Pallanguzhi ----

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meenas17
Posts: 467
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Pallanguzhi ----

#1 Post by meenas17 » 13 Aug 2018, 15:04

Confined in a tiny room
for sixteen days. I drink sesame oil
munched palm jaggery.
I stay bored.

I tiptoe, a deceit anyhow
My watchful aunt stops me.
Back in the room, I remain
doleful.

I call her names. Not aloud,
she would flog me if she picks up.
Stretch out on my rough bed,
penalized for no reason.

She reads through the papers,
One eye on the news
while another on me.
I make faces at her.

It is half past nine
she appears at the door
with a board game.
Something unfamiliar to me.

It s a conventional one
with fourteen pits.
The rosewood board glitters.
I listen to her directives.
The game starts.

She fills the pits with cowry.
distributes the white shells
going counterclockwise.
Says repeated playing would
turn me a arithmetical wizard.

I follow her. She commits
mistakes knowingly.
Makes way for me to win.
I undertake with intensity

The game goes on for hours.
A trick she indulges to keep
me occupied. I enjoy, the motivation,
the technique and the skill.

The girls when they attain age
are placed in seclusion.  Isolated.
Overseen by aunts and  grand mothers.
A time to strengthen the physique.

My affable aunt expresses discipline
and love all the more, prepares
protein rich food. The prescribed diet
makes the young girl's body strong.
A nourishment for the future.
The prospect of child-bearing years
intercepts.

I contemplate as how to honour the guests.
who would grace  my granddaughter's ceremony.
The good old days and the memories
of my aunt inspire me. I decide.
Order Pallanguzhi and Palm jaggery for candies.
Substitutions  unheard off!

Response? 
I dare not deliberate.
  
meenas17

Kenneth2816
Posts: 750
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Pallanguzhi ----

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 13 Aug 2018, 21:56

Meenas, this is a sneak peek into another culture. I am onboard with everything. The seque from past to present tense with the last stanza is clumsy and by that,I mean it appears as an appendage instead of a part of the poem.I wonder if it might not be set up better earlier in the poem?

meenas17
Posts: 467
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Pallanguzhi ----

#3 Post by meenas17 » 15 Aug 2018, 06:45

I am at ease while writing about something that reflects our culture.
I will pay attention to the seque in my revision.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
meenas17

Kenneth2816
Posts: 750
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Pallanguzhi ----

#4 Post by Kenneth2816 » 15 Aug 2018, 08:59

Meenas, I quite enjoy your poetry. I have to look up a word or two on Google, but your work is both inspirational and educational

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