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I'm just trying to put Michael's arithmetic in order,

25% would mean you came somewhere in the last 1350.

Your poem was placed much better than that, between a fraction of one percent and almost 4 percent.

Some deep thoughts there Michael, It is an ekphrastic based on a film clip.. The clue is in the title. The music is incidental to the plot, although crucial to bring out the pathos. It's a comedy, although insulated from all mirth, a twisted view of America, capitalism, gangsterism, and drug culture...

It's an ekphrastic Meena, yes, spot on. American neo-noir 2012.

Siva reached the top 3.7%

at worst 3.7%
if she came 4th then 7/100 of one percent

so between 7/100 x 1% and 3.7% depending on her actual placing.

Thanks Michael, I have addressed.

Something similar from : Mark Vagenaar, Voodoo of Ash, University of Wisconsin 2012 p. 46-47 poem: Gacela of the Bright Omen. Things in common: gacela, moon, ash.

Yes, fullest - noun and adjective, common English Usage - standard grammar. http://www.dictionary.com/browse/full Another way of looking at English usage is filling a balloon. Is the balloon full you may ask, yes it is full, but is it at it's fullest? well it could take more so its full but not at i...

Overwhelmed by the power of the ocean

a poem ghazal, very neatly laid out Meena.

Vast improvement in your presentation

and attention to detail.

No nits, very good and reflects the awe many experience at their first sight of the sea.

Love Letters Edward Heyman (lyrics) - Victor Young (music), Song: Love Letters, 1945 Sung by Ketty Lester 1982 Jackie Cogan: 'They cry, they plead, they beg, they piss themselves, they cry for their mothers. It gets embarrassing. I like to kill 'em softly; from a distance.' Film: 'Killing Them Soft...

What are laterns?

Or, as I say, you and me. [not keen on this refrain] Bouquet wine on the white table. The wind unpacks the restaurant closed in winter months, wind ripples the awning like a flag in a drying French lake, [metaphors galore ] or, as I say, you and me. Distant radio in the dining room, voices thin as a...

Siva

These things happen, cross communication.

Bernie is one of my favourite poets too.

Bernie, I did not do you poem justice let's see if I cna give a decent critique.

I cannot quite get into this poem Bernie, sorry.

Billy

if you are in a slump, write of what you know.

You have written some good poems in the past,

try reading other people's work for a spark and if nothing comes try ekphrastics.

Reminds me of: 'You're Never Alone with a Strand'.

Thanks Bernie

I value the detached eye, ouch that hurt, detached eye. :0 )

Yes, point well made, shall remove.

Its about cooked now Meena.

I will nominate as soon as Michael opens the monthly thread
for Palaver. Maybe Michael has some thoughts?

Well done.

He might suggest some tweaks, bear in mind how much Siva
had to do with her last poem for the IBPC
it was never ending.

Okay, when you post please place in first box, with date:

Redraft: 12 Oct 12016
or
Revision 12 Oct

best wishes with this poem
p.s. strangle is the weakest word, maybe struggle is better?

Thank you for allowing me to work on this Meena.
The poem is almost ready so no big changes please.

I am going to nominate this Meena. If successful I am going to let others punctuate this with you. It needs a few commas, here and there to make easier reading, some might disagree. Suggest you don't make any big changes, but some words do need tweaking. See if you can find them. :) It is best if yo...

Yes we got tht ken because her clothes had gone,

nevertheless would they be so flippant, wouldn't they have missed their mother in some way?

i.e. not joked about it.

Just a thought.

It could be tidied up a bit, I read the original from 2012 there seems to be errors in transmitting. Whenever someone came up missing [went missing not: came up missing] in our town, folks were quick [suggest: quick to think of the river, why the break at quick?] to blame the river. Men would load u...

I have cut to the core Bob, it might be an improvement.

But thanks, sorry for coming back so late.

This is a good poem.

Probably good enough for poem-of-the week somewhere grand.

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