On Top Ten Summer Words

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SivaRamanathan
Posts: 888
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

On Top Ten Summer Words

#1 Post by SivaRamanathan » 24 Oct 2012, 06:24

Sundays grandma took us to the Marina.
On the way at Triplicane
we bought Frisbees
plastic sand- pie buckets,
spades and a palm leaf basket
of cooking utensils for five rupees.

As for the marshmallow we cradled that too.
And the scooping out happened on the beach mat.
We flung the thick rind
and marked where it fell.
Who could fling the fastest
with out the heavy javelin?

Dandelions are flowers
Cousin of our sunflower
You curl up into a ball
our sunflower dries up
looks like the face of March Hatter.

After that it was barbecue
Not turkey's breast or thigh
Only potato, sweet potato and palm root.

Dog days are difficult times
we did not feel it
we had our dog and we had our days.

`'In what way is the solstice like ketchup?''
asked the red queen.
Look at your face in the mirror
and look at your veins
and you get the answer.

As for picnics we went to Vedanthangal
to the sanctuary of birds.
For the vacation we scaled the Kodai hills
and because the Chinese have the proverb
`He eats best who perspires'
we learnt to eat without a twirling fan.

muwibojerft
Posts: 1
Joined: 07 Oct 2018, 19:11

Re: On Top Ten Summer Words

#2 Post by muwibojerft » 07 Oct 2018, 20:01

The ground of the game and all sports is fixed for the individuals. It has been marginal for the movement of the help me write an essay for all ideal and perfect items for the divides I life.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 891
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: On Top Ten Summer Words

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 07 Oct 2018, 22:34

An enjoyable, humorous poem....I like the last 3 lines esp. However, there is something awkward about the dandelion stanza...maybe some punctuation would clear things up. In the dog days stanza, which I found charmingly funny, replace "it" with "them". The poem is a feast...

Kenneth2816
Posts: 732
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: On Top Ten Summer Words

#4 Post by Kenneth2816 » 12 Oct 2018, 10:45

I like the inclusion of Alice characters, lends a Victorian feel.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 888
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: On Top Ten Summer Words

#5 Post by SivaRamanathan » 14 Oct 2018, 14:59

On Top Ten Summer Words

Sundays grandma took us to the Marina.
On the way at Triplicane
we bought Frisbee
plastic sand- pie buckets,
spades and a palm leaf basket
of cooking utensils for five rupees.

As for the marshmallow we cradled that too.
And the scooping out happened on the beach mat.
We flung the thick rind
and marked where it fell.
Who could fling the fastest
without the heavy javelin?

Dandelions are flowers
Cousin of our sunflower
You curl up into a ball
our sunflower dries up
looks like the face of March Hatter.

After that it was barbecue
Not turkey's breast or thigh
Only potato, sweet potato and palm root.

Dog days are difficult times
we did not feel them
we had our dog and we had our days.

`'In what way is the solstice like ketchup?''
asked the Red Queen.
Look at your face in the mirror
and look at your veins
and you get the answer.

As for picnics we went to Vedanthangal
to the sanctuary of birds.
For the vacation we scaled the Kodai hills
and because the Chinese have the proverb
`He eats best who perspires'
we learnt to eat without a twirling fan.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1263
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: On Top Ten Summer Words

#6 Post by FranktheFrank » 14 Oct 2018, 15:30

"As for picnics we went to Vedanthangal
to the sanctuary of birds.
For the vacation we scaled the Kodai hills
and because the Chinese have the proverb
`He eats best who perspires'
we learnt to eat without a twirling fan."

Try:
We visited the bird sanctuary
at Vedanthagal, and during our vacation
scaled the Kodi Hills. Like the Chinese
proverb: 'He eats best who perspires',
we ate our rice without twirling a fan.

Hope that is a help not a hinder.
Good poem, more like this.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 888
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: On Top Ten Summer Words

#7 Post by SivaRamanathan » 15 Oct 2018, 20:13

Thank you Frank.I was using those ten words. Now I have to search for those words.
S

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