Mango and Guava

[meenas17]

The mango tree is fluttering cheerfully in the garden.

The guava tree stands solemnly grim with a heavy burden.

A whiff of air blows all of a sudden.

The trees dangle vigorously with fruits heavily laden.

The fall of little mangoes makes the heart sadden.

The ripe yellow guavas come down in dozens.

The mango and guava are a subtle reference

indicating the world's impermanence .

[Michael (MV)]

Hi meenas17

w/out the last 2 lines; and workshop illustrated for your persusal & consideration     Michael (MV)


The mango tree flutters cheerfully in the garden..
The guava tree stands grim with a heavy burden.
A whiff of air, and the limbs dangle
vigorously heavily laden with produce.
The fall of little mangoes sags the heart.
The ripe yellow guavas come down in groves.


 

  
 
 
 

[meenas17]

I would definitely consider.

[dyerfrank]

To me your poem brought back to my memory our life in the tropics, living on the equator and our garden full of mango and quava trees and I remember the thuds that seems to go on all night long. So your poem worked it elicitated a response in me. I thak you for that, the poem needs a lot of work, over-telling is a problem for you.

[meenas17]

Michael and dyerfrank
The mango tree flutters cheerfully in the garden..
The guava tree stands grim with a heavy burden.
A whiff of air, and the limbs dangle
vigorously heavily laden with produce.
The fall of little mangoes sags the heart.
The ripe yellow guavas come down in groves.


I have adopted what Michael has done it for me.