New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

frank--- i second that IBPC nom.... and this, a suggestion to add another story centered image: We crested the headland where the American destroyer had washed up on a lee shore, resting rust red and forlorn. a chewed hole in the side, a Japanese torpedo almost visible. you see what i mean. (leg hee...

bob... fast, excellent opening that hooks me and promises an interesting story... but this isn't it: What are the chances of a meteor plummeting into my back yard? There are better chances of being struck in a drive-by shooting than falling in love. What are the chances of lightning slicing my eucal...

bob-- less "s" endings? Do you recall Daytona' s boardwalk, where we met? You touched my wrist, changing everything: the world withdrew, it s curtain s closing on our pier' s photo booth. Forty year s later I've found your picture in a shoe box. The photo' s dye s are muddied like an old tattoo' s a...

City Ennui Saigon buses shimmy my room, a busty lemon rolls on the empty table. --- Noisy motorcycle riders parade in sun and noise, odious gas cloud tattoo. --- Green bikes shimmer shiny as ornaments in an American Christmas. --- Banners swarm lunch stalls, bus passengers shuffle, children driven ...

smooth. very much like these lines: We crested the headland where the American destroyer had washed up on a lee shore, resting rust red and forlorn. We swam in the warm salt breakers as the larks called us from the Green rolling meadows and we danced for joy in the glory of His creation. i would cut...

wish you would start here:

Sacré-Cœur


challenging. the imagination expands.


bernie

i enjoy the wit here, congrats on your vote for risk taking.


bernie

Frank--- sure like these lines: To the sight of the Head Crags Black. Rattling the latch like a poltergeist; Slashing the kitchen window With a crab apple sprig. oh, that crab apple sprig. the poem is fresh and speaks with a dignity and deliberate tenderness of intimate details---i like it very much...

Bernard Henrie mojave216bernard@aol.com This is my original work. The poem is unpublished. This poem or myself not otherwise representing a poetry forum. my final version: In France a girl may date her professor without hiding; or a man old as her father tottering in États-Unis. My professor redolen...

M---


full of artful turns of phrase and nimble thinking. refreshing. to be sure.

and whimsical, wistful. very inventive poem that i could only embrace and glad hand.


bernie

dy no myte.

great action, the movement deft and suspenseful.

the ending is perfect for the poem.


bernie

Parfum de Dimanche In France a girl may date her professor without hiding. Or a man old as her father tottering in États-Unis. My professor redolently gorgeous. A Florida coed. My exchange student girl friends turned green. He spanked my hips turning them red as barber poles. To lounge afterwards l...

Siva, good poetry pal....


liked the poem setup here, striking and so original. you will make a high impact and striking poem unforgetable, a devastating poem that opens so much to me not imagined before.



bernie

Bob---

just wonderful.


sensitive and tender without sentimentality. the objective description of the speaker allowed me to sit at the speaker's side, to feel the heartbreak of time's passage, the tenderness of the current life.

great job.


bernie

Bob--- gosh. Riva--- and don't think a broken leg could keep me from noticing your wonderful success here: Pleased to let you know that my poem,'Cremation is not merely setting fire',has been shortlisted for the Birdport Poetry Prize for the year 2016. Dear Sivakami BRIDPORT PRIZE 2016 Congratulatio...

Siva and Frank... hey, a gut feeling is what i value very much. maybe this much for the whole poem: You can imagine how clean the moon appears after rain in an inkblot of sky, a violent break in the dry weather like a wreath as we remember and trundle in pages of our own book, the unprinted story el...

Siva---

a clear yet subtle narrative that i responded to and felt deeply. a wonderful, a delicate balance between the emotions of the narrator while recognizing fully the value of her current choice.

original subject matter.


very nice poem.




bernie

Billy---


i like the poem best with this edit:


Their leaves
large and small hearts

climbing the wall


the royal purple
of a new day.


hatred is too strong.

what do you think?


but more, i hope, haiku like.


bernie

Billy--- high emotional impact, imagery is objective and carries smoothly through the poem. only this line stopped me, left me cold: These hidden emotions, not lies, a bit literal, a bit telley, is there an image substitute you might float? poorly tuned radio fades in and out.... for example. but i ...

Frank---





this is strong and clear:


The heat overpowering, he slept by a radiator;
he's cold. A plumber resets the valves and bleeds for air.



but the last few lines descend into sentimentality.

are the lines necessary?


bernie

Ken--- a narrative i followed with interest, but an interest that peaked before the poem finished. loved the simplicity here, her clothes were gone. and the unemotional portrayal of a boy who deflects his sorrow by talking about the river, search methods, and fish. i like these effects. i enjoyed. b...

Or, as I say, you and me. Bouquet wine on the white table. The wind unpacks the restaurant closed in winter months, wind ripples the awning like a flag in a drying clutch of morning air. or, as I say, you and me. Distant radio in the dining room, voices thin as a woman’s perfume, faces in colorless ...

Fred---

powerdul and deeply felt travel movie...i was right there.


great job.

bernie

Frank---

a glowing portrait all the more special because of the details....she refuses to make meals after a certain hour, that she is taller than the writer, the grand children and her murmurs as she tends the plants.


beautiful job.

bernie

B---



loved the tumble, the emotion of over heated clothes, cast out to their own reward, i'm a little sad, but delirious all the same.


liked this poem very much,


bernie