Swathi Nagar Flat, Government Housing Board

[SivaVelliangiri]

When I saw the partially built flats in the distance, I paused,
not really wanting to climb dusty construction ladders.
When completed, I did visit Amma's room,
splayed with sunlight like the gold pagoda of Mum Moorthis,
but featuring her single cot and night stand of ivory gods.

Her large window opened onto the parade ground where the RSS
drilled and each day passed as slowly as Amma with her metal
walker.

In this flat they hid scissors and knives, even caged the balcony,
but no one had thought of the danger in Puja flowers.
Ixora seeds, bleached green and ground as she had seen in movies.

When the government built these low cost apartments
there were no elevators. One still has to climb stairs.

Amma was immobile, her mind moved superfast.
She chewed enough dry flowers,
enough to cause an infection.

The desire to go is the same, only the means differs.
By now my brother had become an expert.
He knew how to bring the toxins out.
Hospitals were avoided.

When my daughter rained a shower of flowers
I lusted for her diamonds, peacock pendant
with an emerald belly; her pair of ear-studs.
How she engineered the show, brilliant.
She pushed the mortar and pestle in her wheel chair
powdered these glittering carbon stones.

Amma wanted to end the hierarchy.
She swallowed the powdered diamonds.
But death came slowly, a long time after
very slowly.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------











When I saw the partially built flats in the distance, I paused,
not really wanting to climb dusty construction ladders.
When completed, I did visit Amma's room,
splayed with sunlight like the gold pagoda of Mum Moorthis,
but featuring her single cot and night stand of ivory gods.

Her large window opened onto the parade ground where the RSS
drilled and each day passed as slowly as Amma with her metal
walker.

In this flat they hid scissors and knives, even caged the balcony,
but no one had thought of the danger in Puja flowers.
Ixora seeds, bleached green and ground as she had seen in movies.

When the government built these low cost apartments
there were no elevators. One still has to climb stairs.

Amma was immobile, her mind moved superfast.
She chewed enough dry flowers,
enough to cause an infection.

The desire to go is the same, only the means differs.
By now my brother had become an expert.
He knew how to bring the toxins out.
Hospitals were avoided.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When My Daughter Rained A Shower Of Flowers

I lusted for her diamonds, peacock pendant
with an emerald belly; her pair of ear-studs.
How she engineered the show, brilliant.
She pushed the mortar and pestle in her wheel chair
powdered these glittering carbon stones.


The End

Amma wanted to end the hierarchy.
She swallowed the powdered diamonds.
But death came slowly, a long time after;
very slowly.

[Kenneth2816]

This is my favorite of the series. I question
entitling by stanza, poem is strong as is.

[SivaVelliangiri]

Thanks Ken for your suggestion.


Siva

[Gracy321]

Hi Siva,
I've read some of your poems before. I love getting to know other countries by way of poets' imagery and word usage.
This one is no exception.
I understand that Amma is an elderly person housed in a government project, not quite finished. She uses a walker, very slowly. The reader is allowed to imagine her state of mind.
No sharp objects allowed, but Amma can deal with that rule, she has other knowledge.
Not sure about "my brother", where he comes in. Amma chews Puja flowers, which cause an infection. Maybe the brother "helps" her with these powdered diamonds, but the poem indicates that he removes the toxins.

Still, no need for the reader to reflect on these minor uncertainties. Amma pushes the mortar and pestle so as to powder the diamonds.
They provoke a lingering, maybe painful death. Sad.

I've read your poem several times, Siva. Enjoyed, it's highly original. It depicts the darker side of poor people's lives. And deaths.
BTW, when N mentions her daughter, I'm also mystified. Not sure about these relationships, or whether they've helped Amma or tried to offer her a means to end it all.
Thanks for sharing these insights.
Gracy

[FranktheFrank]

Siva
Why not cut to the core now that this poem is almost ready
it might focus the reader more on this sad but vivid tale.

Partially built flats in the distance stand out
like ships. I pause, not really wanting to climb
construction ladders. I wait until completed.
Amma's room, splayed with sunlight
like the gold pagoda of Mum Moorthis,
her single cot and night stand [full] of ivory gods.

I have not italicised Amma because it is so well known a word
you could do so, it is optional.

If you like what I've done, try your own take on that first stanza and
continue throughout, I would not suggest you use 'ships' but something of yours
something Indian or Hindu. You could win aplace with this one.

Continue the same throughout.

[Marvellous critique Gracy, welcome, welcome again.]

[SivaVelliangiri]

Gracy and Frank

Thank you for reading and your suggestions. I have been invited to Pondicherry to read my poems tomorrow.I will look at the poem on Thursday.

Siva

[SivaVelliangiri]

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