of the liquid but we took care not to drink our own medicine only often maki...

In the mid-portion there was a shallow washing place. The steps, the verandah threw us into an old fashioned Brahmin house. Above the shallow there was an open glass to let in light. The roof stood on four pillars on the four corners of the washing space which had moveable glass panes above to permi...

The second nomination

I suggest we nominate Michael's 'triad.'

Michael,
Thank you and please edit this version. Yoly,are you there? I am experimenting,so I am not confident about the changes.

I do not have any other poem representing another house,this month.This is my poem, and it is unpublished.I am Sivakami Velliangiri,and my e-mail id is sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com The Cathartic Effect Of A Butoh Dancer Atsushi Takenouchi unwinds slowly like a robot keyed up let loose on a spring. ...

Edit-5 Train At Three Levels the first 'thrain' lisped from your stories, how as a child you enlarged two anna coins on the tracks with the weight of the Salem Express then tossed into the pulp of the Cauvery for the peace of your ancestors; the poet in me borrowed it and I made it all mine as a you...

Michael
I like this version better than the previous one. I think you are experimenting with new styles.Beyond that I am not able to suggest any
variations.

Frank This whole chunk reads very prosaic. If you do not want to work on it please post another poem. At one time in the British prison system Governors and planners Arranged their prisons so that prisoners were seperated throughout the day and night. This system brought peace there were no fights, ...

My thanks are due to Frank Dyer for his first interest,, though the final edit is Yoly’s. Michael for having faith in the poem and recommending it. I also applaud the warm camaraderie in the groups and feel good to have so many poet friends. My Thanks are also due to: Right from Cassky, Alison, Mar(...

Frank
I am merely trying to push this up,meaning raise it to the top of the forum.

The burned Joan didn't they(They burnt Joan,didn't they?

Frank
Thanks for reading.

they dragged me inside,
congratulating unnecessarily.
Look at the me in the previous line; one ‘me’ is enough.

on a tainted skirt.
I have used this in a general sense.

Amma I have used the capital and italicized

Edit-3 The Sky Blue Convent Uniform One evening I was playing, running between trees when Amma came up with a rolled ball of my pinafore and a hoard of relatives walking behind saying, `'Yes yes, it is the sure thing, your daughter has rained a shower of flowers.' And the women dragged me inside, co...

Yoly
I have a better poem than this.I will find it for you.

Yoly
I wish you would say something on the craft of the poem. I wrote it in one go,but Frank has put it into couplets.
I do not know how many poems I can post in this forum in a week. I wish I could post a few more.

Yoly
It is what my manuscript is about.It has to become a book of poems.
Thanks.

Frank
The whole 'poem' is very prosaic.There are snatches of poetry here and there. You are not inside the soul of the poem.It sounds like reportage.
Please don't give up trying.I have not even kept a copy of the original poem so I do not know where you have edited.

Frank Please don't misunderstand.This poem has potential.Just don't give up on the editing. I consider the poem ready for publication. I know when a poem is ready for nomination.At least I know when a poem is a poem, and this just isn't. The second part reads like this At one time in the British pri...

I wondered if this poem is good enugh to go forward for the next IB thing? Frank Why would you want that? It is but at the larva stage.This poem has to not merely grow, but transform itself, before it can sprout wings and fly. When we write a poem we do it out of sheer necessity,because the words wi...

Frank Forgive me for this nonsense,but I could not resist. Better riots than a thousand howling madmen baying at the moon; They burned Joan, didn't they hung her out on her own gibbet, long ago didn't they? I assumed that each was in his own cell grinning from his own pigeon hole going about with hi...

Frank
read this through.But it needs more readings.

Most of the inmates had
bec(o)[a]me raving lunatics.

The last couplet fascinates me.What a nice way it would be, if you began with those lines.

Frank
I am thinking.As a long narrative poem we are led into the story.But if you looking for impact then a shorter version of this would hit the reader,pat.

Frank
I think a re-ordering of the stanzas will be able to bring out the pathos.To begin with the flames that lick ,and then to carry the story forward will make it more involving.

Frank
Thanks for the work-shopping.

(Once) (a)Again I’m cycling the Dry Dock Road[.] (t)The alarm rattles in its tin creating bedlam for a moment in the darkness Dispair(despair) at the early call longing to stay in the warm I dress hurridly in the damp air(,) make Nescafe in a flask, add sugar [and] heave Dad's home-guard haversack ...