Your Eyesight is a Blessing

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Your Eyesight is a Blessing

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 24 Jul 2016, 22:13

Your Eyesight is a Blessing

as you nurture in your small room
cymbidiums

--their bodies like geishas,
graceful and slender, holding

their flowers like fans.
Beyond your window a tea garden

beckons you to sit beneath
a mulberry tree, cocooned

in a heavy blanket, gazing
at the flickering koi

and the tiny, fan-like gingko leaves
fluttering into the pond.

On a ventilator, your sighs falter
like waves, yet you feel blessed

sitting under the changing light
of the blood red maples,

the branches of the flowering pear tree
fanning into clouds of light.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing

#2 Post by FranktheFrank » 24 Jul 2016, 22:48

wow, this is so unlike you Bob.

I love it, the colour, Japanese theme

and the shock of illness

and the blood red dead.

Well done, think I will nominate.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 24 Jul 2016, 23:00

Thanks, Frank. I'm glad it works. Best, Bob

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing

#4 Post by FranktheFrank » 24 Jul 2016, 23:54

Something Bernie about this :)

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 25 Jul 2016, 00:30

Anything Bernie....is good.

meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing

#6 Post by meenas17 » 25 Jul 2016, 06:13

A very good poem, Bob. -
Cymbidiums, mulberry tree, ginkgo leaves ,red maples and flowers of the pear tree add colour tp the poem.
Love the lines
beckons you to sit beneath
a mulberry tree, cocooned.
Bob, the poem is short and sweet.
Great!

Best.
meenas17

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing

#7 Post by BobBradshaw » 25 Jul 2016, 07:01

Thanks, Meena!

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Your Eyesight is a Blessing

#8 Post by Michael (MV) » 30 Jul 2016, 20:07

Hi Bob,

is this inspired by Vincent Van Gogh?


a form of fan appears 3x - this doesn't necessarily flaw the poem, but there is not a metaphorical shift w/ each appearance - each is fan-like


The 1st is creative - like in Fantasia

as you nurture in your small room
boat orchids floating geisha-like (or floating like geishas, if you choose this arrangement)

holding petals that flower into fans.
Beyond your window a tea garden



re the 2nd:

and the tiny gingko leaves
fluttering into the pond.

^^ fluttering is fanning


or workshop sharing -

in a heavy blanket, gazing
at the flickering koi

and the gingko leaves
pedaling through the pond.

gingko leaves are tiny



re your concern w/ the title:

1/ since this passage is in the poem

"On a ventilator, your sighs falter
like waves, yet you feel blessed

sitting under the changing light
of the blood red maples,"

says about the same as the title

and 2/ The entire poem reveals itself like a spectacular Fantasia vignette witnessing the pedestrian title


then perhaps in the title field vignette

if Van Gogh inspired, vignette, after Van Gogh

or

Van Gogh vignette


oh, and the 3rd

the branches of the flowering pear tree
fanning clouds into lifts of light.

^^ here the fanning is just right - the fan of the higher Hand


8)


Michael (MV) a fan of Our Father's Higher Hand

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Your Eyesight is a Blessing

#9 Post by FranktheFrank » 31 Jul 2016, 00:34

If it is about Van Gogh, and it seems it is, then his name should be in the title, or the title of one of his paintings.

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