Wild Beasts*

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Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Wild Beasts*

#1 Post by Bernie01 » 12 Aug 2017, 21:54

Rain cleans the casino windows
bright as a yellow tiger. The night
quiet as a purse thief.

A girl lights a Gauloise, she walks
the boulevard naked under a raincoat,
a rococo nude, fauve nude covered
by the wide brim of an ostrich hat.

The liturgical night comes for me.
Streetlights hum under their breath.
Thinning streets, empty, alabaster air.

Tomorrow I'll clear out, take that job
with the Tribune, a weather report
says I've seen the last of you.




*Fauvism | Essay | Heilbrunn Timeline of Art History | The Metropolitan ...
http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/hd/fauv/hd_fauv.htm
...they inspired the witty critic Louis Vauxcelles to call them fauves (“wild beasts”) in his review for the magazine Gil Blas.



https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/ ... to-fauvism

BobBradshaw
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Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Wild Beasts*

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 12 Aug 2017, 22:31

Beautiful...you're on an incredible roll. This poem is filled with gems....my favorite?

Streetlights hum under their breath

But what a great ending...and that second stanza is to die for...great work, Bernie

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Wild Beasts*

#3 Post by Billy » 13 Aug 2017, 05:44

I like alabaster air. Good poem. I'm not sure I saw her as a prostitute even
though she was naked under a raincoat.

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Wild Beasts*

#4 Post by Bernie01 » 13 Aug 2017, 07:10

Bob---

it's creative here, i feel like writing.



Billy---


think it's the word boulevard.

double meaning in Las Vegas. i wonder if it's important to make her profession, probably not.


other than casino....probably the town is not made as Las Vegas. there again, not important. The first title of this poem was Las Vegas. But it doesn't matter, if the casino is in Macao or Casablanca---so i abandoned the relevance of that idea....i think any windy city, a bit of an island, a cocoon, advances the isolation felt by the narrator.

thanks guys for stopping by.


bernie

SivaVelliangiri
Posts: 140
Joined: 09 Jul 2017, 06:34

Re: Wild Beasts*

#5 Post by SivaVelliangiri » 13 Aug 2017, 21:20

B
The scene is set with the first introductory stanza. A nude girl wearing a raincoat and a hat, and Galois I presume is the brand name of a cigarette, is not the painting. This then is the liturgical night. ‘’ Streetlights hum under their breath’ is a beautiful line. The last stanza is very clever. Though I have a doubt, a weather report says I've seen the last of you.’ The ýou’ does it refer to the girl in the painting or the narrator of the poem? The title is just right.
S

SivaVelliangiri
Posts: 140
Joined: 09 Jul 2017, 06:34

Re: Wild Beasts*

#6 Post by SivaVelliangiri » 13 Aug 2017, 21:28

B
The girl is not in the painting. It is like in the movies.Yes, the isolation comes through.
S

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Wild Beasts*

#7 Post by Bernie01 » 14 Aug 2017, 04:28

hi Siva---

this poem has several figures of speech---the windows clean as yellow tigers, a night quiet as a purse thief, all images.

this one less clearly intended as an image as opposed to a literal statement:

a rococo nude, fauve nude covered

i understand a reader may not see this as i see it---an image.

Streetlights hum under their breath and alabaster air.

both clearly images.

the ending continues figurative phrasing. the line is not literal, it is ironic---hopefully a reader picks up on this while indeed learning the narrator has lost a girlfriend.

the weather report is a paraphrase, not literal:

I've seen the last of you.


but the reader hopefully understands, the narrator is alone. and hence, he decides to take a job in another town with the Tribune newspaper.

as for the mauve nude, once again, both literal and an image.

i'm writing a poem now that uses the physical fact of closing down a house after a rental period as a metaphor for closing down the lives off the renters.


thanks for your questions...questions we ask ourselves with every poem.


bernie

SivaVelliangiri
Posts: 140
Joined: 09 Jul 2017, 06:34

Re: Wild Beasts*

#8 Post by SivaVelliangiri » 14 Aug 2017, 08:08

B
Thanks for spreading your images out like a fan of cards.I will never do this again. At present I am reading a book of poems by 'Leontia Flynn' called 'Profit And Loss;-spring cleaning on life's detritus--to quote the blurb.

S

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Wild Beasts*

#9 Post by FranktheFrank » 14 Aug 2017, 11:01

I agree with Bob, you are on a liturgical roll
long may it last, publish them
and enjoy the freedom of expression.

Rain cleans the casino windows [maybe: washes the sea salt from the . . . ]
bright as a yellow tiger. The night [would yellow stiped tiger work?]
quiet as a purse thief. [could you use, silk purse thief?]

A girl lights a Gauloise, she walks

the boulevard naked under a raincoat,
[Boulevard support this theory,
French for avenue or wide street.]
a rococo nude, fauve nude covered
by the wide brim of an ostrich hat.

The liturgical night comes for me.
[I like the liturgy of the night,
the 2nd line so funny, humour in a poem so becoming]
Streetlights hum under their breath.
Thinning streets, empty, alabaster air.
[You cast the mood so well we are in the street,
hear the light hum, feel alone as the Monacans sit
indoors for their suppers]

Tomorrow I'll clear out, take that job
with the Tribune, a weather report
[Your visit to England so long ago now gives
you never ending clips to paste into your scrapbook.
The jump to an English newspaper takes us across
the channel and we know your weekend visit is over
leaving the excitement of the casinos and those
wicked French girls behind and life begins again
with: get a job with the British,
how mundane is that.

says I've seen the last of you.

So many gems this month, don't burn up though.
You tell with so few words, cast images
for us to fill in the gaps of the narrrative,
a work of art.

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Wild Beasts*

#10 Post by Bernie01 » 14 Aug 2017, 20:45

Siva---

it's healthy for me, for my poms, to talk more about them. my ideas, if that is not to fancy a term, for how i approach the poetry craft.

i ask about your Padma poem.

...fresh air blowing from nearby Retteri Lake.

a French school with the students in uniforms i imagined there.

did you respond?


but this Forum---for me---is a school, a union of struggling poets all seeking to encourage each other while getting ever closer to our own voice.

i've not yet read L Flynn---but i bet she is terrific---i picked up this quote somewhere and about the time several years ago when the Guardian gave her a favorable---a rave---review:


“I think in poetry you go a funny way around the houses to get your meaning across. I do tend to make noises and sound effects sometimes, rather than use words. Poetry is always aware of this non-linguistic other part of itself.”



bernie

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Wild Beasts*

#11 Post by Bernie01 » 14 Aug 2017, 21:04

Frank---

i like your suggestions. careful, you'll get to be like me, always revising.

a disease and a virtue.

hey, i like the scene you set....the Moroccans in traditional garb around small braziers of charcoal,
goat strips, prunes and figs for dinner---their missing teeth and leather hard cheeks reminded of the unforgiving nature of the desert.


i've been there. so deep in morocco i was off the map---you reminded me of this journey.


what a great poetry pal you are. what would i do without you?


bernie



matisse, fauve paining of a nude---

https://www.moma.org/explore/multimedia/audios/220/2263

subtitled, memory of biskra---yes, that moody feeling i hope the poem captures when the heart of a strong man is broken by a strong woman.

biskra, the final point before the desert.

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Billy
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Re: Wild Beasts*

#12 Post by Billy » 14 Aug 2017, 21:39

probably just me Bernie. I've lived with people who were not prostitutes and would walk around naked under a coat. They would smoke Galois, but I don't see an American prostitute smoking one, maybe a high class prostitute. Of course I grew up in the sixties and women did lots of things in those days.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Wild Beasts*

#13 Post by FranktheFrank » 15 Aug 2017, 02:16

Monacans not Morocans :)

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Wild Beasts*

#14 Post by Bernie01 » 18 Aug 2017, 09:51

Billy---

not important her profession. she doesn't get along with our narrator. could be an actress, an artist. the cigarette is optional.

thanks for thinking about this one.


Frank---

Morocco? loved it once. so deep, travel by horse cart....


thanks for your comment.


bernie

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Wild Beasts*

#15 Post by Michael (MV) » 31 Aug 2017, 11:49

 
Hi bernie,

I like the poem informed by art - I like the brotherhood of fauve


I like the the figures in stanza 1 -

the 1st is apropos fauve
and the 2nd echoes "like a thief in the night"

^^ fauve while we are young

^^ that will fade in stanza 3, which reminds me of Jane Kenyon's "Let evening come" & also Emily Dickinson's alabaster chambers


my workshop concern is this line:

"a rococo nude, fauve nude covered"

^^ the "nude" 2x

consider as possibly:

A girl lights a Gauloise, she walks
the boulevard naked & rococo    
under a raincoat, a fauve nude covered
by the wide brim of an ostrich hat.

A girl lights a Gauloise, she walks
the boulevard raw & rococo
under a raincoat, a fauve nude covered
by the wide brim of an ostrich hat.

bernie,

I see Bob has given this poem a nom-nod: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=6667#p29311
 

  8)
 
Michael (MV) 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 

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