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Morning Glory

Posted: 01 Oct 2016, 03:47
by Billy
Morning Glory

Their leaves
large and small hearts

climbing the wall
of hatred--

the royal purple
of a new day.

Re: Morning Glory

Posted: 13 Oct 2016, 22:20
by Bernie01
Billy---


i like the poem best with this edit:


Their leaves
large and small hearts

climbing the wall


the royal purple
of a new day.


hatred
is too strong.

what do you think?


but more, i hope, haiku like.


bernie

Re: Morning Glory

Posted: 17 Oct 2016, 16:39
by EricRomm
Hello.
Yes, hatred sounds too harsh.

Re: Morning Glory

Posted: 18 Oct 2016, 08:29
by Michael (MV)
 
Hi Billy,

workshop sharing these distilled to 3 lines less than 17 syllables     8)   Michael (MV)

leaves large and small hearts
purple upon the wall --
  Morning Glory


leaves large and small hearts
the wall falls to purple --
  Morning Glory


 leaves large and small hearts
the wall appears purple --
  Morning Glory
 
 
 leaves large and small hearts
purple reigns the wall --
  Morning Glory
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Re: Morning Glory

Posted: 20 Oct 2016, 01:07
by BobBradshaw
I like the idea of a haiku here as well....I like Michael's first try at it:

leaves large and small hearts
purple upon the wall --
Morning Glory