Search found 777 matches
- 06 Jun 2018, 22:19
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: A Daguerreotype of Edgar Allan Poe, 1849 -- revised
- Replies: 26
- Views: 34705
Re: A Daguerreotype of Edgar Allan Poe, 1849 -- revised
Bob--- you have plenty poem....easier to cut down, than build up. no telling. and i avoid journalism. v3: A Daguerreotype of Edgar Allan Poe, 1849 He was the boy in his dying mother's room, the bedside's quivering candle. He was that candle all his days, a restless flame, faltering . is his mother ...
- 06 Jun 2018, 21:46
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Man Smoking Cigarette at the Beach
- Replies: 8
- Views: 14189
Re: Man Smoking Cigarette at the Beach
Bob--- hope the revision makes the close more immediate and natural. thanks for your comment. M--- yes, saving the word solitary for the close. made that change. i imagine the lines in italics as being centered. you wrote: He feels the surf slink against his bare feet and purring Like a small pet. ...
- 05 Jun 2018, 01:20
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Man Smoking Cigarette at the Beach
- Replies: 8
- Views: 14189
Man Smoking Cigarette at the Beach
Revision (2) And now sad to say it is too short we are left wanting prose....Frank OK, Frank, here's more...bernie Burrows of wind push his cigarette smoke up to ocean cliff diners gathered to parse grilled mussel. They order bass under rippled umbrellas and flags from catch of the day specials. A ...
- 03 Jun 2018, 20:28
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Trunk Call Monsoon Moments Removed for submission
- Replies: 5
- Views: 9919
Re: Alone in an Hotel Room When the Telephone Rings
Frank--- jittery with creative fervor. existential anguish. this hotel parked just outside hell. A warm wet wind washes the hotel forecourt, condappana palms sway in Old Bombay; (fantastic) these visions... ...lithe dresses on a line. ...medals from an unmentionable age. ...Droplets splatter the gu...
- 02 Jun 2018, 22:49
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Girl With Peacock Wings In Blue Dusk Over Kobe.
- Replies: 1
- Views: 5486
Girl With Peacock Wings In Blue Dusk Over Kobe.
Poetry Kanto is fascinated by the title of my new novel and creates an image: Blue the color of ocean water after passage of a Caribbean ship. Kyoto graduate students summarize the book: Wooden sidewalks, flimsy buildings blowing away and the old cowboy who would never again ride the fading edge of...
- 01 Jun 2018, 23:43
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Operetta Hero
- Replies: 8
- Views: 14643
Re: Operetta Hero
Ken---
my shortcoming....
Bob---
a new type pom for me....fun!
Dale---
oh yes...men lounging in white boxers...
bernie
my shortcoming....
Bob---
a new type pom for me....fun!
Dale---
oh yes...men lounging in white boxers...
bernie
- 01 Jun 2018, 23:40
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Operetta Hero
- Replies: 8
- Views: 14643
Re: Operetta Hero
Frank--- dumped the extra use of that word, hero . this pom, an experiment. thanks for singing along. this line interests me deeply... ' Peaceful Palestinian in Gaza.' political...can it be poetic?....no idea just now, but thinking. by the way, here is the L A V A commercial that started it all on ...
- 01 Jun 2018, 00:28
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Shady Lane
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10404
Re: Shady Lane
I:---- maintained tone, wonderful. so original this comment: The night shift is deep in ganister rock. and this reference: ...scrubbed clean with green Lava and watching TV. very much liked this image: A man in white boxers steps onto his porch, leans to the dark like a factory watchman and the soun...
- 01 Jun 2018, 00:16
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Operetta Hero
- Replies: 8
- Views: 14643
Re: Operetta Hero
I--- much thanks for your comment. because i talk fast, enjoy telling stories....i had to take myself in hand as my beloved daughter came along...she was content sharing a movie, a live folk music presentation, a walk through a gallery without making critical comments....i learned to not ask did you...
- 30 May 2018, 22:25
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Marielitos
- Replies: 7
- Views: 12939
Re: Marielitos
Ken--- mas journalism, less poms. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuba_under_Fidel_Castro "... He additionally forbade further foreign land-ownership. Large land-holdings were broken up and redistributed; an estimated 200,000 peasants received title deeds. To Castro, this was an important step that b...
- 30 May 2018, 21:38
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Operetta Hero
- Replies: 8
- Views: 14643
Operetta Hero
Sorry not to be your hero, White shoes and dickie Like your grandfather, Steadfast Gibraltar, A left Bank Notre Dame, Landing lights always on, Your Don Juan in spats. Listening when you speak, Standing room only Rave reviews, Cheering your encore With my front row ticket; A Lothario as the curtain ...
- 27 May 2018, 18:48
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Sunday in Golden Gate Park
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11686
Re: Sunday in Golden Gate Park
Bob--- terrific. atmospheric and yet built on details and stark, clear images... that lost book, especially those pigeons, the spent coins at the end... just those plurals at the end: my hopes are coins tossed weeks ago. (You will remember the hit tune and movie, three coins in the fountain... http...
- 25 May 2018, 05:32
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Epithalamion for my Dead Grandparents
- Replies: 12
- Views: 17549
Re: Epithalamion for my Dead Grandparents
B0B
love the revision, especially the added sequence that allows the narrator to directly interact with the grandparents.
palme d'or.
bernie
love the revision, especially the added sequence that allows the narrator to directly interact with the grandparents.
palme d'or.
bernie
- 24 May 2018, 21:46
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Epithalamion for my Dead Grandparents
- Replies: 12
- Views: 17549
Re: Epithalamion for my Dead Grandparents
Bob--- wondering... less birds...a little more detail about the deceased couple featured by the pom.... maybe the development of another key image---like the birds. I like what Seidel did with the bird image....: “At her old apartment at 12, Rue de Seine/We lived like hummingbirds on nectar and oxy...
- 24 May 2018, 21:43
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Castro"s Cst
- Replies: 9
- Views: 13267
Re: Castro"s Cst
Ken---
rave review from my end of the known universe.
love this line:
On Friday Abakuá lined up, old men skin black as Bibles, their belief a mix of Catholic and Santeria.
bernie
rave review from my end of the known universe.
love this line:
On Friday Abakuá lined up, old men skin black as Bibles, their belief a mix of Catholic and Santeria.
bernie
- 23 May 2018, 21:53
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Epithalamion for my Dead Grandparents
- Replies: 12
- Views: 17549
Re: Epithalamion for my Dead Grandparents
Ken--- OK, let's examine Bob's challenge...for a palme d'or ...more exceptionalism. but only i see minor edits right now. At their wedding reception in their small house would like to avoid the quick repeat of their . At their wedding reception they hung a cage of warbling wrens. is it necessary to...
- 23 May 2018, 07:34
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ja Da*
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8571
Re: Ja Da*
Bob and Ken oh, deep thanks. ja da.....yes, i associate that and this poem with fitzgerald...one of my literary heroes. that final image with goldfish teeth---their teeth are not like ours, deep in the throat---more like small ridges---but i like the gentleness i feel in a goldfish, the royal color....
- 22 May 2018, 22:55
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Epithalamion for my Dead Grandparents
- Replies: 12
- Views: 17549
Re: Epithalamion for my Dead Grandparents
Bob---
great concept, development and climax. a poetry seminar.
bernie
Seidel:
...an unabashedly romantic interlude in Paris with Von Furstenberg:
“At her old apartment at 12, Rue de Seine/We lived like hummingbirds on nectar and oxygen.”
great concept, development and climax. a poetry seminar.
bernie
Seidel:
...an unabashedly romantic interlude in Paris with Von Furstenberg:
“At her old apartment at 12, Rue de Seine/We lived like hummingbirds on nectar and oxygen.”
- 22 May 2018, 21:35
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Stargate
- Replies: 2
- Views: 5846
Stargate
Dark when you kiss my eyes,
but I can see lightning
staggering in a sky corner,
I notice rocket ships fast
in the fox constellation
driving to a greater cosmos,
a moon full of bougainvillea
stares without speaking.
but I can see lightning
staggering in a sky corner,
I notice rocket ships fast
in the fox constellation
driving to a greater cosmos,
a moon full of bougainvillea
stares without speaking.
- 22 May 2018, 00:30
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ja Da*
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8571
Re: Ja Da*
The port city cheek and jowl along the cordillera, beside the grimy harbor, guests in white shoes, face powder and pomade deep as black purple. A lawn party years ago. The scented breeze, maybe posies arranged in a floral bouquet. Voices over an emerald pool, a line of Adirondack chairs; the barkeep...
- 20 May 2018, 20:20
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ja Da*
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8571
Ja Da*
The port city cheek and jowl along the cordillera, beside the grimy harbor, guests in white shoes, face powder and pomade deep as black purple. A lawn party seven years ago. The scented breeze, i look back, maybe posies drying on a tray. Voices across the emerald pool and a line of Adirondack chairs...
- 20 May 2018, 19:50
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Poem in Exile in the Fashion of Neruda
- Replies: 11
- Views: 16929
Re: Poem in Exile in the Fashion of Neruda
refreshing my memory.... The 1952 Coup Batista had a great deal of support. Many of his former cronies in the military had been weeded out or passed over for promotion in the years since Batista had left: it is suspected that many of these officers may have gone ahead with the takeover even if they ...
- 19 May 2018, 21:58
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Dear Miss Meghan
- Replies: 5
- Views: 9887
Re: Dear Miss Meghan
Frank---
condescending and dumb---time someone broke the bad news to her and never too late to grow up.
bernie
condescending and dumb---time someone broke the bad news to her and never too late to grow up.
bernie
- 19 May 2018, 20:51
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Poem in Exile in the Fashion of Neruda
- Replies: 11
- Views: 16929
Re: Poem in Exile in the Fashion of Neruda
K--- these lines are terrific: I remember old women washing clothes at Malecon, using soap made from pan grease and lye. They beat the rocks with their laundry as if extracting confessions, stretch them on the seawall to dry. not crazy about this: Do not unkiss me, my Cuba though I left you like a l...
- 19 May 2018, 20:42
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Dear Miss Meghan
- Replies: 5
- Views: 9887
Re: Dear Miss Meghan
Frank---
so, who is this speaker to offer such unasked advice?
bernie
so, who is this speaker to offer such unasked advice?
bernie