9-15-2001 (a song of experience)

[Michael (MV)]

 
By that Saturday
morning, another small

son powers off
The Mighty Morphin Rangers,
slams down the remote,
and demands --

"Where is my father
you said he'd be home by now?"


By mid-morning snack
a loss of appetite for PB&J
and the last he saw
in cartoons or staying tuned for
more make believe

superheroes,
as he changed stations
and searched with the rescue
workers in HD on the big screen.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
  

[SivaRamanathan]

It is neat and compact and those two lines "Where is my father
you said he'd be home by now?" hold the poem.


I nominate this poem for the October IBPC.

Siva

[Kenneth2816]

I like the compression.I like the combination of mental pictures coupled with the emotion this evokes. I might suggest changing son to boy, and father to daddy. A kid like that prolly would not use the more formal term.

I like how you DONT include to whom the boy is speaking. This allows the kids anger to be directed both at the missing parent as well as to whomever he is addressing .

The best part: the absence of the father and the on screen search.Good pairing, strong.

[iowaboy99]

Real nice poem. Agree with Siva. IBPC material. Was not bothered by son nor father, as I imagine the mother would be saying, if she were able to speak, your father will be home soon... So the word father would be in verbal mix, if that makes any sense.