Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

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SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1014
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

#1 Post by SivaRamanathan » 03 Jul 2015, 23:20

What started off as a small slipper bite
festered and made my feet ugly.
I said this is skinny so I must go to Thambiah
who had died as per the papers but the mob had resurrected him.
His assistant merely nodded his head and I thought
I calculated one more gnarled ring to that Nagalinga tree.
Meanwhile, as this healed, the ankle of my next foot burst
like a pod of seed, shattering the skin without,
the tiny in-depth wound widening
causing great pain with ponds of pus.
Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks to string out the varicose
branching out like a stubborn green bad blood vein.

''No oxygen for the feet. Major blocks everywhere.
So no rest for your lazy feet. Walk up and make the circulation rush
exercise and drink water, give the greens and vegetables
a great helping, in short transform to a moving robot

and if you are writing your poem, don't forget to put your legs up.''

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1576
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 22 Jul 2015, 07:53

 
Hi Siva,

upon a 1st read-thru:

"a stubborn green bad blood vein."

^^ a blockage of adjectives


of how doctors slit the shanks to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.


8)

Michael (MV)

 
 
 
 
 

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1014
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

#3 Post by SivaRamanathan » 22 Jul 2015, 14:52

Michael

Thank you.Perhaps you could guide me a little more.Thanks.

Siva

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1014
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

#4 Post by SivaRamanathan » 22 Jul 2015, 21:42

"a stubborn green bad blood vein."
a blockage of adjectives
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1576
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

#5 Post by Michael (MV) » 23 Jul 2015, 09:52

 
Siva,

"a blockage of adjectives" refers to those words before "vein." I was not suggesting it as an edited line for the poem.


in accord w/ this arrangement:

Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.


in the spirit of clarification & creativity

8)

Michael (MV)


 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1014
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

#6 Post by SivaRamanathan » 23 Jul 2015, 15:15

Michael

Thanks for your prompt workshop.(ping) I will use this when I edit.

S

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

#7 Post by Bernie01 » 30 Jul 2015, 11:18

a startling mix of medicine in the year 2015 and traditional methods that might see as having a high component of theater.


bernie

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1014
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

#8 Post by SivaRamanathan » 04 Aug 2015, 11:42

Michael
I have worked on this poem.Can you please workshop it a little more.It reads like a journal entry.

Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

It started off as a slipper-bite
festered to make my feet ugly
venous incompetency
burning the skin.

Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.

''We must see Dr.Thambiah''.
''A startling mix of medicine
in the year 2015 and traditional methods
might see as having a high component of theater.''

Thambiah merely nodded his head,and
I calculated one more ring
in that gnarled Nagalinga tree.

Meanwhile as this healed, the ankle
of my next foot burst like a pod of seed,
shattering the skin without,
with ponds of pus.

'No oxygen for the feet, major blocks
everywhere, walk up, drink water, give
the vegetables and greens a shot---
in short transform into a moving robot slave.

And if you are writing a poem
don't forget to put the feet up.


Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

( -----a startling mix of medicine in the year 2015 and traditional methods
that might see as having a high component of theater.)--a co-traveller

It started off as a slipper-bite
festered to make my feet ugly
burning the skin, venomous.

''We must see Dr.Thambiah''.
Meanwhile as this healed, the ankle
of my next foot burst like a pod of seed,
shattering the skin without,
with ponds of pus.

Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.

Thambiah merely nodded his head.
(as I calculated one more ring
in that gnarled Nagalinga tree.)

''No oxygen for the feet, major blocks
everywhere,walk up, drink water, give
the vegetables and greens a shot---
in short transform into a moving robot slave.

And if you are writing a poem
don't forget to put the feet up.

Jesse
Posts: 14
Joined: 24 Jul 2005, 07:40

Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins

#9 Post by Jesse » 21 Dec 2015, 23:26

You sent through dôme
Réal pain.

Nice graphie images !

Jeep listing.

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