Man of the House

[Billy]

Man of the House

I cook for them. Curried tofu and garbanzo beans,
careful with the chilis, they don't like it hot.
Stir-fries. My own rendition of Sezchuan.

They love my dill weed potato salad.
It's okay--I like to cook. The hard part's
livin' with three women. The older one

says I look like Errol Flynn. She likes my jokes.
"You're not really 55," she says. I sing old songs
to her: 5 foot 2 Eyes of Blue; Hey, Good Lookin'

What Ya Got Cookin'. If she stubs her toe
or burns her finger, she yells, "Oh, Bolshevik".
The middle one doesn't laugh at my jokes.

She tells me when to brush my teeth, how I
ought to prepare the rice, convinced that I turn
my head and spout corny witticisms like her father.

She cajoles the older one to assent to this. The
young one calls me different names depending on
her mood. Yesterday, she washed my pots and pans.

Today, she complains the food is too spicy.
These women blacken the bottoms of skillets.
They think the bigger the flame the better.

[Michael (MV)]

 
Hi Billy,


Interesting take: The man of the house in the kitchen

and then the title leaves an additional after-taste - admirable quality in title choice.

^^ a gourmet title  



the voice is genuine & consistent throughout the narrative


workshop suggestions:

more conversational w/out the "because"

It's okay - I like to cook.




She tells me when to brush my teeth, how I
ought to prepare the rice, thinks I turn my head
and spout corny witticisms like her father

She cajoles the older one to assent to this. The
young one calls me different names, depending on
her mood.



The closing is excellent.

bigger of course is not always better.

brevity is the soul of wit   (and spout corny witticisms like her father)




Michael (MV)

 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 

[Billy]

Thanks Michael for the suggestions. I've made the changes.

[SivaRamanathan]

Billy
Good one this.enjoyed reading.I used to get messages in my mail box for every new post,but I don't get it any more.That is why I missed reading this.
Sivakami Velliangiri

[Billy]

Thanks, Siva. I guess we were thinking similarly when we wrote our poems.