Sister Valeria

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1133
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Sister Valeria

#1 Post by SivaRamanathan » 17 Sep 2012, 15:18

Sister Valeria


And so she made me stay with her for two years
teaching me how to look at and for objects. —
the hazy achieved preciseness
like the focusing of a lens.
wavering lights became static
liquid solid.

Valeria was my looking glass,
my pair of German lenses both convex and concave;
she showed me the depth of field,
I saw Grotto Mary plus the Infant.

Then Valeria, Valeria, Valeria.

She made me do Satan
thus elevating my acting prowess.

All my friends called her Valerika meaning cucumber.
Divide—with a bread knife-
Give away a bite of chocolate to the sweeper woman’s daughter.

I learnt to keep a pocket note book
and jot down variant spellings.

In short she made the Angels of the Holy Angels
come true. She made me forgive Adelaide and Berthela
Sisters who always wanted to see my Appa.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------









One year with Valeria before and one year after. Valeria showed me to look at objects and to look for objects, before and after and during the succession of needlings.What was hazy assumed precise shapes; in fact what seemed like liquid wavering became solid. Valeria taught me to pronounce and love words and she taught me concepts of distance, so that, if I looked for the grotto I could see it. She introduced me to Grotto Mary and the Baby Infant ,and I thought, how sweet, Christians also have the Mother imagery like us. Even then my imagination worked overtime. I substituted her for Grotto Mary. And though my class girls called her 'Velarika', meaning cucumber, I would not utter such blasphemes, she often called for my papa to give him my progress, and I got into the habit of using a pocket notebook, jotting down difficult words, rebellious spellings, and ob
viously I was her favourite child, so she made me stay twice with her, I also had to learn another script.
Valeria was at once my looking glass, my pair of German lenses, both concave and convex.I was in a play,being asked to do Satan and I thought how different from the commong rung.By this time I had come home,mother had come home,and all those post needling periods of bed rest,amma did my homework in her head,out loud so that I could comprehend.Regarding mathematics,Valeria taught me to divide with a bread knife,’give away that bite of choclolate to the sweeper woman’s daughter’. She taught and in short she made the Angels in the name of the convent come true.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1534
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Eulogy for Valeria

#2 Post by FranktheFrank » 11 Oct 2017, 12:21

I liked this poem from five years ago Siva and have
hijacked to play with. I think it is at still draft level but you
should revise your poems for comma spaces and other
aberrations. If you don't like what I have done, please let
me know and I will of course remove forthwith.

Eulogy to Valeria
by SivaRamanathan

Two years with her changed my life, Sister Valeria showed
me to how to look at and for objects. What was formerly
hazy now assumed preciseness, like the focusing of a lens;
in fact what seemed like liquid wavering became solid.

Valeria taught me to appreciate language, and depth of field,
so that, if I looked for the grotto I could see it. She introduced
me to Mary and her Baby Infant, and I thought, how sweet,
Christians also have the Mother imagery like us. Even then

my imagination worked overtime. I substituted her for Mary.
And though my class girls called her 'Velarika' - cucumber,
I would not utter such blasphemies, she called Papa to give
my progress report. I developed the habit of using a pocket notebook

and of jotting down difficult words, variant spelling, and soon
I became her favourite pupil. Valeria was both my looking
glass, my pair of German lenses, both concave and convex.
In the school play, she asked I represent Satan, how different

from the common rung. By this time I had returned home,
mother had also returned, and all those post needling [don't know what needling is]
periods of bed rest, Amma did my homework in her head,
out loud so that I could comprehend. Regarding arithmetic,

she taught me to divide with a bread knife, ’Give that bite
of chocolate to the sweeper woman’s daughter’. She taught
and in short she made the angels in the name
of the convent come true.

Some work needed for the last stanza.

SivaVelliangiri
Posts: 140
Joined: 09 Jul 2017, 06:34

Re: Sister Valeria

#3 Post by SivaVelliangiri » 11 Oct 2017, 21:25

Frank

I feel like calling you the 'Good Samaritan' of the Writer's Block, but I know there will be objections. Thank you for working on this poem.

Sivakami Velliangiri

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1534
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Sister Valeria

#4 Post by FranktheFrank » 11 Oct 2017, 22:16

Well, long as you like it Siva
Now make it into something gret, just small tinkering will do it.

SivaVelliangiri
Posts: 140
Joined: 09 Jul 2017, 06:34

Re: Sister Valeria

#5 Post by SivaVelliangiri » 11 Oct 2017, 23:25

Frank
My congenital cataract was moved to the corners with a needle and dissolved into the skin,because I was very young.I had seven in my right eye and six in my left eye.I sneezed during the needling,and that was the end of all needlings. My left eye is pretty bad.My right is okay with artificial lenses.

Post Reply

Return to “Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang”