"davidic"

[Michael (MV)]

 
not heartache
not heart-broken
not bleeding heart

instead heart
attack heart burn
from a pounding of the heart beating

with a passion for protection
there is no heart failure


from the start
the heart alright
already by-passing
the headstone


the heart of gold
ruby-red & blue-black outpacing the reaper
beyond grasp
the love of two
triumphs as one
purple heart 
 
 
 
  
 
  
 
  
 
 

[SivaRamanathan]

I read this several times.I like it but am not able to say why.I think of the last three lines as a separate stanza.

[FranktheFrank]

not heartache
not heart-broken
not bleeding heart

instead heart [suggestion: 'rather' for 'instead']
attack heart [this one beats me]
burn heart beating [maybe: burnt heart]

there is no heart failure

the heart of gold [a heart of gold?]
red & blue keeping pace [left and right ventricles, we get it, good]
the love of two
beating as one
purple heart [purple heart as in the American medal for valour?]

[Michael (MV)]

Hi Siva,

Thanks for reading & commenting.


Poetry is not science and ultimately does not answer to Why.


The last 3 lines are indeed a triune while also the 3rd, 4th, and 5th lines in UniSon with the initial couplet of that 5-line stanza.




Michael (MV)

I read this several times.I like it but am not able to say why.I think of the last three lines as a separate stanza.

[FranktheFrank]

How would you describe this type of poem Michael?

[Michael (MV)]

 
Hi Frank,


formally, it is free form


turning/reversing the cliché - hopefully making new

Heart here isn't cardiovascular - it's metaphor for the pulse & redemption of life


The 1st stanza is defies the conditions

The congested 2nd stanza giving agency - and in the imperative mood - Heart, attack, etc..

Victory - there is no heart failure - the physical muscle will eventually give out - but not the miracle of life


The Why - the finale

The phrase "heart of gold" becomes a purple heart - valor Victory

red & blue - a passionate conjunction of opposites - purple

2 pieces become One Peace

and together trump Victorious

the love of two
beating as one
purple heart


I'm considering trump for "beating":

the love of two
trump as one
purple heart

or the progressive:

the love of two
trumping as one
purple heart


although I am concerned readers will hear Donald Trump

but the Heart will have already trumped that by then

I was considering "He art" as the title.


Thanks, Frank, for your interest in this poem




Michael (MV)

 
 
 
 
 
  
  
 
 

[FranktheFrank]

Trump is fine, use the lower case, it is a better choice of the two.

[SivaRamanathan]

Am I glad Frank asked that question?

And Michael,I am floored by your interpretation. Hats off to your dedication to the Muses!

S

[meenas17]

Is it what you call a reverse poem?

Meena,

[Michael (MV)]

 
Hi Meena.

it is not a poem that can be read backwards - thus by that definition, it is not a reverse poem


that it redeems the physiological literal(heart failure) metaphorically(there is no failure of the heart - courage) -
in that way, perhaps the term reverse might apply


"Make it new"     Ezra Pound

"See Mother I make all new again"     Christ, the Messiah




Michael (MV)

Is it what you call a reverse poem?

Meena,

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

[Bernie01]

M---


the phrasing is so original despite the economy of actual language. I found myself more fully
experiencing each conflagration of powerful words---words that in my heart intermix and often
fail to catch fire as a result.


very original pom.

bernie