Now My Brothers Office Room

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SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1130
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Now My Brothers Office Room

#1 Post by SivaRamanathan » 22 Jun 2012, 15:55

Mother’s room, now so empty. The soul
left her body in this room, ten years ago.

Across the compound from the RSS Hindu Dome
a chorus counts ek,do, like they are doing night parade.

Directly outside the window the pagoda
of the Theen Murtis comes eye to eye

with the flowers of pomegranate fruits and henna leaves.
Did my mother call out in the middle of her sleep?

What if she had called and sister-in-law had ignored her cries?
This night I have come to terms with her demise.

In the morning my laziness will surface
and it will just be one more day. What if

I do not collect my abandoned poems?
Trivandrum will be the same for many more years.

Sarojimi amma says my mother looked like a Deva Stree.
Now my two and a half year old niece stares just like her.


Now My Brothers Office Room

Mother’s room, now so empty. The soul
had left her body in this room, ten or so years ago.
Across the compound ,from the RSS Hindu Dome
a chorus counts ek,do, like they are doing night parade.
Directly outside the window the pagoda
of the Theen Murtis comes eye to eye
with the flowers of pomegranate fruits and henna leaves.
Did my mother call out in the middle of her sleep?
What if she had called and sister-in-law had ignored her cries?
This night I have come to terms with her demise.
In the morning my laziness will surface
and it will just be one more day, what if
I do not collect my abandoned poems?
Trivandrum will be the same for many more years,
Sarojimi amma says my mother looked like a Deva Stree
Now my two and a half year old niece takes after her.
The story of my mother lives in this room.

FrankDyer
Posts: 227
Joined: 17 May 2011, 06:28

Re: Now My Brothers Office Room

#2 Post by FrankDyer » 05 Aug 2012, 02:50

Another great spark.

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Yoly
Posts: 274
Joined: 20 Apr 2005, 22:44

Re: Now My Brothers Office Room

#3 Post by Yoly » 13 Aug 2012, 23:31

Siva, this one draws me in from beginning to end.

I like how the speaker reflects on her abandoned poems. To me it says that there might be some of her mom in them, and she's worried they might be lost along with the memory of her mom.
And the niece takes on a stare that the speaker writes it looks like her mom's stare.
It is interesting what people do to hang on to things of a departed loved one.
There's a sweet fragile tone to your poem.

Peace,

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1130
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Now My Brothers Office Room

#4 Post by SivaRamanathan » 14 Aug 2012, 17:25

Yoly
I wish you would say something on the craft of the poem. I wrote it in one go,but Frank has put it into couplets.
I do not know how many poems I can post in this forum in a week. I wish I could post a few more.

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