Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
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- Posts: 1168
- Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30
Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
What started off as a small slipper bite
festered and made my feet ugly.
I said this is skinny so I must go to Thambiah
who had died as per the papers but the mob had resurrected him.
His assistant merely nodded his head and I thought
I calculated one more gnarled ring to that Nagalinga tree.
Meanwhile, as this healed, the ankle of my next foot burst
like a pod of seed, shattering the skin without,
the tiny in-depth wound widening
causing great pain with ponds of pus.
Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks to string out the varicose
branching out like a stubborn green bad blood vein.
''No oxygen for the feet. Major blocks everywhere.
So no rest for your lazy feet. Walk up and make the circulation rush
exercise and drink water, give the greens and vegetables
a great helping, in short transform to a moving robot
and if you are writing your poem, don't forget to put your legs up.''
festered and made my feet ugly.
I said this is skinny so I must go to Thambiah
who had died as per the papers but the mob had resurrected him.
His assistant merely nodded his head and I thought
I calculated one more gnarled ring to that Nagalinga tree.
Meanwhile, as this healed, the ankle of my next foot burst
like a pod of seed, shattering the skin without,
the tiny in-depth wound widening
causing great pain with ponds of pus.
Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks to string out the varicose
branching out like a stubborn green bad blood vein.
''No oxygen for the feet. Major blocks everywhere.
So no rest for your lazy feet. Walk up and make the circulation rush
exercise and drink water, give the greens and vegetables
a great helping, in short transform to a moving robot
and if you are writing your poem, don't forget to put your legs up.''
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
Hi Siva,
upon a 1st read-thru:
"a stubborn green bad blood vein."
^^ a blockage of adjectives
of how doctors slit the shanks to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.
Michael (MV)
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- Posts: 1168
- Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30
Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
Michael
Thank you.Perhaps you could guide me a little more.Thanks.
Siva
Thank you.Perhaps you could guide me a little more.Thanks.
Siva
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- Posts: 1168
- Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30
Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
"a stubborn green bad blood vein."
a blockage of adjectives
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.
a blockage of adjectives
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
Siva,
"a blockage of adjectives" refers to those words before "vein." I was not suggesting it as an edited line for the poem.
in accord w/ this arrangement:
Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.
in the spirit of clarification & creativity
Michael (MV)
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- Posts: 1168
- Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30
Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
Michael
Thanks for your prompt workshop.(ping) I will use this when I edit.
S
Thanks for your prompt workshop.(ping) I will use this when I edit.
S
Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
a startling mix of medicine in the year 2015 and traditional methods that might see as having a high component of theater.
bernie
bernie
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- Posts: 1168
- Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30
Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
Michael
I have worked on this poem.Can you please workshop it a little more.It reads like a journal entry.
Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
It started off as a slipper-bite
festered to make my feet ugly
venous incompetency
burning the skin.
Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.
''We must see Dr.Thambiah''.
''A startling mix of medicine
in the year 2015 and traditional methods
might see as having a high component of theater.''
Thambiah merely nodded his head,and
I calculated one more ring
in that gnarled Nagalinga tree.
Meanwhile as this healed, the ankle
of my next foot burst like a pod of seed,
shattering the skin without,
with ponds of pus.
'No oxygen for the feet, major blocks
everywhere, walk up, drink water, give
the vegetables and greens a shot---
in short transform into a moving robot slave.
And if you are writing a poem
don't forget to put the feet up.
Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
( -----a startling mix of medicine in the year 2015 and traditional methods
that might see as having a high component of theater.)--a co-traveller
It started off as a slipper-bite
festered to make my feet ugly
burning the skin, venomous.
''We must see Dr.Thambiah''.
Meanwhile as this healed, the ankle
of my next foot burst like a pod of seed,
shattering the skin without,
with ponds of pus.
Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.
Thambiah merely nodded his head.
(as I calculated one more ring
in that gnarled Nagalinga tree.)
''No oxygen for the feet, major blocks
everywhere,walk up, drink water, give
the vegetables and greens a shot---
in short transform into a moving robot slave.
And if you are writing a poem
don't forget to put the feet up.
I have worked on this poem.Can you please workshop it a little more.It reads like a journal entry.
Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
It started off as a slipper-bite
festered to make my feet ugly
venous incompetency
burning the skin.
Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.
''We must see Dr.Thambiah''.
''A startling mix of medicine
in the year 2015 and traditional methods
might see as having a high component of theater.''
Thambiah merely nodded his head,and
I calculated one more ring
in that gnarled Nagalinga tree.
Meanwhile as this healed, the ankle
of my next foot burst like a pod of seed,
shattering the skin without,
with ponds of pus.
'No oxygen for the feet, major blocks
everywhere, walk up, drink water, give
the vegetables and greens a shot---
in short transform into a moving robot slave.
And if you are writing a poem
don't forget to put the feet up.
Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
( -----a startling mix of medicine in the year 2015 and traditional methods
that might see as having a high component of theater.)--a co-traveller
It started off as a slipper-bite
festered to make my feet ugly
burning the skin, venomous.
''We must see Dr.Thambiah''.
Meanwhile as this healed, the ankle
of my next foot burst like a pod of seed,
shattering the skin without,
with ponds of pus.
Silently I listened to case histories
of how doctors slit the shanks
to string out the varicose
branching out in a stubborn green.
Thambiah merely nodded his head.
(as I calculated one more ring
in that gnarled Nagalinga tree.)
''No oxygen for the feet, major blocks
everywhere,walk up, drink water, give
the vegetables and greens a shot---
in short transform into a moving robot slave.
And if you are writing a poem
don't forget to put the feet up.
Re: Pulling Out My Varicose Veins
You sent through dôme
Réal pain.
Nice graphie images !
Jeep listing.
Réal pain.
Nice graphie images !
Jeep listing.