"in the moog"

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Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

"in the moog"

#1 Post by Michael (MV) » 20 May 2012, 09:33

 
Donna

disco diva
singing I feel love ly
high noon where solstice meets with moon:

Summer

from body parts
but there is no last dance
always another song for her

freed voice 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 

penumbra
Posts: 913
Joined: 28 Jun 2010, 20:15

Re: "in the moog"

#2 Post by penumbra » 27 May 2012, 21:03

This is beautiful, Michael!

I have no nits to it, and I would like to see "in the moog" go forth and represent the Block before the IBPC judge.

I hope you go for it.

pen

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: "in the moog"

#3 Post by Michael (MV) » 28 May 2012, 03:53

Thanks pen,

for the IBPC nom nod; let's wait a bit to hear from others.

It would be a joy to represent with this linked tiered cinquain-poem
prompted/inspired by and celebrating the creative spirit of Donna Summer.

Dare I say an ekphrastic experience conducted by her creative kinship.

It has received favorable reviews elsewhere, where it is formatted center - a la centerstage/spotlight.

Someone has suggested other than "strong voice;" but I'm not sure, and nothing else has occurred.
In keeping w/ the linking aspect of the cinquain form, the current wording yields:Donna Summer strong voice
So far, if not broke, don't fix.


Meanwhile, pen, I believe you'll enjoy this Disco epic masterpiece - an electric marriage of moog(machine) & human song (genuine voice)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_o7aSj ... 3377CC9616

This section below @ about 3:40 reminds me of a psalm. Enjoy on this Sunday evening 8) Michael (MV)

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one.

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky.
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why.

penumbra
Posts: 913
Joined: 28 Jun 2010, 20:15

Re: "in the moog"

#4 Post by penumbra » 30 May 2012, 01:11

Michael,

Thank you for the link - I enjoyed! You are so good at those, and also at correlations, for which I am most grateful.

I smile.
pen

FrankDyer
Posts: 227
Joined: 17 May 2011, 06:28

Re: "in the moog"

#5 Post by FrankDyer » 04 Jun 2012, 20:10

I don't see anything clever or even remotely poetic about this piece Michael. It is however very much like the rest of your work.

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Yoly
Posts: 274
Joined: 20 Apr 2005, 22:44

Re: "in the moog"

#6 Post by Yoly » 12 Jun 2012, 21:19

"strong voice" seems like it didn't reach enough for the poem's conclusion.
But I do agree that the rest of it shouldn't be touched.

Love Miss Summer.

Cheers!
Yo

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: "in the moog"

#7 Post by Bernie01 » 08 Jul 2017, 22:41

Michael---

am not clear about the age of these comments....even my poetry pal Yolly---if only this signaled her return to these Forums....

however,

I strip lines and only use lines 3,4 and 5.

do you need the singer?---before she found God...whom I love, luv, with unabashed joy.


but the "moog" reference distracts from then haiku feeling of the poem.

bernie

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: "in the moog"

#8 Post by Michael (MV) » 10 Aug 2017, 20:31

 
I have been hoping to reply sooner as I have been jazzed that someone surfaced this project from 5 years ago
(after Donna was lifted to that absolutely disco-opera house in the Haven of the Humane)
and I agreed w/ Yoly then, but had never found something stronger than "strong voice" -

now with the lift from archives, the canary has inspired a phrasing I believe that elevates this layered cinquain-poem:

always another song for her

freed voice


and, stronger, too, is to change

Summer

the body parts

to

Summer

from body parts


Thanks to Yoly for sharing her initial observation, and to sokkimlay for resurfacing the thread,

and to those who then added recent comments this Summer 2017;

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it[


8)

Michael (MV)
 
 
 
 
 

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