haiga

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

haiga

#1 Post by Billy » 23 Mar 2017, 03:27

Image
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BobBradshaw
Posts: 2688
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: haiga

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 28 Mar 2017, 00:45

I really like this....'the threadbare sleeves' is a lovely image.
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Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: haiga

#3 Post by Michael (MV) » 28 Mar 2017, 05:26

 
Hi Billy,


maybe w/ even less verbage -


moth in the flame
the threadbare sleeves
-- homeless

or this arrangement

moth in the flame
the homeless
threadbare sleeves



8)

Michael (MV)

 
 
 
  
 
 
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meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: haiga

#4 Post by meenas17 » 29 Mar 2017, 14:24

It is nice. I like the imagery.
meenas17
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Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: haiga

#5 Post by Bernie01 » 01 Apr 2017, 23:53

B---

the imagery here is delicate, heartbreaking.



bernie
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