Search found 181 matches
- 19 Sep 2018, 02:15
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Elk Grove Industrial Park 1965
- Replies: 8
- Views: 13848
Elk Grove Industrial Park 1965
Factory girls in coffee stained blouses with cigarette burns listen to transistor radios as they ride city buses into the park. Working the lines they sit on grey stools with their feet off the ground, count hose clamps and put them in cartons. Their boyfriends drive forklifts in circular routes, lo...
- 19 Sep 2018, 02:10
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Bobo The Chimp Types - revised (2)
- Replies: 9
- Views: 15730
Re: Bobo The Chimp Types
I love the oddity of this. I wonder if more of the chimp qualities might come out, you know less human more monkey. He hunts and pecks with the tips of his fingers, screams when the carriage bell rings.
- 19 Sep 2018, 02:00
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Camille - Asile de Montevergues (1914)
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10627
Re: Camille - Asile de Montevergues (1914)
Great story telling, it makes me want to know more.
- 19 Sep 2018, 01:55
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Under Other Stars
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7222
Re: Under Other Stars
Great poem Ken, your mother sounds like a wonderful woman. The ending so abrupt and so spot on.
- 03 Sep 2018, 18:29
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Congratulations Ken for 1st place June Ibpc 2018
- Replies: 5
- Views: 14639
Re: Congratulations Ken for 1st place June Ibpc 2018
Congratulations Ken, great poem I remember when you first posted it.
- 02 Sep 2018, 18:25
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming September IBPC 2018:
- Replies: 18
- Views: 35724
Re: Upcoming September IBPC 2018:
I second Bob’s Angel Island
Nominate Frank’s, Christmas in Wales
Nominate Frank’s, Christmas in Wales
- 02 Sep 2018, 18:21
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Doubt Wears a Necktie (revision)
- Replies: 14
- Views: 20382
- 02 Sep 2018, 18:17
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Last Day
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7393
Re: The Last Day
This is an interesting biblical story. The original genesis account leaving so many openings to imagine and expand the story. The creation of Eve, so abstract, yet the whole bible story so unimaginable. Like Ken’s version, nicely done.
- 31 Aug 2018, 19:43
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Panhandler with Cat
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7217
Re: Panhandler with Cat
Great image Bob, nicely done.
- 31 Aug 2018, 19:41
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: After The Beasts
- Replies: 9
- Views: 14469
Re: After The Beasts
Ah, Adam and Eve, now this is working. I think perhaps it would aid understanding if their was a stronger clue in the title.
- 31 Aug 2018, 19:36
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Doubt Wears a Necktie (revision)
- Replies: 14
- Views: 20382
Re: Doubt Wears a Necktie
Hi Frank, I see this man as a rule keeper, the church good at establishing its rules of fellowship, no dancing, cards, modest dress, etc. Different rules for different denomination, but rules. In his observance of rules he seems pious to others. In reality he too has his hidden vices (whiskey.) only...
- 29 Aug 2018, 23:54
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: After The Beasts
- Replies: 9
- Views: 14469
Re: After The Beasts
Very interesting,deep and will require more reading. On the surface I see a wounded soldier,but then I not sure.
- 29 Aug 2018, 23:48
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Doubt Wears a Necktie (revision)
- Replies: 14
- Views: 20382
Re: Doubt Wears a Necktie
Thanks Ken, you are right about weight on his shoulders, I will work to revise.
There is a deeper vein to this simple poem. It’s about Christian faith, how it often wears a costume of piety, hides sin.
There is a deeper vein to this simple poem. It’s about Christian faith, how it often wears a costume of piety, hides sin.
- 29 Aug 2018, 23:45
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Doubt Wears a Necktie (revision)
- Replies: 14
- Views: 20382
Re: Doubt Wears a Necktie
Thanks Bob
- 28 Aug 2018, 02:59
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Doubt Wears a Necktie (revision)
- Replies: 14
- Views: 20382
Re: Doubt Wears a Necktie
Thought vial looked wrong, saw the ‘s but forgot to change it.
The poem is about the appearance of faith amid doubts, yet faith endures. I want the message to be obscure, but there if you look.
The poem is about the appearance of faith amid doubts, yet faith endures. I want the message to be obscure, but there if you look.
- 27 Aug 2018, 22:57
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Stretto di Messina
- Replies: 13
- Views: 19970
Re: Stretto di Messina
Ah, I was sort of seeing that, but not trusting my instincts. I wonder if that section could be clarified to help the reader? Love the connection of eating oysters and the cruise women.
- 27 Aug 2018, 20:56
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Doubt Wears a Necktie (revision)
- Replies: 14
- Views: 20382
Doubt Wears a Necktie (revision)
Revision- To avoid the appearance of evil he wears a grey suit and a burgundy tie. His neighbor’s vile tongue is a lesson in patience he teaches his daughter. His truth has a crumbling edge the observance of ritual that numbs the observer. He prays before dinner, pleads for the lost and then asks fo...
- 27 Aug 2018, 20:49
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Snowy Egret
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8501
Re: Snowy Egret
Nicely written Bob, I like the irony of the crane, a symbol for long life, and the grandfather outliving his wife.
- 27 Aug 2018, 20:40
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Stretto di Messina
- Replies: 13
- Views: 19970
Re: Stretto di Messina
The descriptions of geography are very poetic and pleasing. My lack of knowledge concerning the working of ships however makes it hard to fully understand the story. It seems that just before reaching safe harbor the storm has caused the engines to fail , then upon looking to repair them a stash of ...
- 18 Aug 2018, 00:32
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Penitent
- Replies: 7
- Views: 11765
Re: Nineveh
Hi Ken, you have done an excellent job in retelling one of my favorite bible stories, well done. Since this is such a well known story the parts that held my attention most were those where you filled in the blanks with your own ideas. Certainly this is an excellent write and can stand as it is, but...
- 16 Aug 2018, 02:55
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: After Dinner- now titled- Cast Iron
- Replies: 17
- Views: 24929
Re: After Dinner- now titled- Cast Iron
Thanks Michael, I’ve incorporated some of your suggestions.
- 16 Aug 2018, 02:29
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Max the Queensland Cattle Dog
- Replies: 5
- Views: 9662
Re: Max the Queensland Cattle Dog
Not expecting the dog to be the narrator, interesting perspective, nicely done.
- 16 Aug 2018, 02:24
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Renegade Relapse
- Replies: 6
- Views: 10989
Re: Renegade Relapse
Great story.
- 16 Aug 2018, 02:23
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Chinese Immigrant, Stuck on Angel Island, 1933
- Replies: 20
- Views: 25645
Re: Chinese Immigrant, Stuck on Angel Island, 1933
Nicely written Bob, great story. I like how either the paper daughter or paper son are his vehicle to citizenship, a vehicle that if rejected becomes the folded paper boat that sinks with his dreams.
- 13 Aug 2018, 02:43
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Herrineren - Revised 10 August [with introductary passage]
- Replies: 10
- Views: 17853
Re: Herrineren - Revised 10 August
I guess I’m wondering, is he talking to his son, is there a photo of his wife on the nightstand, is he in a nursing home, in his own home, something that helps put me into the scene.