Dusk
A broken vase. Pieces swept into a corner.
The serous sunset. Having to sit down,
out of breath, his fingers feel for left carotid.
Pulse like a night light. Peace a witness
to the approaching darkness. A dog howls
in the distance as if pain can be released
and sleep come easy, settled in a warm
spot where others have laid down their lives.
The end as welcome as the beginning.
Dusk
Re: Dusk
Billy---
love this one---the poem avoids being literal, but still manages to be both clear and imaginative.
The serous sunset. staggers with originality.
and this original, but clear movement:
his fingers feel for left carotid.
and i like this line very much:
Pulse like a night light.
another knockout, great.
and a summarizing phrase, nimble and yet substantive,
Peace a witness
to the approaching darkness.
especially when included here:
The end as welcome as the beginning.
fine job. compact and a series of eye opening surprises.
bernie
love this one---the poem avoids being literal, but still manages to be both clear and imaginative.
The serous sunset. staggers with originality.
and this original, but clear movement:
his fingers feel for left carotid.
and i like this line very much:
Pulse like a night light.
another knockout, great.
and a summarizing phrase, nimble and yet substantive,
Peace a witness
to the approaching darkness.
especially when included here:
The end as welcome as the beginning.
fine job. compact and a series of eye opening surprises.
bernie
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Dusk
Resonates with me Billy. Not getting any younger.
Well done, well done.
It's what its like.
Well done, well done.
It's what its like.
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Dusk
Great job, Billy....Bernie said it so well...anyway, my favorite line...
A dog howls
in the distance as if pain can be released
A dog howls
in the distance as if pain can be released
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- Posts: 140
- Joined: 09 Jul 2017, 06:34
Re: Dusk
A very sensitive poem.The flow from the second to the third stanza is smooth and the end comes with a truism. Like the way you have treated the addiction.
S
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