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Indeed!! Happy New Year! Sweep out the bad spirits before you go to bed tonight …

It is better, thanks to your help. I can't think you enough....have a good New Year's Eve!

Revised...thanks, Ieuan. Much appreciated....

I like some of your suggestions….let me think about a revision

Kudos for sticking with your project….

v2: William Davenant.  Shakespeare Was More Than Godfather To Me Oft Shakespeare dropped by the Crown Tavern at Oxon on his way to Stratford. He loved to jest with Mother,   who, when around musicians and players, was as lively as any minuet. I take pleasure in the rumor that Will fathered me a bast...

An explanation would help. I add titles to my haiku as well…

It’s a good image.

Good ending. Well done, efficient poem. Reminds me of Emily’s hope is a feathered thing. But any line with hope and bird would inevitably invoke Emily.

Thanks, Michael. I like the worn rug suggestion. I will change the title.

It’s been a lot of fun for me as well working with so many talented poets…. The enjoyment of reading so many good poems at this site has been a literary blessing.

Enjoy the new year… all of it!
Bob

Sorry, I missed this. It’s a good draft. I like the first 3 poignant stanzas a lot. The specifics put me right there. For example, I love “Rubbermaid trays”, a good example of great detail. The contrast between how the mother took care of plants before and after her illness works very well. The four...

Fun poem. I liked the breast imagery, and the humor throughout. Its innocence has a Norwegian Wood vibe to it.

It's just the way I hear it spoken....I did change the title, and work forgiveness into a line, per your suggestions....enjoy new year's!

Thanks for your comments, Caleb. I’ve tweaked the poem.

Ha! Maybe

I like it all except for the last stanza. I wanted more of a punch line.

Thanks, Caleb. I agree the title isn’t memorable. I’m open to suggestions, even wild funny ones….

V2: Ode to a Worn Rug To hide my naked head, I wear a rug which mimics a dead cat. Ah, how forgiving old age is! No one wants to embarrass an ambassador of dementia by pointing to it. I move through the markets with my headdress of a cat, chin up, haughty like a model who’s graced the covers of Vogu...

Lovely close, the love for the grandson

The thrill of Christmas
Day soon grown old
like the new game or toy.
I see in his heart the desire
for the joy that lasts.

Ha! Nice one

Well done…. You’re really good at this gorm

Excellent!

I love the revision you have started here, Ieuan. Hope to see more soon….Merry Christmas, my friend.

This works. Good poem. Enjoy the holidays.

This is good, and a fine revision. My only quibble may be with the line about the son being under the father's Thumb. Why is Thumb but not father capitalized? Also, for me this is the weakest line. It isn't as good as the others...maybe because it doesn't feel necessary. I know poets tend to focus o...