New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

I recommend Michael's 'Victorio's Secret' and Billy's 'this is me' for the July IBPC.
Siva

Michael

Your 'minimalist' poems are posted only when they reach perfection.Enjoyed reading and also smiled at the undercurrent humour in it.

Siva

Michael and Billy
I feel happy that both your poems have gone.And I am also happy that my poem ,"The Birthing of Snakes" has not gone, because it has not been worked on.I was away from our group for a week or so and that is why I did not see Rus's message. There will be better poems later on.
Siva

Sorry,did not see this thread.If there is still time ,then I would like to send my poem ,The Birthing of Snakes'.It is my unpublished poem.My e-mail id is sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com The Birthing Of Snakes He began going to the Black MarieAmman around and around the snake pit, as I swallowed the r...

''The father will save you,''
is that a Biblical reference?

I thought that chunk of a paragraph could pass off as a prose poem,but after several readings it reads like bad prose.So I have removed it.
I will be more careful in future before posting.
S

Billy
Thanks.for your suggestions.Can you please read this once more?

Billy
I thought of Donne when I read your first line.
How can I love you
The poem is compact,though I don't get the image of the man with the gun.Keep it as it is.Michael usually has some edit points.I have been reading this so many time but the meaning still remains obscure.
S

This is automatic writing.You should edit it.

The sisters of the Holy Angels, sisters self imprisoned, self sacrificed, in the alter of God, voluntarily. Only some hear the calling others flee the insecure world and rush into cloisters; confused, they go into retreat hoping to find divine answers. But a few follow the voice, lose their own and ...

1980 The Black–MarieAmman Temple Devotees struggle to the ant hill temple and the undisturbed snakes inside---they lug in offerings of milk and eggs, fangs puncture holes in these eggs until the yellow and white stream down; you picked up a small kernel of muck and swallowed but I could not even go ...

Michael
I am not able to edit this immediately.Maybe early next week. I would like to keep your lines

lethargic as a photo shoot
put to rest on a living room table

Thank you Michael for the coaching.I agree with you.It is too wordy.I have seen your poem and read it many times previously.

Billy I wrote this after reading a news paper cutting. See this link https://www.google.co.in/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=10&cad=rja&ved=0CHgQtwIwCQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fibnlive.in.com%2Fnews%2Ffarmer-suicides-increase-at-an-alarming-rate%2F140746-3.html&ei=VAGbUdOxLcaMrQfx5YCABg&usg=AFQjCNGl...

Congrats Billy !
You deserve the first, and you are one among us and that makes me happy.

Michael
I have read this so many times.It sounds pristine.I have nothing more intelligent to say.

Billy You are right. There should be no quotation mark after treasure. ''A fort,'' he said, ''a great treasure of India.'' Daddy's history also a great treasure; Frank Thanks.This is one of my travelogue poems.When I visit a place I write something to help me remember. Woetrame Thank you.I must try ...

This photo-file--- many times removed from reality, hot-hot throw up of golden orange fire-stuff ethereal and looming like Popocatapetl at work. Turnaround here, as static as the Diu Fort there are scenes of farmers enacting suicides and que vive? We are 'au courant,' feckless of this friction, leth...

Billy
Read several times.Like what I read.It will take me a couple of days to say anything sensible.

Thank you Billy.Michael did everything.I am glad to represent the board with both of you.

Michael
I am sorry I have been away from the group for some time.This is ,'just an ounce of poetry".Please send this poem and represent the board.
Wishing well.

Siva

Thank you Michael for suggesting my poem. This is my unpublished poem and I am not representing any other group.My e-mail id is sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com "My First Smocked Chemise" In the cloister, the sisters stitched their secret; through pigeon-holes we watched their thimbles wondering if it ...

Michael
I will look into this in the morning.I am too tired now.
Thank you.

Michael
Thank you.I wish you would tell me in a more direct way what I should do. Streamline the earlier stanzas.I will try.I know you will make more suggestions,once I have tried.

Edited "My First Smocked Chemise" In the cloister, the sisters stitched their secret; through pigeon-holes we watched their thimbles wondering if it was a pear, peacock or push-cart. Pastel shades of nylon baby gowns with smocked busts and baby frills alternated with coloured embroidery. Each stitch...