"tax man"

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Michael (MV)
Posts: 1617
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

"tax man"

#1 Post by Michael (MV) » 22 Apr 2013, 04:51

 
in full
moon light
the spider
spins
while the snake
braids
into a rope
dangling
with a judas
jerk



 
 
 

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Billy
Posts: 952
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: "tax man"

#2 Post by Billy » 22 Apr 2013, 05:56

I like this minimalist, especially the ending, "judas jerk"

Woetrame
Posts: 33
Joined: 12 Feb 2013, 03:35

Re: "tax man"

#3 Post by Woetrame » 06 May 2013, 19:17

I like this, and the 'judas jerk' is a fine phrase perfectly placed.

In terms of interpretation I read that workers like us are the spiders and the snake is the tax man, but that's not an immediately obvious interpretation. Possibly consider changing 'the spider' to 'we spiders' plural.

The reference to a 'full moon light' is subtly ironic, and fits nicely.

Good work

ednamode
Posts: 13
Joined: 08 Sep 2013, 01:41

Re: "tax man"

#4 Post by ednamode » 16 Sep 2013, 01:13

i like this poem.
it is beautiful in its simplicity whilst saying everything that needs to be said and more.

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