New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

Bob---


double, is it triple duty? in any case, i l have closely studied your comments and attempted to edit this pom accordingly.


many thanks.


bernie

Bob---

a fast and satisfying read...only this seemed out of place---a phrase that didn't seem the era of VVG.


His pretense of being
a better man because he preached
while I sketched nudes
pissed me off.
What did the SOB know
about art?

how do you feel about your poem now?


bernie

Michael--- sorry, lost touch here...if not too late My work and not representing another Forum. Unpublished. Bernard Henrie mojave216Bernard@aol.com 323-338-4706 Japanese Wings Hiroyoshi shows a photograph; She wears western clothes, dark velvet, I think, to the ankles suitable for an orchestra or b...

M---


so that it can be
just like once
upon a great
warm white wind
sistine fingers lingering all around


think this verse is the most like a Debussy passage that inspired her.


Clair de Lune

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uKVI6_Fm4g



bernie

Revision 2 She watched Debussy like a bird with a morsel. I felt hypnotized by the rhythmic hammers of his piano, the burl wood bathed my face like candlelight. When he showed me Camille’s gift, a sculpture named La Valse--- dancers frozen in a moment of joy; I felt the electro-magnetism so many tal...

well, i've muddied the waters.... so, a little more history of this poem...remember this IBPC judge likes a poem that establishes a clear place, two years ago, the same judge had this to say.... the judge: Sometimes detail, even fresh and wonderful sensory detail, can be simply dumped on readers to ...

Frank--- my posting error. intended this poem to continue our discussion about setting a firm, CLEAR PLACE THAT OUR CURRENT ibpc JUDGE HE FAVORs I WONDERED IF I DID THAT IN THIS OLD POM.... BUT YOU KNOW ME, I COULDn't HELP MAKING A CHANGE OR TWO...S I POSTED. I TOO FAVOR BROWN AS A SEPOY... AND THO...

They shot a naked man howling in a barricaded house. Neighbors said he harmed no one and expertly clipped his lawn into the night like an emergency room doctor putting in stitches on graveyard shift. I wish we talked before things went so bad, spoke together here in South Chicago of father Gandhi an...

Frank--- sorry, i had to break off before adding a final line or so. the poem sets a table---invites guests---now for a final spark of adventure, something to remember. ...As the last udder is emptied, a halo of light descends from the loft window to circle my thorn-crowned head, and it is finished...

Frank--- i learn by reading the best poetry i can find, then thinking about it in detail. here, SECOND PLACE Waiting for the Second Coming by Jim Doss Wild Poetry Forum The cattle are lowing but there’s no baby in the manger. Christmas day dawns cold and bright without a star to follow or Wise Men ...

Bob--- the IBPC judges, to the man and to the woman, are widely published and wonderful reflections of the standards of poetry magazines. what our judges determine as good, better and BEST, is publishable quality. two poems that demand attention and respect. Congratulations. I happily add my voice ...

M---

a melancholy tone, i think of aging---and ask what use all our learning.

excellent poem.


bernie

Street Scenes Many are broken, uneven on their feet, nameless, homeless passing along streets. A violin sounds, the sun turns away. Winter beats put down by Notorious B.I.G. In the city, or worse. And the crazy. Imagine, Oscar Wilde, driven half mad, the crime, the name we dare not speak, a witness...

Frank--- love the final verse... could we reduce---avoid the super precious small talk: In the sleeping meadow an island of sun warms grass sways wafting baked greetings onto my lips a kiss from God Scots pines cool with brown trout that pout among the shingle and polished stones A lark sings she wa...

Bob --- A wonderful poem that illustrates most of what i feel about poetry: understated emotion, a layered narrative plot that unfolds and reveals itself with each new verse, and showing, showing showing... the poem begins with a novel image that is both familiar and new because it is shared so int...

Wings Hiroyoshi shows a photograph; She wears western clothes, dark velvet, I think, to the ankles suitable for an orchestra or ballroom; severe jacket, an oversize brass chrysanthemum at the lapel. Hiroyoshi and I fly everyday; my uniform hangs down like his in the humid press of the jungle. Overhe...

Wings Hiroyoshi shows a photograph; She wears western clothes, dark velvet, I think, to the ankles suitable for an orchestra or ballroom; severe jacket, an oversize brass chrysanthemum at the lapel. Hiroyoshi and I fly everyday; my uniform hangs down like his in the humid press of the jungle. Overhe...

Frank--- long narrative---for a pom. a fight. and this after Rocky and Raging Bull. .....(Raging Bull is the prime of Robert De Niro's career, it is his greatest performance.) the ending, cloys. the devil made him do it. resist, resist, telling a PG novel. the pom....long, as i mentioned, for a poe...

Bob---


top of the line original.


a fast narrative that always maintains focus.

bernie

Frank----

thought i accepted mucho days ago,,,,,


bernie

Frank--- want to make another pass? an eye for the weak, the static visual, the jump in narrative. no. fine. yes, swell. I take a bite from my pasty. A yogi stands naked nearby, oddly with an umbrella - people bow to the divine in him, and he as brown as betel juice. why not speak affirmatively? as...

Frank--- i think the revision improves on an already excellent poem. the stepping over phrase did not alarm me, but pasty does. beaudcoup. we ain't got that here...in the US. is it a sandwich...a meat sandwich....? then i prefer to say... meat sandwich. our new IBPC judge (and many current poets) p...

Frank--- five stars. Red Carpet. Palm d'Or. Tone, detail, narrative flow. I step over a yoki lying in the gutter, smooth, clear declarative opening. location, is also suggested. very economical sentence. I continue to eat my corned meat pasty, an import - Peter's Pies, dead to his plight as he to m...

Frank--- I rode with him, no casket covered in flowers and herbs to the foreigner's grave yard, my mind work on this: I rode with the open casket, flowers formed a necklace around the dead man's neck. to use dead man , to use corpse , or his form, his sleeping presence. ....? i wonder which i would...