I Talk With Flowers.

[meenas17]

Revision.

Sitting in my porch
overlooking the lawn
I, as a school girl.
used to spend my evening
just gazing at the flowerbed.

The roses were sparse
small in size, more like a bud
with their tips of yellow
red and orange
flames.

The sunflower behind it
brandished a golden yellow
the orange sunset at the back
melting into a red ground.

The basil was green
thick as a tuft
a strange sanctity
carried in its bearing.

I talked to each one of them
some turning brown at the edges
of their petals, as singed
tissue.

My heart went out to them
I felt close to them all the more
than with anyone around.

















Sitting in my porch
overlooking the lawn
I, as a school girl.
used to spend my evening
just gazing at the flowerbeds.

The roses were sparse
small in size,more like a bud
colourful in their hue
stood majestic among the rest.

The sunflower big and bright
brandished a yellow glow
contrasted the sunset
being a combination of red and orange.

There were the local jasmines
sprouting up not very high
displayed a spread of white
exuding a fragrance that filled the air.

Besides I saw the basil
green and thick as a tuft
significant in their bearing
delivering a sanctity peculiar to them.

I talked to each one of them.
My heart went out to them
while I found a nearness to them too well
greater than I reached any human.

[BobBradshaw]

There are some very nice touches here. I think some tweaking can enhance them even more. Just some ideas....

for example,

The roses were sparse
small in size,more like buds
with their tips of yellow,
red and orange
flames

or here

The sunflower big and bright
brandished a yellow glow,
the orange sunset behind it
melting into a red ground

or

the basil was green
and thick as a tuft,
a peculiar sanctity
carried in its bearing

or maybe

I talked to each one of them,
some turning brown at the edges
of their petals, like singed
tissue

My heart went out to them

[meenas17]

Thanks for the suggestions, Bob.
I will consider during the revision.