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thanks

Bob St Remys


Dale Eugenics

2nd on Welsh Cakes

They say he was ten feet tall had seven toes and fingers on each hand and foot. Judaculla "the slant eyed one " was the Cherokee god of the hunt, the harvest, and of judgement. Eight hundred years. The People populated this area until they made contact with Europeans. I feel their ghosts sometimes. ...

Thanks. Nothing I have posted this month I'm interested in

Well be sure to correct the typo on "breeding"

Dale. Like to nom this...

I work on a lake. It's not small, though has many coves. This resonates with me. Ever hear of Lake Toxaway?

Nailed it. One of my IBPC picks

I like the concept. As if one is addressing unreachable parts of oneself.

Relatable.

I'm not sure "eugenics" is really the word you're looking for here. Historically, in the US it was about forced sterilization of "undesirables.
That is how most will relate to the term.

I'll come back later to crit

Well, I'm not tryna make a riddle, but admittedly, rough terrain.

Good

Yeah. Nothing else makes that sound

Yeah. Nothing else makes that sound

Suicide came after the heart attack when N was still in the hospital

This is my pick for IBPC. See my comments on the other forum as well

Dale excising the lung/bible line
kinda makes "to preach" in S5 stick out. I will reiterate my vote to keep both. Iron lung works because it alludes to a terminal illness and we know nothing of the brother

Thank you

Thanks Dale. I'm going to break character and just ask.

Does it come though that N's wife
died by suicide?

Years of neglect, the lines feeding the main pump failed,forcing the inverter to siphon air and backwash. It wasn't like they say: down the left arm, sharp chest pains. It was sweaty and clench- jawed, more like a pulled muscle . They stripped veins from one leg dangled them from a hemostat like ove...

Final tweak

Most compelling is how the grief in the poem is understated. Putting her hands in the jacket to warm them against the cold wind and being surprised to find a piece of hard candy, is a delicate touch. Implied is she popped it in her mouth,turned and went in the house. I say don't change anything. I w...

This reminds me of the Navajo storyteller whose job it was (is) to instruct the youth.

There is an ancient voice and simplicity.

The peach tree threw me a bit. Usually associated with GA. Unless it has some significance, might change that. Minor.

On overall good piece. Authentic

Thank you Bob for the kind words